差し出されるその手繋ぐから。

247 lbs of Love: The Liar’s Game: Seventh Lie

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 04:33:12 GMT

Three simple rules, thirty short days
Title: 247 lbs of Love: The Liar’s Game
Summary: Jin, Yamashita and Ryo made a bet that Jin couldn’t get into Kame’s pants within a month. Stubbornly, Jin accepted the challenge; what he couldn’t accept were the feelings that came along with it. After all, the third rule was that it was Kame’s job to fall in love; not his
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairings: Akame (main) [Jin/Kame], mentions of Ryoda [Ryo/Ueda] and Tomapi [Yamashita/Toma]
Other Characters: KAT-TUN, Ryo, Yamashita
Content: Romance, drama, light humor, inevitable angst, major Kokame friendship, slightly cruel plot?
Author: Nerd-san
Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with Johnny Entertainment

247 lbs of Love: The Liar’s Game: Seventh Lie

The Liar’s Game: Seventh Lie
Rule 1: No one is to know about any of this being a game
Rule 2: If anyone is to find out about the lies, the game is over
Rule 3: You, by no means, are to fall in love with your victim

Kame uncomfortably shifted his weight in his chair. “Jin?”

Jin, who was blankly staring at his glass and its contents slowly tore his gaze and turned to his boyfriend. “Yeah?”

Kame registered Jin’s words but looked painfully at the dance floor where he could see Koki and Nakamaru, Taguchi and someone he hadn’t recognized, and even Yamashita was happily bouncing about.

Tegoshi and Massu remained seated, although nowhere near Jin and Kame, along with most of NEWS who were mindlessly chatting about.

It was a lively and upbeat atmosphere; the lights dimed so that neither idol needed much of a disguise and even Ryo and Ueda seemed to be talking in a corner of their own.

Kame sighed and turned back to the drink he had barely touched. Why were he and Jin the only ones who seemed broody? Kame sighed again. “Can we not dance?” he asked quietly, “we’ve done enough of that at work already.”

Jin didn’t want to get up of his seat either so he muddled a quick “yeah.”

He and Kame had been sitting around doing next to nothing for the past half an hour, ordering drinks that had gone to waste and eating food that they hadn’t even liked.

Regardless, Kame couldn’t help but to smile. He was with Jin; that was all that mattered. Their stools were close enough for Kame to plop his head into the crook of Jin’s neck and leave it there.

As if it were an automated reaction, Jin took his hand from his glass and began threading a finger through the latter’s hair. Kame closed his eyes and allowed Jin’s presence to engulf him. “I…I like this.” He took a hand and wrapped it around Jin’s.

All Jin could do was nod solemnly. Kame was being affectionate. That should have been a good thing. A really good thing. But the only feeling left in the pit of his stomach was the churning of the water in his system.

He closed his eyes. Perhaps if he had just imagined himself to be elsewhere, he wouldn’t feel so empty. Jin rested his head on top of Kame’s. “Yeah,” he muttered breathlessly.

Kame frowned as he opened his eyes. “Jin, is something the matter?” He took his head from Jin’s neck but still held on firmly to his hand. Jin refused to look the man in the eyes.

Kame noticed but said nothing. He didn’t understand the concept of relationships, but he did understand that Jin clearly did not want to be here. Were they still fighting? Kame thought that they had already come to a mutual agreement to take their relationship a lot slower. Was Jin mad because of that?

He tore his gaze from the stone-like Jin and to the clock pasted on the wall of the small tavern. Its hands read a little past ten since the moment they had gotten there. Broken, Kame thought.

The clock stops its movement and this night continues on it its awkward manner…as if it’s revealing all the faults in our relationship. “You’re not very talkative and all you’ve been telling me since the moment we got here is ‘yeah’.”

Kame said this in the best nonchalant voice he could muster. But then again what was the point in acting indifferent? He loved Jin.

Jin didn’t seem to notice and only asked the bartender for another shot, disposing of his last untouched cup. “Oh,” he muttered, giving the bartender his money.

Kame made a face as he ordered another glass of water. Jin lightly smiled at Kame’s prudish choice of drink and ended up laughing nonetheless. Kame grinned and reached into his pocket, revealing a shining onyx phone.

“Here, look.” He nudged Jin as the tender slid over his order. “It’s the phone you bought for me.” Jin took it from Kame’s hands and inspected the phone carefully. Perfect condition; barely used.

“Ah.” Jin nodded, remembering where it had come from. “You already switched?” he was surprised at how quick that had been. How quickly he had lied – how easily Kame had accepted his lie. Jin silently wondered if ‘trusting someone too much’ existed.

KAT-TUN’s youngest member continued to remain oblivious to Jin’s inner seething as he hooked an arm around Jin’s. Jin didn’t mind the action, not at all, but it still sent unpleasant shivers down his spine. He was confused. Oh so confused.

In his life, Kame was supposed to be someone who came and went. At most, a friend. This, Jin thought, this was a lie. All of it: a big, fat lie.

Wrapping a protective hand around Kame’s torso, pulling him close, whispering things he couldn’t even remember – it wasn’t what Jin wanted to do on his own accord; it was what he did to win.

“Of course I already switched.” Kame confirmed, resting his head in Jin’s chest now. Kame chuckled as he leaned up to give Jin a kiss. Jin cocked his head to turn and the kiss ended up landing on his left cheek. “For your ears only, though, right?”

Jin groaned at the touch but kept the sound to a minimal. I need a drink. A long, hard drink. He didn’t need to be reminded of his lies. But being with Kame was already clear proof.

Jin shook his head ignorantly and handed the phone back. “I was just kidding. Use it in whatever way you want.”

Kame latched himself from the latter and pursed his lips before turning back to his water. “Mood killer.”

Kame was being affectionate. Very affectionate. Jin knew this, yet he couldn’t bring himself up to make even the tiniest of movements. It was like Kame had some sort of untouchable wall surrounding him that Jin couldn’t break down, no matter how hard he tried.

If he tried, really tried and not the half-assed attempts he had been giving thus far, he probably would succeed in breaking past the barriers Kame had set up for himself.

Oddly enough, though, Jin didn’t want to. No matter what the current situation was, at the end of the day, Kame was still his friend.

If Kame was his friend, then he wouldn’t have been doing this to him. Jin shook his glass and watched its contents swivel around ruthlessly. “I’m sorry.” With his voice barely above a whisper, Jin almost began to laugh at himself. Just what was he doing?

“Jin, what are you apologizing for?” Kame softly interjected, confusion written on every feature of his paling face.

Jin looked a Kame for a second. His hair was as perfect as ever, his lips slightly parted in bewilderment, eyebrow narrowed softly and eyes on Jin. You’re not my lover, yet you’re not my friend. Just what are you to me, Kame?

“You’re the type of person who’d tell me a truthful ‘I just like you’ instead of a deceitful ‘I truly love you’.” Jin settled with at last, disregarding his gin and standing up from his stool. He felt sick. Sort of. And for reasons he had yet to understand.

Confusion continued to sweep through Kame as he stood up as well, walking towards the latter. “What are you talking about Jin?” he didn’t understand what was with Jin’s sudden outburst. “Jin, I lo—”

“I don’t think I should have come out tonight.” Jin cut him off, stopping in his movements abruptly so that Kame accidently bumped into him.

The older man took a rough hand and swept it through his rigid hair. “My head’s killing me,” he admitted.

Kame nodded and opened his mouth to say something before Yamashita’s loud holler had cut him from his speech. The music of the tavern was blaring at an unhealthy volume but the shout was loud enough for both Jin and Kame to catch.

Jin looked down at Kame who only shrugged. “I’ll be right back, Pi’s calling.” Jin gave Kame a quick peck on the cheek before scurrying away. Kame nodded and watched as Jin meshed into the dancers and sparks of seizure-causing colors.

Kame sat back down and the bartender gave him a quizzed look. Kame frowned and asked for another pitcher of water. The bartender laughed at Kame’s lack of alcohol consumption and asked why he had even come if he didn’t plan on getting drunk. Kame ignored him.

“I think he’s taken the words to heart,” he said to the bartender.

The man with graying hair gave Kame a look that asked him to elaborate on his vague words. Kame picked up his glass of water and heaved it all down in one go. Then he asked for a beer.

The tender shrugged and did as he was told, handing the man his first beer. Kame stared at it for a minute before taking a quick sip. He made a face of disgust but drank the rest down anyway.

He hiccupped for half a minute before he laughed. “Told him to slow the relationship down,” he confessed, “looks like he’s taken it to heart. I’m kinda’ pisshed actually.” Kame slumped his head down against the counter and sighed. Thinking of Jin hurt every heart string.

Minutes later, Kame fluttered his eyes open and sat up. He saw Koki nearing him with a laughable wave and awkwardly shiny sneakers.

Kame wasn’t sure if they had always looked so sparkly under the heavy lighting or if it had been the small dose of alcohol taking effect. Either way, he chose to disregard the tiny feature and focus on his sweaty friend.

Koki stopped at last when he plopped down in the stool next to him, where Jin had been sitting a few minutes prior, and asked for a quick glass of beer. He looked at the half-empty glass of beer next to Kame and then looked back at the man; he continued to stare for a good few minutes.

Weary of his gaze, Kame barked an irritable “whuut?”

Koki finished his drink and then thanked the elderly man who was supplying them. He turned in the stool to face Kame. “Where’d Jin go?” he asked.

Kame nudged his head in the general direction of the dance floor where Jin and Yamashita were standing around. “Yamapi,” he said as unaffectedly as he could. With the alcohol in his system, it wasn’t hard.

Koki followed Kame’s gaze and saw Jin and Yamashita lounging around the back of the pub. They were a pretty good distance away from everything else and were speaking as if they were caught up in their own conversation; which wasn’t abnormal.

“Did Jin try something?” Koki asked suddenly, and Kame very slowly tore his stare from his cup and to Koki.

Koki’s face seemed to be shinning too – glistening with sweat from dancing, or Kame had been seeing things again. The younger man shut his eyes venomously and wished the faux images gone. He regretted even taking a mouthful of the alcoholic drink.

He then registered the question. Did Jin try something? Kame said nothing for the longest time; he didn’t plan on answering Koki’s question. Even if Jin had, what business was it of Koki’s?

Luckily for him, Nakamaru trailed in soon after, also asking for a quick drink and then sitting down next to his boyfriend.

Nakamaru noted the murky atmosphere and bit his lower lip unsurely. “What’re you guys talking about?” he didn’t know if he had wanted the answer, but he felt obligated to ask anyway.

“Something’s not right.” Koki shook his head and downed his beer. He then nudged his boyfriend gently and sighed. “Maru thinks so too.”

The conversation instantly clicked. Nakamaru turned to Koki. “Are we talking about Jin?”

Kame narrowed his eyes; why was it that all of Johnny’s Entertainment seemed to know about his love life? And more importantly, why was it that everyone seemed weary of Jin?

Kame asked for another glass and stared at the firm color mindlessly, angry at everyone for being so bias against his boyfriend. “What are yous implying?” he held the cup up to his lips. “That Jin’s…”

“We’re not implying anything, Kame.” Nakamaru interrupted quietly. “We’re just saying that Jin…he’s not himself.”

“He’sh tired.”

Unlike Nakamaru, Koki wasn’t as understanding or as patient. He shot up from his chair and his nostrils nearly flared in anger. “Shit! I feel like you’re covering for him!” he accused heatedly, voice streaming with duplicity.

Koki couldn’t help it – he could hardly believe his ears. After all he had heard – Kame was still choosing to trust Jin.

Of course Koki had no concrete evidence of anything, but his gut feeling told him that this relationship wasn’t going according to Kame’s agenda. He had come out to try and explain this to Kame but he could hardly bring himself up to speak of Jin without blowing up.

Kame shut his eyes angrily, allowing the alcohol to work its way down his throat, even if it did harshly burn his esophagus. At least it was a better feeling than knowing that his best friend was upset with him.

The man then swung a carelessly hand in the air and frowned irately. “Why can’t you just trust my decision?!” he half-whined, half-shouted, “Ohr are you shaying that it’s imp…” Kame hiccupped again, “impossible for Jin to ruv me?”

Koki sighed; trying to reason with his friend in this sort of state was nearly impossible. But the rapper tried to do so anyway. “Kame, you know that’s not what we—”

“Then whuut?” Kame challenged, pushing aside his third glass. “Whuut can you even shay thatid justify yoor wurds?!”

That was enough. Over the sound of the heated music, enthusiastic feet and crazily excited hollers, Koki had had enough. He dove in and grabbed the unsuspecting Kame’s elbow.

“Fucking shit, you’re an angry drunk. Come on, I’m taking you home.” He began pushing the younger man away in the general direction of the exit, but Kame refused to get out of his stool.

“No!” he yelped and undid Koki’s hold. “I want to stay!”

“I’m not leaving you unattended!” the man shot back.

Nakamaru, not liking the outcome of the heated conversation, placed a gentle hand on the rapper’s shoulders. “Koki…”

“Tha hell am I?! Five?!” Kame shouted at the top of his lungs, very slightly attracting the attention of a few strangers. Most were too busy dancing to take much notice. The music was a nice covering as well and drowned out most of the other sounds.

Koki, rather upset from Kame’s sudden outburst, decided that instead of backing down, he would grab a hold of his friend’s elbow. He did so and began dragging the struggling celebrity away from the alcohol.

He struggled and even swung a drunken fist in Koki’s direction. “I ’an take care of my own damn shelf!” Kame yanked himself free and Koki furrowed his eyebrows in distaste. “An’ I can make my own fushing decishions too, so just screw off!”

Koki snorted and allowed Kame to mindlessly fling himself about. It wasn’t that he was angry with Kame – that was impossible – Koki was simply frustrated by the sheer amount of trust Kame was willing to give Jin.

“Fine!” he shouted in return, turning his heavy back to Kame. “Let Jin have his way with you! See if I care!”

Anti-climax.

Koki began to walk off and hesitantly, Nakamaru ran after his boyfriend. The oldest KAT-TUN member looked back to see Kame beginning to wander off and he hurried to place a hand on Koki’s shoulders hoping to have him reconsider his actions.

“Koki, calm down,” he said, but the latter made no motion to slow down his pace. Nakamaru sighed in frustration at the rapper’s stubborn nature. “He’s just drunk!” Nakamaru continued to vouch for Kame’s drunkenly negative attitude.

Koki shook his head. “I know…I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” He sighed and then stopped once the two were further away from most of the music, the dancing, and the people. They remained in their imaginary cubicle of isolation near the back of the pub.

The rapper considered sitting down on one of the plushy chairs but changed his mind soon after another couple had already occupied the seats. He turned back to the silent Nakamaru with dejected eyes. “He’s so obliviously in love with Jin that it pisses me off.”

Nakamaru smiled. Koki was as see-through as plastic wrap. “Oh, really now?” he grinned teasingly and poked the man’s ribs. “Afraid Kame won’t have time for you anymore?”

“Geez.” Koki couldn’t help but to have his lips twitch up at the words. “Well, maybe. That and I don’t understand Jin’s intentions.” He said nothing further and only leaned against the dark wall, eyeing Nakamaru carefully.

“You know, Kame – be it drunk or not – has a point. Why can’t you just leave the two be? Or do you really think it’s impossible for Jin to love Kame too?”

Koki considered the inquiry. In the end, he was left without words.

Impossible was such a harsh word, he preferred thinking of it more as highly unlikely. But it wasn’t impossible. Not completely, anyway. He shook his head, “I…I…”

Stunned at the latter’s lack of speech, Nakamaru gasped. “Oh god, Koki…you really think it’s impossible?!”

“No!” The rapper quickly shot back in his defense. “No! It’s not that.” Koki thought the notion over. “Well, partially,” he admitted, “I mean…you and I both know that Jin’s as straight as a pencil.”

Nakamaru laughed and ruffled a few strands of Koki’s hair. “A bendy pencil.”

“Maru!”

Putting his hands up in a defensive manner, Nakamaru pretended to surrender to Koki’s will. “Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled and wrapped a hand around Koki’s and the two walked past Jin and Yamashita who seemed to be conversing.

They paid the two best friends no attention, and the only word in passing that could be heard clearly was Ikuta.

“Maybe you should have brought Ikuta along,” Jin mumbled under his breath as Nakamaru and Koki passed by, sparing the two a small passing glance.

He stood around Yamashita, who was sitting down one of the stiff bar chairs, allowing the callous wood to eagerly gnaw away at his back.

The leader of NEWS didn’t bother to meet Jin’s eyes and turned down to his already emptied glass of tonic. Jin looked at the drink and crumpled his lips together in utmost distaste; he was used to sitting with Kame who drank nothing more than water.

Yamashita laughed and took to his eleventh glass. “Maybe.”

Jin wasn’t much of an expert when it came to feelings or noticing the emotions of the others around him, but he was certain that his friend wasn’t happy.

He had known Yamashita for years and yet the only conclusion Jin could come to was that his friend wasn’t happy. Anyone within a meter radius of Yamashita could sense that.

Jin pursed his lips together and looked over longingly at where Kame sat. How much longer until he could go back to his isolated world with the latter? Jin banished the thought and turned back to Yamashita. He scratched the tip of his ear, feeling obligated to say something.

“Are you two going out?” he asked nonchalantly.

Yamashita’s tolerance with alcohol was surprisingly good and even with the unbearable amount of tonic down his system; his sentences were still clear and well-spoken. “I told you that there weren’t things to go places to begin with,” he stated simply. “We were never going out.”

“But you like him.”

“Do you like Kame?”

Jin nearly choked on something that hadn’t been in his mouth. “What does this have to do with anything?!” he barked back, a little defensive.

The latter seemed pleased with the outburst and only grinned drunkenly as he placed his head down on the counter. “When you answer that, I’ll answer you.” He burbled the words together so it took Jin a little while longer to understand what had been said.

When Jin finally understood the exchange of text he merely shrugged and the topic was dropped. With the barely-sober Yamashita and eager-to-leave Jin, it wasn’t that hard to forget what had been said altogether.

Not seated too far from where Taguchi, Shige and Koyama were dancing now, Ryo and Ueda looked like they were talking; in a civilized manner, nonetheless. Jin’s eyes beamed in glorification at the sight of his unofficial leader and best friend.

Ryo was making progress. At last. Jin kept in the cheer to himself and nudged the sleeping Yamashita, telling him to look. What Jin didn’t realize, however, was that that had been the direction his gawk had been fixated to since the moment he arrived.

“Ryo looks happy.” Jin pointed out happily. “He’s finally talking to Ueda! It’s about time, too. What do you think they’re talking about?”

Yamashita closed his eyes again and began seeping into a long, drunken sleep. “I don’t care.” The reply was quick, snippy and pretty rude for his naturally playful nature.

Jin grunted and mentally placed the blame on the alcohol. “Grumpy.”

Yamashita fluttered his eyes open for another second, traced his eyes to where Jin was looking and then tried to turn back.

The latter part of the job took more effort than he thought it would. He tried and tried to peel his gaze from Ryo, from Ueda, from the both of them who were laughing at some unfunny joke that had been passed, but in the end, Yamashita couldn’t. What the hell was wrong with him? He blamed the beer.

Jin, as slow as he was, caught on soon enough. He waved a confused hand in front of his friend’s face. “Why’re you starting at Ryo?” he asked hopelessly. The latter didn’t answer. “Pi?” Jin called again. “Pi?!”

Yamashita yawned, closed his eyes and had it not been for Jin’s lightning reflexes, would have fallen off his chair completely. “Oh for the love of—” Jin took a hold of Yamashita’s arms and attempted to pull the man back up. “Pi!”

The man was clearly unconscious and Jin groaned out loud now. “Kame’s waiting for me and you’re wasting my time with this.”

He still hadn’t understood the purpose of the man calling him over to begin with, but Jin stood the unconscious idol to his feet and began dragging him off in Ryo and Ueda’s direction. “You owe me,” he said.

“Yo! Nishikido!” Jin teased aloud and the startled Ryo nearly jumped from his seat. Ueda remained stone-faced and only offered a raised brow with regards to the body Jin had been lugging around.

Upon seeing that it was merely his two best friends, Ryo sighed. “Jin…” He began and then stood, excusing himself for a moment before grabbing Jin by the sleeve and speaking to him away from Ueda. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“You can confess your love after! Right now we have a little problem. Or well, a rather heavy one.” Yamashita, who has one hand slung over Jin’s shoulder, merely hiccupped in his sleep.

Ryo stood back, aghast. He had been close – oh so close to telling Ueda how he felt – and had it not been for this, he would have succeeded. Possibly. “Oh god. What do you want me to do?” he asked Jin.

“Take him home.”

“Jin! You do that!”

Jin shook his head. “Kame’s waiting for me.”

“Why should—” Ryo stopped mid-sentenced and lowered his tone of voice, “why should it matter?” Jin remained silent, unsure of how to answer.

Why should it have mattered?

“What you feel for him isn’t real Jin.” Ryo, accepting defeat, took the out cold Yamashita from Jin’s arms and into his own. “Or is it?” The listless body fit easily into his own body.

Jin snorted angrily and shook his head. “Of course it’s not!” The more I want to believe myself, the less I understand.

He stalked off in anger, disbelief, shock and most distinctively – worry. Worry that what Ryo said had been true. But it couldn’t have been. He was only out here tonight for one sole purpose: winning the bet.

“Keep your eyes on the prize and you won’t lose,” Jin whispered to himself as he neared where Kame was.

The man was out-cold, utterly wasted and in no better shape than Yamashita. Jin chuckled softly, unsure of what to say and sat down next to Kame.

“Kame, I’m taking you home.” He settled with alas, and Kame said nothing. Jin’s chuckles became louder and he took the smaller man into his arms. Had he always been this thin? Jin couldn’t remember.

Thinking about it now, he could hardly remember anything about Kame since that time. Jin made a face at the remembrance, shook his head and headed out. No one saw him with Kame in his arms and if they did, they said nothing about it.

For a split second, Jin’s eyes met with Shige’s but Jin disposed of the action.

Deciding that Kame’s house would be far too long of a journey for a drunken man, Jin took Kame home in a literal sense. Mainly because his house was far closer than Kame’s and that Jin was sure the younger man would be able to hold off puking until they reached their destination.

Surprisingly, the drunken Kame didn’t vomit. Once Jin placed him on the couch of his living room, he didn’t do much else at all.

Jin then ventured off into the kitchen to prepare the man a nice glass of water and then instruct him to sleep. Sleep should have been the least of Jin’s worries, but it wasn’t. Kame was drunk, alone and in his living room. With his memory, the man would hardly be able to remember what had happened.

Jin shook his head. That wouldn’t be right.

With that last thought, Jin re-entered the living room with a glass of water in hand. Kame was awake now, not fully, but enough to be able to sit up. Jin walked over to him and handed him the glass. Kame took it cautiously and Jin sat down next to the man.

Kame, who to Jin’s knowledge was still under the influence, began to chuckle hoarsely. He mumbled incoherent sentences that Jin could not decipher exactly and then shoved the glass aside, flinging himself into the startled Jin’s arms.

Jin blinked in a befuddled confusion. It wasn’t that the sudden warmth against him didn’t feel nice – of course it did – but he was more bemused than anything else.

Jin’s breathing picked up its pace as he tackled Kame onto his back. Jin knew where this was leading. What he didn’t know was whether it would be lead him to heaven…or to hell.

“Jin, I love you.” Kame mouthed the words as his lips coincidentally brushed against the nape of Jin’s ear. The latter felt a pleasurable sensation run down the ends of his spine, but he refused to acknowledge it.

Kame loved him? As in loved him loved him?

In the end, all Jin could do was whisper a huskily low, “I know…” even though he hadn’t known it at all.

If things continued on in the same manner, Jin was sure he would no longer be able to contain himself from his desires. Kame was practically inviting to do whatever he wished with him.

At this rate, he could win. Jin would win.

His breathing picked up its unsteady pace and Jin was beginning to disbelief Kame’s supposed lack of expertise.

He knew just where to touch, how hard to press and exactly what to say to leave the disoriented Jin wanting more. Kame feverishly licked the convex outing of Jin’s right ear and then continued to tease the poor man mercilessly.

“Take me, Jin.” Kame muttered hoarsely, as if hardly knowing what he was saying on his own. “I want you to take me.” He repeated and the words barely made their way into Jin’s mind when he began to flush uncontrollably.

Jin couldn’t take it anymore. He needed release and he needed it now or else the man would be driven mad with lust. Tempted, Jin bit down on his lower lip to suppress a moan and any other taunting thought that may have followed. He could win.

He could win – he was going to win. Now, all he needed to do was to through away any sense of humanity he had left in him, pull off the rest of Kame’s trousers and be finished with the deed. Jin harshly bit into the skin of his lower lip. It was now or never.

But then, there it was again. The invisible barrier Kame had built for himself. But he was drunk and could hardly collect his bearings, much less understand his whereabouts. He was completely open to anything and that was exactly how Jin should have wanted it.

Kame wrapped his hands around Jin’s bent neck in a tight manner. Jin shut his eyes and did what he could do to keep his thought anywhere but what was waking between his legs. He couldn’t. In the end, he couldn’t.

Jin pried himself from Kame’s lock and then up from the sofa. His breathing was heavy and deranged to the point Jin could barely recognize his own voice.

Kame, oblivious to all around him, yawned and wrapped his arms around himself. His eyes fell into line and eventually he fell asleep.

Jin stood up and dashed into his bathroom. He threw open the sink for the silence was deafening and scrambled to get the shower started. He needed a shower. A nice, long, cold shower. A really cold shower.

His head hurt. Or was it his heart? Jin wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to be sure. Disregarding all else at that moment, Jin stepped into the cold shower, clothes on, and allowed the harsh droplets of water to cease him.

His breathing was unsteady and uneasy but Jin was certain that they would return to normal given time. He would return to normal, given time.

After all, what he was feeling wasn’t real.

Feelings that should have been there weren’t. The only feelings that had been present inside Jin were those of stubborn victory. Even if there were feelings…they weren’t real.

These feelings…weren’t they a game?

247 lbs of Love: The Liar’s Game: Sixth Lie

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:50:57 GMT

Three simple rules, thirty short days

Title: 247 lbs of Love: The Liar’s Game
Summary: Jin, Yamashita and Ryo made a bet that Jin couldn’t get into Kame’s pants within a month. Stubbornly, Jin accepted the challenge; what he couldn’t accept were the feelings that came along with it. After all, the third rule was that it was Kame’s job to fall in love; not his
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairings: Akame (main) [Jin/Kame], mentions of Ryoda [Ryo/Ueda] and Tomapi [Yamashita/Toma]
Other Characters: KAT-TUN, Ryo, Yamashita
Content: Romance, drama, light humor, inevitable angst, major Kokame friendship, slightly cruel plot?
Author: Nerd-san
Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with Johnny Entertainment

247 lbs of Love: The Liar’s Game: Sixth Lie

The Liar’s Game: Sixth Lie
Rule 1: No one is to know about any of this being a game
Rule 2: If anyone is to find out about the lies, the game is over
Rule 3: You, by no means, are to fall in love with your victim

“Jin, you look like shit.”

Bluntly, Jin ignored Koki’s remark as he made his way into the recording studio. Upon realizing that he was being ignored, Koki raised an eyebrow in distaste. Jin pushed his way past the rapper and then collapsed onto a nearby bench.

Jin landed with a defaulted thump while Koki and Ueda shared a glance of curiosity. Ueda broke it off after Koki’s genuine look of helplessness by shrugging and joining Taguchi.

Koki, however, only peeked from Jin – who was practically sleeping on the couch – to Kame, who was too absorbed in reading the latest Cartoon KAT-TUN script to take much notice to anything else.

The manager had stepped out for a second and this left KAT-TUN in the room by themselves. They wouldn’t have minded, either, had it not been for the drearily tense atmosphere their lead singers had brought with them.

Kame seemed to be brooding, carelessly slicking through pages of the script without concern while Jin, who had just arrived with bags under his eyes, lay virtually motionless.

Taguchi didn’t seem mindful of any of this, randomly chatting up a storm while Nakamaru, who understood that something was wrong, aided his friend in an attempt to lift the darkening atmosphere.

Five minutes…ten minutes, Koki had lost track. He ran an agitated finger through his short hair and stood up from his spot and began marching over to Kame. At the same time, the manager had come back into the room, face red after the awkwardly long argument. He asked the men to take to the practice stage in preparation for their upcoming concert.

By the time Koki looked back at his friend, he had already been gone and walking towards the stage. Koki sighed. Kame was avoiding him and it was straightforwardly obvious.

KAT-TUN went over a few songs but they were anything but perfect. Jin sounded like something had just died in his throat and Kame was not far off Jin’s mark.

Koki didn’t understand if the manager had been too busy thinking of their wardrobe issue that he couldn’t hear the toneless voices, or if he had been merely ignoring the fact that his lead singers were half-dead.

After their third song had come to a painful end, Koki took off the stage and for the manager who had been standing close to the open curtains. “Sir!” Koki called, “would you mind it if we took five?”

The older man regarded Koki mindfully, still in some sort of daze as he shooed the rapper off with a weary hand. Koki shouted back his thanks as KAT-TUN began disbanding off the stage and off to their own business.

Jin wandered off too, all but quietly. He cursed out loud when he bumped into one of the stage cameras and rubbed his weary eyes with a reluctant sigh.

He looked at Koki for a minute and Koki gave him a lopsided grin in return, trying to conceal his amusement. Jin rolled his eyes as he waved Koki off and headed for the locker room. The movement was done just in time too; Koki turned back to see Kame trying to meander away from behind.

“Not you,” Koki grabbed his best friend’s arm and began yanking him away in the general direction of the studio. “I’m not finished with you.” Kame seemed to have known this was coming and hardly put up a fight.

“Koki, let me go.” He grunted halfheartedly, allowing Koki to drag him away. Koki wasn’t forceful and Kame wasn’t unwilling so the journey from their practice room and into a bland hallway in the Jimusho didn’t take long.

“I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s up with you and the sleepwalking wonder over there.” Koki admitted hastily as he opened the door to KAT-TUN’s dressing room. Asides Koki’s boyfriend who seemed to be on his way out, the room was empty.

Kame sat down on one of the benches and folded his arms across his chest defiantly. “Nothing’s going on,” he lied.

Koki, who didn’t believe Kame for a second, sat down beside the younger man. “Did you two get into a fight?” he chose his words carefully as not to upset the latter.

Kame frowned anyway. He didn’t know if he and Jin had gotten into a fight. They hadn’t spoken to each other or about what had happened. How was Kame supposed to know if he and Jin were fighting or not? It wasn’t like they were mad at each other, or seething down each other’s throats. “No.”

Koki leaned against the wall and smiled a little. Kame was the worst possible liar. “You got into a fight didn’t you?” he grinned toothily and nudged the smaller figure with a soft fist.

Kame sighed. There was never a point in trying to argue with the latter. The two sat in their comfortable quiet for a few minutes before Kame began to fiddle around with his fingers nervously.

He knew that Koki was more in-tuned to the world of relationships than he was, and being his best friend, Kame found no reason to further deny his situation. He took a deep breath, chastising himself about fearing over nothing. “Koki…” The rapper glanced sideways at Kame.

“You…you and Nakamaru are going out…” Kame looked down, almost embarrassed, “…so please don’t laugh.”

Koki, now curious, nodded. “Of course I won’t. What is it?”

Kame took another deep breath before steadily exhaling. He made certain that no one else was in the room and slowly; Koki followed his friend’s wandering eyes. When Kame was dead certain that no one else could hear his words, he spoke. “You guys…hold hands and stuff right?”

Koki, not understanding the hidden undertone in Kame’s question, only nodded. “…yeah.”

“And kiss?”

“…yeah.”

“How often do you have sex?”

Koki began choking on something he hadn’t even had in his mouth. “W-What?!” Too stunned to say anything further, Koki bounced out of his seat and jolted upwards.

Over the years, Koki had credited himself for knowing Kame pretty damn well. Well enough to the point where he could almost predict what the man would say next. This time, however, was another case. Of all the things Kame could have asked, Koki had not expected this.

His heart pace slowed and he turned back to the red, shaking figure that was once his friend. “K-Kame what the hell?!” He took in a deep inhale of breath, red himself, and after a few awkward minutes, sat back down.

He laughed a little, rubbing an embarrassed hand across the back of his neck. “Jesus, warn a person!” Kame shook his head. He didn’t mean for the words to come out so suddenly, so carelessly. He tried to explain himself, but all he succeeded in doing was further confusing himself and the rapper.

“I-It’s just that Jin…I think Jin wants to…and then I think that I should because we’re going out!” He admitted heatedly, throwing his hands in the air to emphasize his point.

In the end, he tangled all ten of his fingers into his hair and tugged on the strands. Koki tried to calm him down, but the man was far too engrossed in his words to head Koki’s warning.

“I mean, it’s not like I don’t want to! I do! It’s just that…Jin…Jin’s so impatient and experienced that it scares me.”

Koki, finally understanding where Kame was coming from, gaped in horror. Furious, he untangled Kame’s fingers and crushed the man’s smaller hand within his own. “Is Jin hounding you for sex?!” he shouted, a little too loud for his own good.

Koki couldn’t help himself; something in Jin’s actions seemed untrue, planned even. And Koki thought that he was the only one who had thought this; but Ueda had too. Kame on the other hand, decided to fully trust the man. Koki didn’t blame him. But no matter how happy he was for his friend, he still refused to accept Jin’s sincerity.

Kame felt himself becoming far more flushed and he began waving his hands in front of his face as a sort of fan. “No!” he shouted in Jin’s defense. Koki gave him the you’re-lying-and-it’s-pretty-damn-obvious look. Kame’s flush deepened and he inwardly cursed his fair skin.

Confusion and uncertainty was getting the better of him and Kame felt himself beginning to hyperventilate. Koki placed a hand on the man’s back to calm him down. He narrowed his eyes at nothing in particular as he digested the new information. So he and Ueda’s suspicions had been partially correct.

Even still, Koki couldn’t be sure. Looking down at the befuddled man beside him, Koki did the only thing he could. “Kame, listen,” he began, “don’t do something you’re not ready for. If Jin loves you, he’ll wait.”

“I…I guess you’re right.” Kame nodded a little. A thought struck through him for a second as he quickly restructured his beliefs. “But what if—”

“Not buts.” Koki interrupted.

He reached into his bag and pulled out a canned tea he had bought for himself earlier. He placed it in Kame’s hands. “Here, cheer up.” Kame took the can with a smile and held it in his hands for a second.

Koki turned his gaze to the bland ceiling before an idea came to mind. “Let’s go out later; just me and you.” He said. “There’s this new club Nakamaru and I were meaning to check out.”

Kame looked back at him, scrutinizing his friend’s facial features as Koki scratched his cheek with a single finger. “On second thought, let’s invite Jin too. You’re going to have to face him eventually.”

Kame carefully opened the can. “It’s been a while since we all went somewhere,” he muttered, looking down at the mud-colored contents.

“Yeah. We’ll bring along Ueda and Taguchi too. So what do you say?”

Kame nodded happily, temporarily forgetting about his problems. “Sounds like a plan.” Koki flashed him a small grin and then placed a hand on Kame’s shoulder. They remained like that for a few minutes, simply basking in the presence of one another before Koki stood up.

“I’m going to go and tell the others now!” Kame smiled. He was thankful for Koki’s company. Koki watched his friend simply sit where he was, sipping away at the tea. He placed a haughty arm on his hip and then began to try and pry Kame off the seat.

“Go tell Jin!” he barked.

Kame gaped; how was he supposed to look Jin in the eyes anymore? The man had practically seen him in his underwear! “E-Eh?!” he whined, hoping Koki would understand. “Why do I have to be the one to tell Jin?!”

“You’re going out!” Koki shot back, wrapping his arms around Kame’s waist in an attempt to lift him up and drag him towards the door. He succeeded, too, and Kame stood although heavily leaning on his friend. “Go to it!”

Kame rolled his eyes once Koki released him. “You’re such a doting mother.”

“Mother?!” Koki gasped, although completely aware of the fact. Kame laughed and nodded, throwing the can into the garbage can while Koki chased after him. Kame saw him coming and began to run, but Koki was too fast. “Come here, you—”

Koki tackled him and the two fell onto the floor in a heap of tangled legs and arms. Koki positioned himself on top of Kame, who was lying on his stomach and began outstretching his cheeks. Kame laughed until he felt tears spilling over the sides of his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he howled.

From his spot, Kame could hardly see a thing, but what he did spot was the black shoes that made their way into the room. Jin’s shoes, he knew.

Jin smiled a little, somehow amused from the sight. “Am I interrupting something?” the question was placed casually. Far too casually, in Koki’s opinion.

Koki shot Kame the here’s-your-chance look and Kame nodded, straightening himself as the older man stood up from on top of him.

Bemused, Jin looked at Kame, trying to decipher his words. “Um…we’re going somewhere later today. All of us. So…if you’d like to come.” He still refused to give the man any form of eye-contact.

Jin frowned. “Kame, you’re avoiding me.”

“You’re no better!”the younger man shot back.

Jin raised his hands in defeat. “Okay, okay,” he said, “we’ve both been avoiding each other. So let’s stop it. I want to be with you and I can only assume you want to be with me—”

Jin paused his speech and Kame nodded, “—so if we can overcome this, we’ll just be better paving our way for the future.”

Jin scratched his head and let out a small chortle. “What I’m trying to say is that if this is going to work, we need to…” trust each other, Jin finished mentally. But he could hardly bring himself to speak the words. What would be the point?

Kame didn’t mind this as he bit down on his lower lip. “Um…are we supposed to talk about it?” he asked, confused. Jin looked lost. “Talk. Aren’t we supposed to talk?” Kame repeated. “Or are we just going to pretend everything’s fine?”

Jin furrowed his brows in an obvious distaste. “We’re not girls.” He pointed out readily. “No point in talking; what’s done is done.”

“But I think…I think you’re rushing into things, Jin. Can we…slow down?” Kame took a deep breath and Jin found himself listening. The more he was with Kame, the more Kame made him want to listen.

Jin didn’t quite understand the feeling, but he figured it to be mutual. He and Kame weren’t the best of friends – not anymore – but to an extent they were still friends. So Jin found this notion as nothing more than a natural instinct of friendship.

“I want to take things slowly first.” Jin looked back at Kame in puzzlement. “I mean! I’ve never really been in a relationship like this so I wouldn’t know what to do. I want to…I want—”

Jin hugged Kame. Kame, startled by the sudden act of intimacy immediately stiffened. Jin smiled a little at the expected movement, running a lean finger through Kame’s hair. “Shhh, Kame I get it. I’m sorry okay?” he whispered in the man’s ear. “We’ll take things a lot slower from now on.”

Jin didn’t know if he was telling the truth or not. A part of him thought he was; hell, a large part of him told him he was, but at the same time there was still the thought of deceit nipping away at the back of his mind.

He didn’t love Kame and Kame didn’t love him. To his knowledge, Kame liked him – but that was it. Jin cleared any and all thoughts away. This was anything but the time.

He and Kame were friends, in a sense, perhaps he would even laugh about the whole ordeal someday. Jin dearly hoped he would. Jin knew he probably wouldn’t. He was always one to get swept away in competition – Jin couldn’t help it; it was who he was.

In hopes of making light of his predicament, Jin took a strand of Kame’s chocolate-colored hair, delicately placing it behind his ear and tracing the outline of his lips with a shaking finger. Jin looked down at his hand in a disgusted awe. He was shaking? Because of Kame? This wasn’t part of the agreement.

Nevertheless, Jin chose to ignore the shift and watched as Kame closed his eyes and slightly titled his head for Jin’s next action. Jin closed his own eyes and was about to settle for kissing the man, if it hadn’t been for the forgotten presence in the room.

Koki coughed aloud at the public display of affection. “Well if the two lovebirds are finished, I’m off to NEWS’ dressing room to ask if they’d like to come as well.” Kame blushed as if just remembering his friend and Jin only gave an unaffected nod.

“If the manager starts without me, tell ’im I’ll be right back!” Koki called slowly, walking out of the room in hopes of giving the couple their privacy.

Once Koki closed the door behind him, Jin grinned and turned back to the shorter man. “Now where were we?” he smirked, tracing the bottom of Kame’s lips with his own.

Kame laughed and wrapped his hands around Jin’s neck. If there was ever such a thing as miracles, then this should have been classified as one; or at least that was Kame’s thought.

Two years ago, he had ended his friendship with Jin because Jin had been disgusted by his confession. Two years later, they were in love. At least they were in Kame’s mind.

“Jesus Jin, not there! I-Idiot…”

Koki ignored the yelps that engulfed the room as he shut the door and began his decent towards NEWS’ room on the first floor. He had been weary of Jin, but now some of the doubt he held was beginning to lift. Jin seemed sincere enough.

The way he looked at Kame…the way he held the man…it all looked real. Koki laughed a little at his own doubt as he neared NEWS’ change room. The door was closed, but the voices in the room were distinctly those of Jin’s best friends.

“Virgin?!” the voice was higher pitched and loud. “Seriously?!”

Koki, not wanting to eavesdrop on such a personal conversation, began to walk away. At least, that was his first intention. His feet remained rooted to their spot just outside the room.

“Oh fuck, you’ve got to be kidding me, Ryo.” Yamashita’s voice, Koki was certain now. “Please tell me you’re kidding!”

Koki felt some sort of anger bubbling inside of him but he kept silent, leaning against the wall in hopes of hearing more. He shouldn’t have been there – he shouldn’t have and he knew it – but his human curiosity got the better of him.

“Ryo!” the same shrill scream.

“I’m not.” Koki closed his eyes and he could practically imagine Ryo’s sullen face as he gave his reply. “At least that’s what he said.”

“Shit.”

There was more silence, a sigh, and then twice as much silence. Feet were shuffling – Koki could see their shadows from the floor – and anxiety was clearly present. “That means he’s going to lose, right?”

“I don’t know…he seemed pretty willing even if…”

“Seriously?” Yamashita’s voice stopped sounding for a minute. “Damn it.” This was followed by an even greater amount of silence.

Ryo exhaled noisily. “There’s still another twenty days. We’ll see how it goes.”

An uneasy pause was followed by Ryo’s voice again, only this time it was in a softer tone. Koki was sure that one incorrect move would be able to shatter a voice that fragile. “I thought you’d want to put a stop to this,” Koki had to strain his ears to hear the hushed whimper.

Yamashita snorted. “Why would I want to do that?” As if he were putting up a mere façade, he stilled for a moment. “Do…do you?” he asked the latter, “because if you do, then I—”

“N-No. It’s fine.”

Koki’s heart began to pick up speed. He felt something off, something strangely out of equilibrium. Yamashita and Ryo were Jin’s best friends. Jin was acting weird. Jin was harrying Kame for sex. Yamashita and Ryo were talking about some sort of virgin.

Koki shook his head. The story would fit had it not been for two key reasons. Firstly, there would be no motive behind any of it – at least none that he could think of. And secondly, back there in their dressing room, Jin actually sounded earnest. Really earnest.

Just as Koki was about to go into detail with his analysis, a sudden shriek caught him off-guard. It was quite clearly Yamashita’s naturally animated voice. “Move your hand, idiot; you’re touching me!” he exclaimed.

Koki was pulled out of his quiet state of mind and as he registered the words, blushed a deep scarlet. Maybe he shouldn’t have really been there. He heard Ryo’s gasp and the sound of scuffling feet. “What?! Why would I want to touch you?!”

Yamashita’s laughter followed. “That’s right; you’d only want to touch Ueda.”

“Shut up!”

Koki heard more shuffling feet nearing the door and then felt a body slam against a nearby wall. There was a short strangled scream and then more shuffling.

“Get your fat ass back here!”

“My ass is not fat, jerk!” There was a clump followed by a large clunk sound, and possibly the two bodies had mercilessly fallen to the ground; Koki couldn’t be too sure. He stood where he was and sucked in a breath, afraid to move.

A few still moments of silence passed as Koki now placed a hand on the door knob, lightly excusing himself for the intrusion as he pushed the door open.

“Help! Ryo’s sexually abusing me!”

“Shut up! I am not!”

Koki choked at the sight. Yamashita’s back was to the ground, head cocked to the side, legs wrapped around the latter’s body as Ryo, who was on top of the man, tried to scurry away from the hold.

“Err…” Koki, embarrassed for the both of them, mumbled under his breath.

Ryo’s eyes snapped wide open, and even though his hands were on either side of Yamashita’s body, he felt the need to try to get up. “Tanaka!” he howled in sheer shock.

Koki couldn’t help but to let out an amused chuckle at the Osaka man’s embarrassment as he tried to get away from his friend. But the latter’s hold was too tight and Ryo only succeeded in furthering the awkwardly suggestive position.

Yamashita, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind the dilemma at the slightest. He cocked his head back to Koki, which from his position looked painful. “Yo!” he grinned.

Koki scratched the back of his neck in confusion. Yamashita and Ryo didn’t look like liars; they looked merely like friends who were having an oddly good time with one another; sort of like him and Kame.

Koki didn’t know why, but he disregarded their earlier conversation and asked, “Need me to come back at another time?” this was said with a large grin that suggested more than just what was just spoken and Ryo bristled.

“No!” he shot back, still desperately trying to latch himself from Yamashita.

“Yes!” Yamashita countered back, grabbing Ryo’s hands with his own and holding the man steady.

Either Ryo had given up trying to get away or he had given into the latter altogether because he sighed and stopped moving. Yamashita smiled pleasantly at the lack of motion and then added, “We were just finishing up here, ne Ryo-chan?”

“We never started anything so there’s nothing to be finishing!”

Koki took a hand and pressed it against the side of his neck as he slowly rubbed the numb skin. He chose to ignore the argument. “KAT-TUN’s going out tonight, I was just wondering if you guys’d like to come along,” he said modestly.

Yamashita looked truly happy to hear the news as his ears perked up. “Eh?! Really?! Everyone?!” Koki nodded and watched as the man let go of Ryo’s hands. “We’ll go!” Ryo, whose hands were no longer bound to his friend, kept them on either side of Yamashita’s body.

Seeing as the latter’s legs were still tightly latched around his waist, he was without a choice. But still, he managed to shout “h-hey, I didn’t say I would!” his voice was a little raspy, but it still held the same air of angered indifference.

“Will Ueda be there?” Yamashita suddenly blurted and Koki looked back at the man. Ryo liking Ueda wasn’t much of a secret and almost everyone at Johnny’s knew about it – asides Ueda himself.

Sometimes Koki had convinced himself that Ueda did know and that he merely chose to ignore the fact. But sometimes the man truly seemed incapable of realizing Ryo’s awkward feelings.

“Uh, yeah.” Koki finally answered, unsure of what to say.

Yamashita laughed and poked Ryo’s ribs. The squeamish man retracted and squirmed against Yamashita, lightly cursing him for touching him where he shouldn’t have. “See? What reason is there not to go?”

Ryo growled and placed a protective hand above his ribcage to avoid any further surprises from his friend. “Shut it Pi before I shut it for you.”

Koki turned to his heels. He needed to get back and ask Kame a few things before the two bands went out drinking. He was also beginning to second-guess his choice of going out for hard alcohol knowing that Kame’s tolerance levels were well below average.

He shook his head. He could trust Jin. And Yamashita. And Ryo. “I…I’ll be going now.”

“Look, you scared him away!” Yamashita whined, slowly releasing his viper hold on Ryo by lowering his legs. Ryo, who looked like he was in his own world, didn’t get up but only looked up at Koki.

“Hey, Tanaka,” he said. “Kamenashi…will Kamenashi be there?”

“Huh? Kame?” Koki didn’t understand what the point of asking was. Ryo and Kame talked on the rare occasion, but that was it. Koki answered nonetheless. “Yeah, of course.”

Ryo nodded and looked back down. “Ah…okay.” Guilt. Was there some form of guilt in his eyes? Koki didn’t say anything and he forced himself to turn away. Why would Ryo feel guilty? Why would he ask about Kame?

Koki, more confused than when he had first arrived, decided it would be best to head back before KAT-TUN’s manager began to raise hell for the missing rapper. “I’m…going to leave you two at it…I’ve got to head back. Tell the rest of NEWS for me, will you?”

Yamashita nodded and shouted back a bubbly “okay!” whilst Ryo said nothing, continuing to stare at nothing in particular. He didn’t get off Yamashita and scold him for his rash actions as he usually would. Ryo just stayed where he was. Yamashita asked him what the matter was.

“Kamenashi’s going to be there.” Ryo stated plainly.

Yamashita thought it over. Ryo’s emotions were always so clear to him; he didn’t know why the others couldn’t see what he had. And Ryo was clearly feeling responsible for something Yamashita thought to be out of his reach to stop. NEWS’ leader shook his head. If they were going to win, there was no room for guilt.

He needed to get Ryo’s mind off of it – off of everything. So Yamashita did the only thing he could think of at the moment in his current position. He grabbed the sides of Ryo’s face rather roughly and pulled him down for an abrupt kiss.

Ryo stiffened out of shock. He kept his eyes wide open but didn’t squat the latter’s face away. Ryo didn’t feel anything – asides Yamashita’s lips – and he figured his friend hadn’t either. It was also awkward. Comforting, too, but awkward.

When Yamashita finally pulled away he looked up at Ryo and threw him his famous lopsided grin. Ryo felt the heat rushing to his face as he darted his eyes anywhere but at the man underneath. “Idiot! What was that for?!” he gasped out of shock after what seemed like forever.

Yamashita shrugged wiggled from underneath Ryo. “I just felt like it.”

Ryo couldn’t help but to chuckle at the stupidity as he sat upright. “Sometimes you’re too honest,” he said.

Yamashita thought the compliment to be funny. He laughed, “Really?”

Ryo didn’t make any motion to wipe his mouth clear of Yamashita’s cherry chapstick but he still refused to stoop to his friend’s level. “Yes! You don’t say stuff like that! You keep it to yourself.”

“So you wouldn’t want to kiss me?!” it was a joke, but the man couldn’t tell if there had been any truth behind the question. He didn’t understand why, either. Jin was the liar; not him.

“No!”

“Why not?!” The younger man turned until he was eye-level with Ryo.

Ryo abruptly turned away. Since when had being with Yamashita been so awkward? “Just because!” he blurted back and just at that moment, the door swung open revealing a rather tired looking Jin.

He crept in the room slowly and took one look at his two friends. Ryo was heading towards the door, his hand almost on the knob whilst Yamashita lagged behind, seemingly brooding about something. Jin knew it wasn’t the time, but he asked “what’re you guys doing?” anyway.

No reply came from either of the NEWS members, leaving Jin standing without as much as an explanation. Ryo sighed as he pushed his way past Jin and headed out of NEWS’ room. “Play with fire and you’re sure to get burnt, Jin.” He mumbled without turning back.

Jin stood where he was and then looked at Yamashita. Yamashita sat by himself now, almost unaware of Jin’s presence for whatever reason. Jin thought of Kame. He shouldn’t have, because all of a sudden he could picture Kame’s smile. For a reason beyond his mind’s capacity – it made Jin grin. But there was no time for that.

Time was running out; he was ten days into the bet with minimal progress. At this rate, his friends would reign victorious. Jin wouldn’t allow that. He shoved the thought of Kame aside and cackled, leaning against the doorframe.

“I don’t plan on getting burnt,” Jin laughed to himself, “so I’ll play with as much fire as I’d like.”

From this point on, everything was supposed to be a game.

247 lbs of Love: The Liar’s Game: Fifth Lie

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 04:43:43 GMT

Three simple rules, thirty short days

247 lbs of Love: The Liar’s Game: Fifth Lie

The Liar’s Game: Fifth Lie
Rule 1: No one is to know about any of this being a game
Rule 2: If anyone is to find out about the lies, the game is over
Rule 3: You, by no means, are to fall in love with your victim

“Ew!”

Rejection, Kame thought. Complete and flat-out rejection.

“K-Kame you’re kidding me! That’s disgusting!”

That’s disgusting. Kame didn’t know what to say. Maybe Jin was right.

Startled, Kame snapped out of his thoughts, blinking twice to take in his weary surroundings. His breathing steadied slowly and he shut his eyes tightly to get rid of the image of Jin from his mind.

That was two years ago. He shouldn’t be worrying about that. Instead, Kame contemplated over the events of the previous week. Out of the blue, Jin had confessed to liking him.

It was a shock for Kame – how couldn’t it have been? For years, more than years, he had been lusting after the man. Only Koki knew of this, however. And only Koki knew of his confession to Jin, two years earlier.

But it was only Jin and Kame who knew the outcome of Kame’s brave words.

What was the point of being brave, Kame thought, if it had only led to heartache? Quietly, Kame had buried the incident in the back of his mind and never thought of it again. On occasion, he would dream of the event. Only, in his dreams the outcome would always vary.

When Jin voiced his words that day, they had been purely instinctive. When Jin realized what he had said, he told Kame that he didn’t mean it. That was how Kame knew Jin meant what he said. That was why Kame had promised himself that he would never fall in love with someone else again.

He had kept his promise to himself, too. At least, to an extent. He had fallen in love with Jin again. But as he liked to put it – he had never stopped loving Jin to begin with.

Kame would still sneak glances of the older man when he was certain that he wasn’t looking. It was as if he was taking pictures of the man with his eyes. He hadn’t told anyone this, but Koki had his ways of forcing it out of him.

Sometimes, Kame resented his best friend’s slick tactics to get him to open up. He didn’t mind it at the slightest at most times, though. It was as if Koki was an omnipotent presence to Kame and Kame liked it like that. It was as if his friend was with him all the time.

Kame was also certain that in his own way, Koki had already known what had happened at the airport that time, but kept it to himself. Thoughts left aside for a second, Kame sighed.

He sat by himself on the steps to the public library, waiting for Jin. It had been a week since Jin had agreed to give the relationship a try, or rather the one who had initiated the relationship, but he was still nowhere to be found.

Kame frowned, looking down at his wristwatch. He had come early, but he thought that Jin would as well, seeing as he had come early to their last dinner. He sighed again, rubbing his pale hands together to conduct friction and warm up his senses.

Koki, along with Ueda, had told him that if Jin was as much as five minutes late – he should leave. His two friends had told him this before he left the studio earlier in the day, but all Kame did was laugh at their upset words.

He looked at his watch again. Jin was almost ten minutes late now, but he chose to write it off.

Kame considered calling Jin and asking where he was and if he had changed the meeting place without his knowledge, but Kame couldn’t bring himself to do so. Their relationship had only started – he didn’t want it to end already.

“He’s late,” Kame muttered to himself as he took a bored elbow and placed it on his knee, using the fist of his hand to place his cheek. He sighed, long and wearily. Jin was very late. Even for Jin, twenty minutes was unreasonable.

His phone began to go off and Kame’s face lifted cheerfully. He hurried into his pocket and pulled out the phone. His face fell however, once he saw Koki’s number on the caller ID. He allowed it to ring, not wanting to go through the lecture his friend had made up if Jin were late.

For some reason, Koki didn’t trust Jin’s intent. As much as he wanted Akame back he told Kame that Jin’s actions were sudden and not to be trusted. That day, for the first time, Kame told Koki off.

Koki meant well. Koki always meant well. And Kame knew this. But he couldn’t – he wouldn’t – tolerate someone distrusting Jin like that. Kame told Koki that Jin was trustable; dependable.

If Kame picked up the phone now, he knew Koki would question that and Kame would have nothing to say in Jin’s defense. Kame made a face as he switched his phone off.

Growing restless, Kame began to wonder if Jin had remembered that they had scheduled their first date to today. But then again, how couldn’t he have remembered? They had parted from the studio in the afternoon and agreed to meet back up during the late evening.

Finally giving up, Kame stood. It wasn’t a cold day out, and his jacket was a lot lighter than it normally would have been, but that still didn’t help him lessen the load of the sight in front of him.

At least Jin was here, Kame thought. But he wasn’t alone.

In fact, Kame was sure that Jin couldn’t see him. His boyfriend was with some girl Kame wasn’t able to put a name to and they stood rather closely together at the bus stop. Jin watched her as she got on and then waved her off.

Disbelief ran through Kame. That moment, the moment of incredulity, of doubt and self-consciousness was the worst. He and Jin had only started going out. “Am I…” Kame croaked out through his voice box, “…am I being dumped already?

At that time my heart was telling me…you’re such a liar, Jin.

Jin spotted Kame. Kame, too shocked to move, remained rooted to his spot. Was he supposed to see that? Or was he supposed to pretend like it was nothing? In the end, Kame said nothing – did nothing – and only waited for Jin to cross the street, eagerly running toward him.

“Sorry I’m late!” he called, running at top speed towards the waiting Kame. Jin laughed and placed a hand on Kame’s stiff shoulder. “Did you wait long?”

“You forgot.” Kame bluntly accused. Jin frowned at Kame’s harsh tone.

“I didn’t. How could I forget our first official date?”

“Don’t think I didn’t see you, Jin.” Kame continued on, and he knew that his sentences were growing dim and a tad abrupt. He couldn’t help himself. “Waving off some girl, standing next to her, practically holding hands…don’t think I didn’t see, Jin.”

Jin’s frown creased as he made a grab for Kame’s hand. Kame snatched it back and bit his tongue to keep down the tears that threatened to surface. Perhaps it would have been better if he had never come out of his shell of seclusion.

“Kame, that was my cousin.” Jin urged and Kame decided to turn to Jin with a questioning look. “She was just helping me pick something out.” His voice was steady and calm mixed in with a sense of worry as he stuck a bag out in front of Kame. “Here.” Jin said.

Kame blinked, only now taking in the fact that Jin had brought a bag along with him.

“W-What is this?” Kame asked curiously, taking the bag with caution. Was it another present? He couldn’t believe it. Jin was showering him with gifts and yet, Kame could hardly give him a thing in return.

“It’s the reason I was late.” Jin clarified timidly, almost embarrassed at being caught giving a present to his boyfriend. “I wanted it to be a surprise, but…”

Kame sat back down on the steps as Jin slowly followed behind in his movements. As carefully as possible, Kame undid the wrappings on the bag. It was February and rather late for a Christmas present and Kame’s birthday wasn’t for another couple of weeks. He didn’t understand the occasion.

Still, Kame took out the cell phone from the bag and gasped in disbelief. How was it possible for one person to make him feel so much in such a restricted amount of time? Kame opened his mouth to say something – anything – but he couldn’t force words out. “Jin it’s…”

“A new cell phone,” Jin finished for him with a smile. He took an arm and draped it around Kame’s shoulders, pulling the man closer. “I don’t want other people calling Kame anymore.” He grinned in satisfaction as Kame’s ears began to redden. “You’re mine and mine only.”

Kame halfheartedly struggled in the hold. He liked the feeling of Jin beside him. If Kame was given the opportunity to stay in this position forever, he would take it in a heartbeat. “G-Geez…” he murmured embarrassedly against Jin’s shoulder.

“So this will be for my ears only, got it?” Jin taped the cell phone twice before giving it back to its rightful owner. “Don’t give this number away to anyone else.” Jin swooped down and whispered in a dangerously low tone against Kame’s earlobe.

Kame, taken aback by the sudden feeling of intimacy, jumped back in fright. The fact that Jin’s lips were pressed against his ear was about the only thing that registered into his mind.

Kame missed Jin’s awkward grin, but Jin seemed to notice and quickly chastised himself before turning back to Kame. Kame looked good, Jin thought. Really good. But he was in the entertainment business; of course he looked good.

For some reason, though, Jin felt as if he was looking at Kame for the first time. His smile was large, yet shy, his hair done neatly but efficiently and his clothes best fit his figure. Apparently, Kame wasn’t the type to take dates lightly. Jin inwardly cursed himself for being untimely. There was no way he could allow Kame’s shy smile to falter.

It was then that Jin stopped thinking for a second.

Kame’s smile?

Kame’s smile should have been the least of his worries. Getting into Kame’s pants, however, should have been the first.

To cover up his inward struggle, Jin laughed. Kame delicately placed the phone back into its rightful place and thanked Jin. He then asked if Jin was serious about the His-Ears-Only rule.

Jin shook his head. “Kidding, kidding. But seriously, I hope you like it.”

“Of course I like it!” Kame blurted out without a second’s worth of hesitation. How couldn’t he like it? It was a present from Jin; he’d treasure it until he no longer loved Jin.

In Kame’s mind, this would be forever. He’d keep the phone until he grew old. He’d love Jin for that long, after all. Jin shifted his weight a little and then allowed his head to drop onto the latter’s shoulders. Kame stiffened at first, but soon gave into the feeling. He liked it a lot.

Jin sighed warmly as he mumbled, “it took me a while to pick it out. Putting into account your favorite color, company, it took a lot longer than I thought so when I realized that I was running late—”

“Thank you.” Kame interrupted, running a soft finger through Jin’s hair. “I’ll…I’ll make sure to treasure it. You know…for a minute, I honestly thought I was being dumped.” Kame said suddenly and Jin lifted his head.

He didn’t know how much he could take before his act fell apart. But somehow, Jin felt a false smile crawling onto his face and the words spewed out of him so fast that he could hardly comprehend what he was saying anymore.

Jin could no longer decipher his real words from his fake. He had lied for so long that he had become accustomed to it. Even genuine honesty was lost between his lies.

“Give me a little more credibility, Kame! I’m your boyfriend now.” To hide his guilt, Jin knew it was to hide his guilt, but he still grabbed the sides of Kame’s face and hungrily licked his lips. “I only want to do this with you.”

Kame eagerly closed his eyes and awaited Jin’s kiss. It didn’t take long. It was perfectly maneuvered, too. Jin reeked of perfume but Kame didn’t complain.

When a few strangers began to slow their paces down to gawk at the not-so-straight couple, Kame suddenly remembered his surroundings and placement.

He was an idol. So was Jin. He was a guy. So was Jin. Kitagawa would have their throats if this was leaked.

Kame unwillingly pushed Jin back, accidentally knocking a hand against his full lips. “Jin, stop!” Jin pouted and briskly wiped his now-swollen lip with the back of his hand. “We’re in the middle of the streets! People may recognize us.”

Jin spit out the tiny blood that was now leaking from his lower lip. “Let them.” He mumbled, fiercely grabbing Kame from behind and taking the entire man’s being into himself.

Kame felt his heart picking up pace as he inhaled Jin’s familiar scent, even though it was clouded by a heavy perfume. Kame rolled his flawless eyes. “Jin, I’m serious.”

Jin held Kame in place. “So am I.”

Kame laughed; there was no point in trying to argue with Jin. The rest of their date went by as casually as possible. They didn’t go anywhere special, nor did they do anything too flashy, but Kame enjoyed every possible second.

The areas they went to were usually secluded or very rarely inhabited; fear of the paparazzi was their main concern when choosing a location to have fun. Jin took Kame shopping and Kame even got Jin to try on a variety of assorted clothing.

Sometimes Kame would laugh at the clothing choice and other times he would be rendered speechless by how good the man looked.

When Kame took too long in the change room, Jin would mindlessly barge in and automatically, Kame would throw a heap of clothes in the man’s direction, furiously shouting at him to get out. Jin pouted, but did as he was told. They both laughed about it afterwards.

They didn’t go to a fancy restaurant, simply because they didn’t want to. Eating at a random stand near Kame’s apartment was more than enough for the both of the idols.

“Here,” Jin took a piece of his meat with his chopsticks and poked it into Kame’s mouth. “Good, right?” Kame nodded and then laughed after swallowing, going on about how Jin was treating him like a child.

“Let’s go to your house?” Jin’s statement came out more as a question than anything else. There should have been nothing wrong with the judgment, yet he felt his stable voice raise an octave or two. They were near Kame’s apartment so naturally, they should go to Kame’s apartment.

Kame nodded in agreement and the two headed off to the nearby buildings. It was nearly midnight, and the thought of Jin staying over nervously excited Kame.

It wasn’t like Jin had never stayed over before; he had on several occasions; it was the thought of Jin staying over as his boyfriend that somehow scared Kame. “Ah, yeah.” He coughed out.

They were going to have sex.

It was a given fact and Kame knew it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do it, either. He did. Sort of. The idea of giving himself to Jin wasn’t what scared Kame – not at all – it was more of the idea of everything else that scared him.

So when he felt Jin harshly pinning him down and into his bed, Kame didn’t wonder how it had happened. They were adults and friends and they were going out. It was bound to happen.

Their shopping bags had been left somewhere in the living room and Kame’s new phone on the counter in the kitchen. Most of the lights were kept off, mainly because of laziness and the sheer rush that followed their actions.

Kame felt his teeth begin to chatter a little, partially from excitement, anticipation, and partially from nervousness.

He could sensibly hear his own heart pounding heavily against his eardrums, or perhaps it had been Jin’s loud grunts – Kame couldn’t be certain anymore. What he was certain of, however, was that Jin was on top of him and that Jin was impatient.

Having sex with Jin crossed Kame’s mind once or twice in passing, usually as some sort of faint mirage or vivid dream but never anything real. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do it, either; so long as it was with Jin, Kame didn’t mind.

But Jin, the Jin now seemed only hungry for the man’s body and Kame couldn’t help but to shiver. His teeth were chattering uncontrollably now but Jin didn’t notice.

Jin’s hand slipped under Kame’s shirt and Kame further shuddered at the direct contact and at the coolness of Jin’s normally warm hand.

“Jin, wait…” Kame grunted hopelessly at the dangerously slate eyes. Jin didn’t notice this, either. It was as if he was in another world of his own altogether.

Jin’s movements were confident and certain, but Kame figured this to be natural. Jin was naturally confident. Kame wasn’t. He tried to wiggle free, but to no avail.

It wasn’t that the idea of having sex with Jin revolted Kame; it didn’t – in fact, it excited every cell in his body. It was the thought of messing up halfway through that scared him senseless.

Kame had never had sex.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to do; what he was supposed to say. And comparing himself to the man on top of him who was ravaging his neck with hungrily wet kisses, Kame found himself at a loss.

Jin’s movements were callous; his coarse hand ran down Kame’s exposed back and stuck onto his shoulders. Naturally, Kame felt his back arching to Jin’s movements. Kame tried to stop himself halfway through the advancement, but his attempt was rendered useless by Jin’s touches.

He let out an involuntary moan as Jin’s hand moved lower as well as his lips. Partially swollen from kissing Kame’s neck senseless, Jin’s lips moved down to Kame’s naked chest, biting away at the exposed flesh.

Kame didn’t understand what he’s supposed to do and his lack of knowledge left his hands glued to his sides. His instinct told him to wrap them around Jin’s neck and to return the pleasure, but his pride left him motionless.

Through the coarse material of their jeans, Jin began to rub his fully-blown erection against Kame’s. Kame, who up until this point hadn’t even realized how erect he was, buried his face into the pillow and let out a long, painful groan.

Jin’s actions felt needy, rushed. But Kame thought that because Jin was as turned on as he was, that there was no other reason. Jin snaked his way between Kame’s legs and Kame felt the same rush of nervousness returning to him as Jin easily parted his legs for him.

The older man was so absorbed in what he was doing and this scared Kame. The smaller man tried to squirm free but his attempts were still useless. He shut his eyes. He never imagined Jin to be this careless.

But then again, perhaps the Jin he created was only a figment of his imagination. The idea seemed very plausible now. Jin hurried his pace and snuck an arm down Kame’s pants, tugging at the belt buckle.

Kame couldn’t take the anticipation any longer; the feeling of Jin’s hand around his cock was reason enough for him to scream out, “J-Jin, wait!”

Jin grunted, slipping Kame’s pants from his legs. They were riding down his thighs by the time Jin was able to register that Kame had said anything whatsoever. He had been too engrossed in victory to actually notice the man under him.

Jin looked now. Kame seemed to be squirming, trying to wriggle free from Jin’s grasp. Jin stopped for a minute, even though he had succeeded in prying Kame’s pants from his legs. “What?” he asked.

Kame removed Jin’s hold and sat up in the bed. A moment of stiff silence passed and Jin steadied himself. Kame sat with his legs crossed in an embarrassed manner in nothing but his boxers whilst Jin studied his figure.

KAT-TUN’s youngest member couldn’t help but to suddenly feel a rush of self-consciousness sweep through him. He was well aware that Jin was staring at his partially naked self. “Um, I…”

“What? You like me, right?” Jin urged, moving closer to Kame until his body left Kame trapped between him and the backboard of the bed. “Or were you lying?”

It was a dirty trick and Jin knew it. But still, he couldn’t help but to voice the words. If he was lying, it meant that Kame too could have been lying after all.

Kame, appalled by the idea, rapidly shook his head. “No! No! I’d never lie to you! I like you, Jin. I wouldn’t lie to you!” he assured the latter frantically, face flushed while continuing to shake his head to the point Jin was sure it would fall off completely.

Jin laughed; he couldn’t help himself, sometimes Kame was simply too adorable to put into words. Kame further flushed at this, turning his gawk from Jin. “G-Geez…”

“Just…don’t fall too into it, okay?”

And as if the realization of everything dawned on him, Jin felt his stomach stir uncomfortably. He wasn’t falling too into anything. He didn’t like Kame. Quietly shy Kame, confident yet modest Kame – either or, it shouldn’t have mattered.

“If you like me as much as you say, what’re you complaining about?” Jin pursed his lips together in a thin line and continued to knead Kame’s nipples. “Here, just hold still.”

Kame unwillingly pushed the hand away. “W-Wait!”

Embarrassed, Kame didn’t know how to word it. “I’ve…” he began but the words died in his throat. Jin looked confused but he still held Kame firmly in place – stuck between his body and the headboard of the bed. Kame tried again, but to no avail. “I’ve never really…”

Jin groaned at Kame’s unusual reluctance and then at his growing erection. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore as he pinned Kame back into the mattress.

The two landed with a hearty thump and Kame couldn’t help himself; Jin was being too careless and he felt himself reheating. The words left his mouth before he could even control his speech.

“I’ve never done this!”

“W…What?” Taken aback, Jin backed off. He felt his heart knocking against his ribcage and he coughed twice to lighten himself of the heavy atmosphere.

Kame was still lying down, only this time his head was lightly titled to the side to avoid further eye contact with Jin. The latter, however, sat up in disbelief. He refused to believe the words. “Kame, it’s just sex!” his voice cracked unintentionally.

Kame could hardly believe what he was hearing. “Just, Jin?” He sat up now, legs under him as he clutched onto the sheets. “Just?!” Jin remained rooted to where he was, pants halfheartedly undone and socks thrown array. “How can you even say that?!”

Jin clasped a hand over his mouth. Kame, understanding that Jin got his point, looked down in shame. Jin felt his breath hasten. “So you’ve never…never…” it couldn’t have been possible.

Kame kept his gaze down. “No.”

Jin’s eyes continued to widen. He figured Kame to have done it countless times already. He shook his head in disbelief to rid himself of the heavy feeling in his chest. Jin got out of the bed, “liar!” he accused.

Kame fiercely met with Jin’s stare. “I’m not lying!”

“You’re 23, Kame! How couldn’t you?!”

“I’m not married!”

“So what?!”

“Not everyone’s like you, Jin!”

Jin laughed. It came out as a bitter chortle and Kame could feel his eyes stinging. He knew Jin would be revolted at the fact. What he didn’t know was that Jin was more revolted in his actions than anything else.

“I’m…” I’m trying to rob you of your first time, apparently. “I’m leaving.” The older man declared, hurriedly grabbing his socks and pushing his way out of Kame’s room. The air was getting far too stuffy. He needed fresh air.

Kame didn’t try to stop Jin; he didn’t try to do anything. He sat where he was in his boxers with his grip on the sheets tightening. Jin was disgusted in him.

Jin wandered aimlessly out of Kame’s apartment in a trance-like state. He left his shopping bags at Kame’s house, but that had been the least of his worries.

At the end of the day, Kame was still his friend. Friends didn’t do things like that to each other. Jin began to question their friendship until finally, his feet landed him on a familiar porch. He wasn’t sure what time it was anymore, but he was sure that it was well into the early morning.

He knocked on the door heavily and waited. A groggy Ryo opened the door, but Jin knew that the insomniac man hadn’t been sleeping. “Jin?” he asked hoarsely, “what’re you doing here?”

Ryo stepped aside to allow the latter inside and Jin let himself in. “This sucks, Ryo.” He mumbled incoherently as he slipped his shoes off and flung himself into the man’s living room.

He didn’t know where to begin, but luckily for him, with his best friends he didn’t have to know where to begin to where to end anything. They already knew.

Ryo shut the door behind him and then followed Jin into the living room. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Yamashita had been here as well, but he knew for a fact that his other best friend was over at Ikuta’s place. He didn’t even want to begin to imagine what they were doing.

To rid himself of the disturbing mental images, Ryo fled into the kitchen and came out with two glasses of water, handing one over to the solid figure on his couch.

Jin was blankly staring at the television screen, but Ryo could tell that his mind was elsewhere. “I won’t ask why you’ve showed up at my house at one in the morning, but dare I ask if you have my phone?” he said.

Jin shook his head.

“You forgot again?” Ryo sighed and sat down next to his friend. “Geez, Jin. At this rate I’m just going to buy my own.”

“I didn’t forget. I actually bought you one. I gave it to Kame, though.” Jin admitted.

Ryo raised a curious brow. “So you break my phone, promise to buy me another one for weeks and then give it away?” Ryo laughed and swallowed a mouth full of the water. “Please, enlighten me.”

“I lied and said it was for him.” Jin said in a very delicate tone; delicate to the point Ryo was sure it would break. “And he believed me. Simple as that. I lied to him.” Jin laughed coarsely, his voice bitter. “I can’t even tell from my lies and the truth anymore. I’m screwed up, Ryo. I don’t get it.”

“Why is that?” Ryo muttered, trying to concentrate the TV.

“He saw me with some girl. ’Told him it was my cousin.” He yawned and set aside the glass, spreading his body out on the large couch. “Kame…Kame’s too gullible. God damn it why does he have to trust me so much for?!”

Jin didn’t understand why he had been so annoyed at Kame’s honestly, but he was. “He’s so…he’s so stupid.” He fingered the corner of his eyes with a finger.

“You crying?”

“No.”

“You’re crying.”

“So?” Jin wrathfully wiped away the tiny water droplets. “It’s just…just…he’s a virgin, Ryo.”

“Liar!”

Jin nuzzled himself into the couch. It would make for an uncomfortable night, but he thought he deserved it. He wasn’t even sure how he was going to face Kame at work tomorrow. “I’m already aware that I’m a liar, Ryo. But believe me, he is.”

Ryo sighed and placed his head into the couch as well, stretching out his legs and closing his eyes. “Fucking hell.”

“There’d be no feelings behind it. Kame’s not the type of person who’d want to just…I don’t get it. Hell, I don’t even get myself anymore. Ryo, what’s wrong with me?! Kame’s a virgin! I didn’t think that he’d be…oh god, Ryo. What am I supposed to do?!”

Jin groaned into his friend’s shirt and gripped it with a death-like clutch. How was Ryo supposed to answer that? “Have sex. Don’t have sex. What difference will it make?” he asked Jin, “asides $247.00, I mean.”

“Kame’s first time shouldn’t be…worth $247.00.” Jin shot back, a little too defensively.

Ryo closed his eyes and turned over so that Jin’s hand fell from his grasp as well as his face. “I’m going to sleep. You said Kamenashi’s gullible.” Ryo whispered with his voice barely audible against the loud searing of the television. “Even so, do you think he’s a fool?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Ryo halfheartedly shrugged his rigid shoulders. “Just wondering.”

“Kame’s not…Kame’s not a fool.”

“But he’s gullible.” Ryo rebutted.

“Yeah, he is.”

“Wouldn’t that amount in being the same thing as a fool?”

Jin helplessly hugged his friend. “Where are you getting at, Ryo?” he droned out the last syllable on purpose.

Jin didn’t understand. Kame’s chastity was only part of his problem. The other part, the part he refused to voice out loud was that he kind of…wanted to do Kame. But that couldn’t be possible. He didn’t like Kame like that.

From this point on, everything was supposed to be a game.

Users’ Manual

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 20:04:49 GMT

Title: Users’ Manual
Summary: Some days Kame feels like Jin’s using him. Most days, Kame doesn’t care
Genre: Romance/General
Pairings: Jin/Kame (Akame)
Other Characters: None
Content: 1,848-word drabble
Author: Nerd-san
Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with Johnny Entertainment

Users’ Manual

If there was ever such a thing as a user’s manual for people, Kame thinks that Jin would need to read one about him.

But Jin doesn’t like reading – he wouldn’t waste his time. Kame knows this much. He also knows that Jin only ever uses him. But he doesn’t mind.

Really, he doesn’t.

Discharged from his thoughts, Kame sits blankly, allowing the manager’s lecture to pass him by. The rest of KAT-TUN is in the room as well, sitting closer to the manager to digest his words whilst Kame and Jin sit somewhere near the back of the studio.

Kame doesn’t know why Jin bothers to agree to all the drama invitees if he clearly shows zero interest in said subject. But the man is sitting beside him, nonetheless.

Or rather, sleeping.

Kame doesn’t understand a lot of things about Jin. He wouldn’t mind trying to, either, if only the man would allow it. But Jin says that since he doesn’t want to understand Kame either, that it should be a fair trade. Reluctantly, when Jin passed the words, Kame remained silent. It made enough sense.

But, Kame thinks again, if Jin really isn’t interested in partaking in their latest drama, he should at least refrain from shifting in his chair and mumbling incoherent words every now and then. It really distracts Kame.

So when the manager calls upon the younger man to answer the question about the production schedule, Kame’s mind runs blank.

There is a stealthy silence passed between his band mates and the manager looks rather ticked off.

He narrows his thin eyebrow ridge and Kame feels the beads of sweat running down the side of his face. Or it’s from the unbearable amount of embarrassment, he isn’t sure.

He opens his mouth to say something – anything – but all runs dry. The manager’s frown creases as Kame lowers his gaze.

The rest of KAT-TUN erupts into a fit of playfully strangled chortles and Kame feels himself coloring again. Sometimes his friends could be rather immature, he decides.

But then again, if only he had been able to hear the manager’s question, Kame might have known the answer.

He looks to his left at the still sleeping figure. Kame glares at the man. It’s Jin’s fault – and he knows this – but he can hardly bring himself to blame the man.

With his auburn hair gleaming delicately under the harsh shade of the studio, with his mouth lightly ajar and lips oh-so quietly parted from one another, Kame can’t bring himself to blame Jin.

It’s for reasons like these that Kame hates Jin.

“Did you finish re-writing the script?”

Jin asks this with a furtive yawn and customary stretch-of-the-hands as he and Kame walk off for their lunch break.

“Did you finish re-writing the script?” Kame knows, translates to “Did you make my copy too?”

The interrogation session is already over and Jin has successfully woken up. Kame finds it strange that the only reason Jin wakes up is to walk for a few minutes before throwing himself into a deep slumber again.

Kame doesn’t voice this crude observation, however, and only reaches into his knapsack to throw Jin a copy of his well-designed, edited version of their drama script.

Their manager had requested everyone read over their lines for the night and voice any complaints they had with the script in writing. Kame had already finished his own copy last night, but he didn’t understand why he did Jin’s as well.

Still walking, Jin takes it ungratefully, crumpling the edges Kame had taken extra time to even out. But at least Jin grins, throwing Kame a slap on the back with his rugged hand. This is much more than Kame’s used to.

Thinking of it again, Kame really hates Jin.

But he’s a little happy, for some reason beyond his mind’s thinking capacity. He should be royally ticked off. He should hit Jin. He should curse Jin to do his own work. But he can’t. He doesn’t mind honestly, if Jin uses him raw.

Kame knows that he’s only an object to Jin – something Jin places beside him to make up for loss time – Kame doesn’t really understand.

Jin doesn’t make any attempt for Kame to. They are simply as is. And they both accept this fact, to some degree.

Jin doesn’t really care and Kame tries to shelter himself to be as indifferent as Jin, but his actions usually fall useless.

Maybe he does feel something for Jin. Kame’s not sure.

“Kame, I didn’t bring my towel.” Jin groans a week later, after their dance rehearsals are over and KAT-TUN is drenched in a beaded sweat. Kame frowns.

Even though Jin doesn’t ask him straight out, Kame knows that he wants his towel. But Kame thinks he needs it too. He dabs his fingers with the threadlike material slung across his neck in an unspoken consideration.

Jin asks again, continuing on with his air of indirectness. Kame looks around to see that most of KAT-TUN’s members are already gone. He feels a headache coming on again.

Cigarettes. Kame decides that he needs a pack of cigarettes. He doesn’t smoke, but it had been an annoying habit he picked up to relieve the stress Jin brought him.

He would blankly stare at the cigar, light it, and then watch the unhealthy tobacco disintegrate in front of his eyes.

Kame needs his cigars now.

He throws Jin his towel and then grabs his bag before heading out. When outside, a harsh gust of wind pecks away at Kame’s damp neck and he feels himself getting sick. He thinks that maybe, he should have dried off after all.

“Kame, I’m cold.”

It’s early spring but there are still mounds of snow on the ground. KAT-TUN is walking to their photo shoot site, and Kame listens to Jin’s complaints halfheartedly.

Kame’s cold too, but he doesn’t say anything. Kame thinks that he’s the poorest dressed for the weather among his friends; he hardly had anytime to throw on a sweater this morning.

He doesn’t know why Jin’s asking him of all people, but he figures it’s because he’s the only one who will comply with the man’s whines.

There is still another ten minutes of walking ahead of them, but Kame throws off his bland sweater and throws it in Jin’s direction before speeding up his walking pace.

Its a few days later and Kame feels dizzy. The doctor tells him not to overwork himself and not to go outside without being properly dressed. Kame nods when he hears the information and blearily walks out of the medical office.

He calls in sick and the manager only tells him to hurry up and get better. Kame agrees before heading home and throwing himself against his bed. He’s tired.

When Kame wakes up later in the evening, he hears his cell phone go off. Subconsciously, he reaches for it and answers in his weary. It’s Jin again. Kame frowns.

Jin asks him to meet him at his house in ten minutes and he desperately needs his help. Kame knows that it’s impossible to get to Jin’s house that quickly. He also knows that he should be resting. Nonetheless, Kame goes.

Kame figures that Jin didn’t need his help with anything to begin with. Almost half an hour later when Kame knocks on Jin’s front door, face red and forehead beaded with a sick sweat, Jin greets him impatiently.

“Kame, I’m horny.”

So they have sex, much to Kame’s reluctance. Jin’s impatient and Kame hardly has a say in anything as Jin strips him mercilessly, not bothering with any sort of lubrication.

It hurts like hell and Kame hates it. But no matter how much he hates it, Kame still doesn’t mind.

He and Jin are lying down his couch even though Jin is already half asleep, Kame asks what he is to Jin. If Jin uses him to this extent, he asks if there are any feelings behind any of it. Jin shrugs. He tells Kame that he doesn’t know.

“Are we friends?” Kame persists.

Jin’s too tired to care much for the question and shrugs again. Kame feels his shoulders brushing against his own and he shivers. “Yeah, I guess.” Jin says.

“Lovers?” Kame asks.

Jin shakes his head and tells Kame that that’s impossible. Kame doesn’t see why, but he doesn’t say anything. Jin yawns again and Kame stands up a little, wondering where in the mess his clothes had scattered off to. Jin tells him that he’s going to sleep.

It’s Kame turn to shrug as he sits up. “Whatever.”

Friends with benefits, Kame decides silently, covering his face with a clammy palm. He and Jin just are friends with benefits.

For some reason, the thought tastes funny and Kame begins to laugh. He doesn’t even remember when his laughter had erupted into a strangled sob but it does. Jin’s too deep into his sleep to notice but Kame sobs regardless.

He hates Jin. Jin’s always the winner.

It’s a month later and while at home, Kame feels his phone vibrating against his back pocket. He doesn’t need to think twice about whom it is and what they want.

Kame takes the phone from his pocket and without looking at the caller ID, sets it aside as he heads to his bedroom.

He rustles through his clothing for a tube of lubrication and a pack of cigarettes. Kame doesn’t smoke, but on days like this, he can’t help himself.

He also knows that Jin would much rather prefer rough sex, but Kame’s not up for that. In fact, a part of him is sick of being used for Jin’s own selfish desires.

Kame reconsiders the thought. Some days he hates it, but most days Kame doesn’t mind it at all.

He shuts the door behind him with a steady thump as he exits. He feels the lump of cigarettes in his jacket pocket and smiles a little crookedly. At least he can bring his sanctuary with him.

His phone goes off again, but this time Kame answers it. “Where are you?” Jin’s voice is laced with an inculpable edginess. He’s probably at his house, impatiently waiting for Kame’s arrival.

Kame contemplates the thought of not going. Not going would mean that he’ll be able to walk normally to work tomorrow. Not going would mean that he won’t have to lie to his friends tomorrow when they ask where he’s been. Not going would be best.

So, Kame replies slowly.

“I’m coming.”

Jin is impatient and hates it when Kame keeps him waiting. And Kame knows this much. He doesn’t know why feels as compelled to go as he does, but he does. Jin wasn’t ever going to read his users’ manual no matter what Kame said.

Despite knowing all of this, Kame grins. Feeling the large curvy clump in the back of his pants pocket; at least their sex wouldn’t be quite as painful this time. Kame’s grin widens.

Maybe Jin isn’t the winner this time.

♫

Me thinks that there hath been some sort of misunderstanding, yes? Drabbles are drabbles and I just write them ~~to anger people~~ for fun. Well anyways…all I have to say this time is…I love Macbeth! (♥__♥)

Inbox: 1 New Feeling

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 05:40:27 GMT

Title: Inbox: 1 New Feeling
Summary: While communicating through email, Jin says he’s in love with someone and Kame’s left wondering to himself why he even cares. Jealously comes in all sorts of hues, Kame understands
Genre: Romance/General
Pairings: Implied Jin/Kame (Akame)
Other Characters: None
Content: 1,606-word drabble
Author: Nerd-san
Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with Johnny Entertainment

Inbox: 1 New Feeling

On their day off, Kame is restlessly lounging around his apartment when he receives a new email from Jin. He isn’t surprised, however, and only glimpses at the message with a sort of estrange curiosity.

Setting aside his water bottle and anything else that he may have been carrying, Kame reads the message carefully. This feeling wells up at the pit of his stomach, but he doesn’t understand what it is exactly. He reads the message again. The same feeling comes back.

Kame begins to grow a little accustom to the feeling and even re-reads the message just to have it come back to him. He feels like he is being lifted off the floor by some sort of external force that defies the laws of both gravity and physics.

He feels sick.

Inbox: 1 new message from: Akanishi Jin
Ne Kame, have you ever been in love?

Kame thinks over the question for a minute. Love isn’t an uncommon virtue in one’s life. He thinks over the question for a second time. Why is Jin asking about love so suddenly? And more importantly, why does he feel his grip on his water bottle tightening?

Kame decides that he’s angry.

Very angry.

Words don’t come to him and he can’t find the right thing to say. He doesn’t understand anything about the feeling, but he feels compelled to reply to Jin’s abrupt curiosity. It isn’t like he’s not used to it.

Inbox: 1 message from: Kamenashi Kazuya
Why waste your time falling in love? It’s not like anything good ever comes out of it.

Kame’s reply is brusque and to the point. His brain tells him to turn off his laptop and to further discuss the topic with Jin at the Jimusho tomorrow. His heart doesn’t allow him to do so and the laptop is left open on his living room floor.

He doesn’t look at it.

He’s not going to constantly check his email, waiting for Jin’s reply. This is what Kame tells himself, but he still finds his head buried into the computer’s vast screen. The reply comes shortly after and Kame feels his heart picking up speed again.

He chastises himself for feeling a little giddy, but nonetheless grins at the fact that Jin replied. His response is much like the first, defending his earlier assessment and praising the word love.

Kame skims through his second message again and then comes to a halt once he notes that Jin has written that he himself has fallen in love with someone.

For a minute, Kame feels utmost anger towards the person. He doesn’t know why, but he does. Jealousy? He doubts it. He and Jin have been friends for far too long to feel things as trivial as jealousy.

This doesn’t help the fact that Kame slams shut his laptop and huffs angrily at Jin through his computer. He allows himself an elongated sigh. Jin was in love with some girl?

He wondered why he had never noticed this; it’s not like Jin to keep much of a secret. It’s not like Jin to hide something from him. Nothing this important. At least, Kame didn’t think so. Kame disregards the rest of his thoughts, scrunches his eyebrows and heads off to bed.

Jin was just kidding, right?

After work the next day, Kame receives another message from Jin. He’s a lot more cautious of the soft sound that leeks from his laptop informing him of a new message. He reads the new message, although with a lot more vigilance than the first time. He refuses to be caught off guard again.

Inbox: 1 new message from: Akanishi Jin
I saw them again today.

Kame anxiously draws his tongue from his mouth and lets it slide over his lower lip. He doesn’t understand what the point of any of this was. They had fallen into some sort of pattern.

When he comes home, there would always be a new message from Jin waiting for him in his inbox but it always regarded the same topic. Jin’s love. This annoys Kame.

But Kame, being Kame, takes it in and replies with certainty and friendly advice. He doesn’t remember when he has become this indifferent.

They send messages to and fro, the replies quick and steady without a second’s worth of hesitation. Kame doesn’t understand why, but they stay on the same topic for almost hours. He knows he has a drama shoot in the early morning, but something still refuses to allow him to tell Jin goodbye.

The habit continues and drones on for weeks on end. They never talk about something else and by this time Kame has learned a lot about the person Jin loves. They, too, work at the Jimusho – but Kame didn’t see that fit into the picture.

He can’t imagine his friend obsessing over one of the camera women.

Kame’s in the kitchen preparing his dinner when he hears the familiar beep of his laptop. His thoughts of his busy day immediately leave his clouded mind.

His grin widens and instantly drops his knife and the onion he has been peeling to run for the computer. He scrolls down his messages and clicks on the one marked unread.

Inbox: 1 message from: Akanishi Jin
They were too busy to notice me today!

Kame replies that even he had been busy and that Jin’s love, who as Jin says doesn’t even know loves them, had probably had an equal amount of work.

For the first few minutes, Jin seems satisfied with this aspect but after the initial fulfillment, goes on to complain about said person for at least half an hour.

Kame endures it all.

He replies where necessary and stays silent where needed. The feeling that had always been there since the first time Jin has mentioned the person is still there, but Kame has learned to cope with it. But then he feels the same unbearable anger welling over.

He writes to Jin that Jin should get over them and find someone else to talk about. He accuses Jin of not really loving the person. He thinks the message over before he sends it, but he is far too furious to think straight and hits the send button anyway.

Jin replies quickly.

Inbox: 1 message from: Akanishi Jin
How could you be so insensitive?! I feel sorry for whoever falls in love with you. They’ll be sad all the time. Such a prude…

Kame shuts off his computer after giving Jin a generic apology. He has no right to cry. He’s the one who prompted the man to say what he did. His breathing hitches and he takes a deep breath to calm his unsteady heart pulse down.

He frowns.

He doesn’t understand why his hands are shaking a little or why he cares as much as he does. He wonders to himself what right Jin has to call him insensitive. Telling him that he feels sorry for however falls in love with Kame – isn’t that what you call insensitive?

That’s the reason, Kame tells himself. That’s the reason his lips are quivering. That’s the reason his eyes are beginning to sting a little.

Not necessarily because of what was said, but because Jin was the one who said it. Kame doesn’t know why, but that makes it all the worse. He allows himself to cry for a minute before retiring to bed. There’s no reason he should care.

Kame forgets the incident by the next morning. He just needed some sleep, Kame tells himself, he just needed some sleep and now he will feel normal again. Knowing that Jin loved someone, Kame doubts he will ever feel normal again.

Almost a month later, something unexpected happens – Kame is the one to email Jin first.

Their conversation is no different than what they’ve been discussing for the past month. Jin’s love. Kame knows a little more about them now, but still not enough to identify who they are, exactly.

Kame considers the possibility of Jin liking a guy.

He smiles wearily at himself as he shakes his head. That’s not possible. At least, not for Jin. Kame’s never decided he liked guys, he didn’t – at least not in that way – but he did consider the option of liking Jin.

Then he thinks about the fact that Jin’s a guy. He banishes the thought.

He’s just angry because his friend found someone else to think about other than him. That’s all. He’s not jealous. Kame doesn’t get jealous. Not because of Jin.

Another month whizzes by. Time goes by so fast that Kame hasn’t even noticed that it’s already early April. But their conversations are always the same.

Most days now, Kame is left to himself wondering who Jin speaks of. Sitting in front of his laptop like most other days, he asks Jin again to identify who it is he loves. Jin says that he will do so once he is sure they like him too. Kame sighs at Jin’s reluctance albeit feeling mildly secure at the fact that Jin won’t confess.

Kame asks for a hint to aid him in his search.

Jin just gives him the same reply he always does. He tells him the color clothes they had wore to work.

Inbox: 1 message from: Akanishi Jin
They were wearing faded navy jeans today.

Kame smiles jadedly.

Like he normally would, Kame doesn’t ask Jin who it is he loves for a second time.

If Jin liking them isn’t already frustrating enough, he doesn’t even want to think about who had copied the same jeans he wore.

♫

Too much math…too much math…too much math…I want a hippo D: Sorry, randomness. But seriously, I do want a hippo. Um…yeah. Less hippos more Akame. I wrote this a really long time ago. I just got too lazy to update it. Um…when I say ‘really long time ago’ I just mean the day after my last drabble, whenever that was xDD

At Exact Time

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 23:09:54 GMT

Title: At Exact Time
Summary: Quietly studious Kame always sneaks out at exactly 1:38am to meet with a certain someone
Genre: Romance/General
Pairings: Akame (main) [Jin/Kame], Ryopi [Ryo/Pi]
Other Characters: KAT-TUN
Content: 1,532-word drabble
Author: Nerd-san
Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with Johnny Entertainment

At Exact Time

Kame knows that his mother won’t allow him to leave the house past ten. She’s over-protective in those regards. But he does it anyway. At the same time every day, when he is assured both parents are fast asleep, Kame makes a beeline for the door and pushes past the various obstacles in his way to do so.

His parents don’t know about this.

It’s exactly 1:38am by the time he is able to do this, but nonetheless, Kame knows that he will be waiting for him. Because he always is.

The humid summer air feels good against Kame’s bare arms as he closes the house door behind him. He thinks to himself for a minute – perhaps this is wrong? The thought, as quickly as it had come, disappears into the morning air. There are better things to be thinking about. Like him.

He’s waiting for him again; standing outside the house with his motorcycle and ragged grey jacket that isn’t needed for the weather. He leans against his bike with a smirk as he looks at Kame’s shorts and loose t-shirt. He doesn’t wave nor does he say anything, instead he throws Kame the helmet.

Kame gets on the motorcycle, turning back once to watch his house disappearing in the distance. There are no other helmets, and instead he allows Kame to take the only one that there is. If only Kame’s parents could see how responsible this man really was, Kame wouldn’t feel as disobedient as he does when he’s with him.

The scenery whizzes by as they drive off into the night and Kame only restricts his hold on the latter. He knows that he won’t allow Kame to fall off, but Kame just likes the feeling of his arms around his waist.

Kame doesn’t ask where he’s taking them.

He already knows where they’re going. He plays his guitar with a couple of his friends at a club around this time. They’re quite popular, actually. Kame goes with him to sit down and listen to the man sing. It’s beautiful, really. If only his parents could give the songs a try, he wouldn’t feel so bad going to listen to them.

They reach the club and he parks his motorcycle where he always does. Kame takes off his helmet and gives it back to him. They talk for a few mindless seconds before Kame feels his lips against his own.

They kiss.

Prolonged and slow, Kame wraps his arms around the man’s neck. They always kiss at this exact time.

Shyly being guided by the man’s hand, Kame walks with him into the club. He’s underage but no one in the place pays the boy in his t-shirt much attention. The attention goes to the man beside him in the worn-out jacket and roguish smile.

He knows most of the people there as he waves to them all and even makes small talk while Kame blankly stands beside him, trying not to get pushed by the dancers swirling by.

If his parents had approved of the man, Kame wouldn’t have to come to such a rundown place just to see him; just to be together. But they don’t. They can’t go out together during the day. No one will approve of them. He and Kame are from different universes, they said. It’s not right, they said.

Kame makes his way to a seat and clumsily sits down. There’s a man beside him, Nishikido Ryo is his name, and he is one of his friends. Nishikido makes small talk with Kame as Kame nods uninterestedly, more in tune to the man on the stage.

He sings.

His voice is one to die for, Kame thinks to himself. But no one else would ever be able to hear it. His parents didn’t want him associating with a high school drop out in the first place, and somehow Kame puts the blame on himself.

He had known where the relationship would lead, but still, they became friends. Then they became friends with benefits. Somewhere in there, they were stuck between friends and lovers. And finally, they had actually become lovers.

Kame chews on the gum Nishikido has given him and stares at the hard beer placed in front of him. Nishikido tells him that its harmless and that a sip wouldn’t hurt, but Kame politely declines the offer. Nishikido shrugs to himself and turns back to the other man who had now come to sit with them.

Yamashita Tomohisa, another friend of his.

He doesn’t regard Kame at all and Kame turns away once he and Nishikido start to become drunkenly enhanced with one another. Yamashita throws himself in Nishikido’s lap and Kame walks away once a shirt flies into his face. He doesn’t turn back nor does he want to see. He only thanks the overly zealous music for muffling out their sounds.

The song finishes soon after and he practically shines under the stage lights. The sober parts of the crowd roar with applause while the more drunken parts begin to stomp their feet with excitement. Kame stands in the middle of it all and gives him a large smile.

He jumps off the stage with his guitar and tow and ignores the compliments with only Kame in his sight. He engulfs Kame with his larger body and leaves the smaller man to weld there.

They kiss again, only this time they’re both rather sweaty and under the heavy lights and influence of alcohol on his part – rather drunk with lust.

He begins to grope at the younger man and Kame allows him to do so, far too caught up in the rush of anything to care much anymore for what his parents think. They continue to heatedly make out with such passion that even a few of the drunkards feel complied to turn away.

There’s a room at the back of the club.

It’s rather sleazy and stuffy, but Kame knows it pretty well. There’s no bed but there is a mat, a table and a lock on the door. Kame figures it’ll have to do as usual because there is no way the raw infatuation inside him can hold off for much longer.

Kame crashes onto the floor and he crashes atop him, not making much motion to shut the door behind him. It’s not like the people around here aren’t used to it. In a way Kame is grateful their relationship is accepted somewhere.

He strips Kame all to fast and Kame can already feel his hardened cock pumping inside of him. He figures it’s around 2:19am by now, but the rest of his senses are lost to the man inside of him. He moans and then Kame moans, but the blasting music in the background washes away much of anything else.

Sex is quick for them. Kame thinks it’s around 2:31am once the man pulls out of him. He’s already zipping up his pants’ zipper while Kame is still fishing around for his boxers. He’s always much quicker than Kame.

Soon they’re back on the dance floor and Kame thinks about him.

He was one of those people who would always slip out of the boring classes and smoke behind the back of the school once no one was looking. When they went to the same school, Kame never liked him or the thousands of girls that flocked behind him.

When he dropped out of school, Kame still refused to like him. Too intoxicated with yearning now, Kame couldn’t even remember when it was that they did start liking each other.

Their time together comes to an abrupt halt once the clock strikes 3:00am.

He already knows this and is already pushing past the crowd to get back outside. When they’re back on his motorcycle, Kame feels the need to say something – anything – but he can’t bring himself up to.

Kame allows him to take him home.

He says that he’ll be waiting outside on his motorcycle to see Kame inside and Kame nods. They hug again one last time before Kame gets off the bike and to his shaking feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right Jin?” he asks a little unsurely, twiddling his fingers in an embarrassed manner as the latter nods.

Kame walks to the front door and then Jin drives off without waving goodbye. There wouldn’t be a need to, seeing as they would be seeing each other the next time 1:38am came rolling around.

Kame takes out his spare keys and walks back to his room, trying to steady his excited heartbeat.

The next morning when his parents ask him where he had received the red mark on his neck or why he reeks of alcohol, Kame shrugs and blames the sleepless night and uncomfortable bedding position. His parents nod but stop questioning the boy.

The next night Kame listens to his father’s soft snoring and his mother light rustling in the other room. He smiles at the fact that they’re asleep again. Once he hears the soft cry of a motorcycle in the distance, Kame grins.

Jin’s here.

And it’s 1:38am again.

He repeats the same process the next day.

♫

Gaaaaah, I’m on my way home from some student council meeting now and really bored with my brother’s laptop, hence this 10 minute randomness. I think some of the passenger’s are staring at me O_O…oh and don’t mind the math -_- I'm trying to like it. Still another 35 minutes until I get home L

Phosphorescent Lights: Epilogue: Jin's Life

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 06:00:40 GMT

Every secret has a price…
Title: Phosphorescent Lights
Summary: A photographer with no memories whose goal in life is to seek out what he has lost; a businessman who swore revenge for the death of his lover while desperately trying to escape his fixated reality. Two entirely different men with entirely different lives bound together by the threads of destiny. But little do the two know that they are bounded together by more than just simple destiny…
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairings: Akame (primary), Ryoda (secondary) mentions of Jinda, Pin, Ryopi, Kokame, Kamaki
Other Characters: Jin, Kame, Ueda, Yamashita, Ryo, Koki, slight appearances from Taguchi, Nakamaru, Shige, Ayase, Tegoshi
Content: Romance, drama, AU [Alternate Universe]
Author: Nerd-san
Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with Johnny Entertainment
…are they willing to pay it?

Phosphorescent Lights: Epilogue
Jin’s Life
One Month Later

Before I had walked into the church, I had told myself that I would talk to Maki. And then to Koki. And finally, to Ryo. I wanted to do this thing with a clear conscious.

Maki, in her light-blue dress and nicely-done hair wasn’t that hard to find. She shied away from me at first, but eventually I had found her.

It was well before any of the other guests had come and even Kame wasn’t present yet, but I figured this to be the best time to engage in conversation.

“You look lovely today,” I smiled politely and she laughed, saying the same thing about me. I felt a lot more timid than I usually would in my black tuxedo but I couldn’t help myself. I was marrying Kame.

“I know you’re here to talk about Kazuya,” she said softly, “I’m not angry. Not at all. If anyone deserves you, it’s him and if anyone deserves him, it’s you.” I blinked in confusion. Her laughter only hastened at this.

“Jin, you’re so predictable. It’s fine. Go and get married. Be happy. You deserve it after what my parents made you go through with me before settling that deal.” I widened my eyes – did she think my going out with her was sheer torture for me?

My words fell dry and I couldn’t find the right thing to say. She shook her head and began to walk off to where her parents were seated. “Don’t mess this up!” she called back and all I could do was manage a nod.

As more people made their way into the building, I walked out in hopes of finding Tanaka Koki. As luck would have it, I bumped into him as soon as he had been making his way into the church. He didn’t seem too please to see me – but I had thought as much.

“Congratulations,” he said and tried to get past me.

“No, Tanaka, wait.” I called back, “I know you don’t really like me for what happened three years ago, but I love Kame. That’s not going to change. If…if it were up to me, I’d love him no matter what. And I will.”

“When I’m around him I can’t see anything else but our love. I’ll be blunt. What…what I’m trying to say is that I want you to forgive me.”

Koki seemed more eager to head inside that to remain where he was and continue talking to me. “Kame’s property of A. Jewelry. Did you tell him that?”

I shook my head. “He’s not property. I’ve told you that long ago. I’m president now. And he’s not property. If anything, he’s going to be my husband.”

Koki nodded at my words. He began to head off before turning back, white tux hitting his sides. “If you hurt him, you do understand that I’ll have to kill you right?”

I laughed. Then I nodded. I wasn’t planning on hurting Kame.

More people began to walk into the church and from the corner of my eyes I saw Kame coming. I made a mad-dash to the door and headed off. I still had to get a much needed tool before the wedding began.

I only silently prayed that Kame would forgive my teeny delay.

I ran in almost ten minutes later, “Kame!” my cheery voice screeched from across the room and the entire crowd turned to look at me.

There was a loud, bubbly applause and I began turning red. I laughed and waved a little as I ran up to where Kame was.

“Kame…do you mind if my friend performs the ceremony?” I asked, out of breath.

It wasn’t that Kame didn’t approve of the idea; he was just taken aback a little. “Huh?”

“I have to know that he accepts us. He’s my best friend, Kame; I can’t do this without knowing he’s still after revenge.” My heart lunged heavily at the though of Ryo not accepting us.

Kame opened my mouth to ask me something, but I raised a hand to quiet him down. “No, I know it makes no sense to you but Kame, please just let me do this one thing.” Kame nodded.

The delightful music stopped, but Kame didn’t seem to be enjoying it as we stood by ourselves in front of the whistling crowd. I laughed a little by Kame’s side and grinned at my friends in the crowd, who from their front row seats, were all smiles – especially Taguchi.

“Knock ’em dead, kid!” I heard Kame’s old manager and watched him as he rooted and pumped a fist into the air. I looked at Kame and I who only further buried his face into his hand.

Ayase too, joined in on the manager antics. “Kame-kun! Don’t screw up!” some people in the crowd began to chuckle at two and I laughed at Kame who couldn’t help but to think that maybe, just maybe he should have brought along only Shige.

“This is Kamenashi’s wedding, not a ballet recital…” the said man muttered loudly, pulling the manager’s hand down and trying to shut Ayase’s mouth with his hand simultaneously.

I laughed at the sight and but I could feel the discomfit radiating from Kame even from where I was standing.

The preacher, Ryo, made his way to the small stage and sighed nervously. Maybe I wasn’t the only anxious one.

The thought somehow lightened a load I hadn’t known I had been carrying from my back. The hall went silent, waiting for someone to speak. I did.

I turned from Kame and to the crowd. I knew that most of the people gathered here today were also workers of A. Jewelry.

I squeezed Kame’s hand as I spoke. “I know not all of you are from A. Jewelry, but I’d like to be the first to say,”

I stopped. I didn’t know what to say first. There was so much to say, so much which had been left unsaid for so long that I didn’t know what to blurt out first. A. Jewelry.

I didn’t want people to cower in fear at the name. That was when my step-father was president. Kame was here now. Kame had showed me the light in my lightless life. Kame was my light. I held on tighter to his hand.

“I know that A. Jewelry hasn’t always been the first place people would come looking for work. Well, sometimes, I guess, but only for its reputation.” There were silumtaenous nods passed through across the crowd and I almost grinned at the expectedness.

“I was like you once,” I said in all honesty, “I hated the place. Absolutely despised it and everything about it.” I thought back to Pi and everything else. I looked back for a minute and at Ryo who looked to be in a world of his own; contemplating my words.

“I hated walking into the building; I hated sitting at my desk and having to do work because of my step-father.” Times that were not so far from now yet still hung ominously above all of our heads.

I peeked my eyes from through my bangs for a minute to catch the worker’s reactions. Most were nodding, some weren’t doing anything whatsoever. I looked beside me at Kame who seemed absorbed in my speech. I took a deep breath before continuing.

“Because of my old secretary, I now realized that I’ve become the one thing I promised myself I’d never become: someone just like my step-father. Someone who didn’t understand the meaning of love or what it was like to live – really live.”

I thought back to all the company had done to me and the time that I wished I had never been born an Akanishi. I felt a wave of confusion overcome me for a second followed by a wave of customary nausea before I steadied myself and my words.

“So I’d like to be the first to say that I am now disbanding the phosphoresce law in the building. What my step-father wanted and what I want have nothing to do with each other.”

How long ago had that rule been put into place? For how long have we been abiding by it? I didn’t like to think about it. The crowd remained silent and I scratched the back rim of my ear hesitantly.

“He only placed the ban in the first place because he knew it reminded me of someone he didn’t want me to remember. But Kame…being with Kame made me remember. He made me remember what it was like to live.”

I didn’t hold back anymore, I took Kame by the waist and attached himself to me. “I don’t want to work in a place as dark as A. Jewelry either, Tegoshi-kun.” I looked directly at my young secretary as I said this and I noticed he only smiled back at my words.

Kame couldn’t help it – he smiled too. I swooped up and took Kame’s hand with my own and held it in place. I watched him clumsily trying to balance the roses without much success and laughed.

“Everyone…let’s make A. Jewelry a workable place again.”

The crowd of people, hell even people who didn’t work under my rule, stood up and cheered. Even Kame who was beside me started clapping with the roses in his hand. It was a rather ridiculous sight and I couldn’t help but to laugh out loud.

I think it was just because I was looking for a reason to laugh; I was happy. The happiest I’ve been in years, actually.

Standing with Kame now, I couldn’t help but to think back to that first time we met. We had only spent five weeks together, but we had both gone through a lot to finally be where we were now. The thought was a reward in itself.

How much misunderstandings had we gone through? How many tears have we shed for one another and how many more circles were we going to retrace before we finally were able to come back to where we belonged – with each other.

I decided, long ago, that our love didn’t make sense. It never did and to my knowledge, never would. That first kiss we shared at 5:00pm and the crude words that followed – those were memories now. What we had now was what truly mattered.

Once the clapping and cheering had died down, Ryo cleared his throat and Kame and I assumed our rightful positions looking at each other. On my command the lights were dimmed and only two glow-in-the-dark blue diamonds stood among the crowd.

Kame looked surprised and turned around, aghast and then finally to me who only winked. Who ever said a wedding with Akanishi Jin was going to be normal?

“J-Jin what’re you—” he held out his hand to give me a good knock but I caught his tiny wrist before he could even understand what was going on. The crowd cooed at first but when I had taken out the handcuffs from my pocket, they stilled.

Party poopers, I thought to myself. Kame’s eyes widened, however, and he began to squirm. “Akanishi Jin don’t you even think about it! This is our wedding, not a reunion between inmates!” he tried to get away without much success.

I wanted to ask him if he had known that he had a very adorable naivety, but I didn’t. His facial expressions alone were enough for me to get through the day. What could I do to be perfect for him?

I didn’t wait; mainly because I never did. I took his wrist and wound it up good before clicking the other side and attaching him to myself.

There was no need for him to tell me he loved me first, I would say ‘I do’ long before that. Kame didn’t have to ask or wait – this moment was worth an eternity of love already.

When Kame had asked if I had always gone around handcuffing myself to people – I laughed. They were the same words I had asked him the first time we met. He didn’t remember this, but perhaps he did somewhere in his subconscious.

I turned to Ryo, our wrist newly-tied and nodded. Ryo stood in front of us now and the crowd remained silent, save for Kame’s friends.

Ryo cleared his throat for the umpteenth time and I figured he must have been nervous. The sides of his ears were red and I had to restrain myself – for Kame’s sake – from pinching them and then not allowing him to live it down tomorrow.

I knew being the preacher was a big job and since I had chosen this a week previous, I had asked Ryo to take and get a license for such a performance. I had to know that for sure, for sure, for sure that he was okay with me marrying the man we had wanted to kill for years.

I didn’t have to force him; not at all. He had agreed, albeit reluctantly.

He had told me with a little persuasion from Ueda – more like Ueda bluntly threatening to leave him without sex for a month – he had agreed.

I knew this was a lie and that he was only hiding his real intentions, but I let him get away with it regardless. What were friends for, anyway?

Kame seemed restless, glaring at the blue flowers, our blue earrings and then finally to the steel shackles that bound us together. At least this way we would be handcuffed to each other for life.

“We are gathered here today, on this happy and joyous occasion, to join these two in holy matrimony.” As Ryo began, I heard Kame’s manager and Ayase cheering and then looked at my terribly red fiancé.

My gut feeling told me that he had regretted bringing the two, but deep inside he was happy. He shot the two a warning glare but then turned back. Ryo gave him the are-you-done-yet look and Kame only further flushed.

“Marriage is a solemn institution to be held in honor by all, it is the cornerstone of the family and of the community.” Ryo read the book carefully but it had been clearly obvious that he had already memorized most of the text by heart. I smiled. He was one of the most reliable people alive.

“It requires of those who undertake it a complete and unreserved giving of one’s self.” There were more hollers from Kame’s friends and Ryo stopped, trying not to choke in laughter. I couldn’t contain myself as well as Ryo, and Kame yanked on the cuffs to shut me up. Hard.

“It is not to be entered into lightly, as marriage is a sincere and mutual commitment to love one another. This commitment symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives and still enhances the individuality of each of you.” I bit my lip anxiously.

This was really happening. I was really going to marry Kame.

“Do you, Akanishi Jin take Kamenashi Kazuya to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’til death do you part?”

Without a second’s hesitation I nodded vigorously. “I do! I do! I definitely, definitely, definitely—”

“JIN!” Kame hissed and yanked the manacles again.

There were a few more chuckles erupting from the others as Ryo continued. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong, truthfully, I was merely expressing how much I had waited for this moment – how much I wanted Kame.

Ryo spoke again, shifting himself a little so that he was now directing his speech to Kame. “Do you, Kamenashi Kazuya take Akanishi Jin to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’til death do you part?”

Kame nodded once and said, “I do,” without hesitation and Ryo nodded.

“By the power—”

“Wait!” I shouted as soon as an idea had popped into my head.

Hellos, goodbyes, they were all things Kame and I had. If he was water then I was the wind; I wanted to share this with everyone. I wanted to tell everyone what color Kame had brought into my otherwise colorless life. I wanted to make my own vows.

“What is it now, Jin?” Ryo asked, as if expecting me to interrupt him at some point.

“Jin…can we just get married?!” Kame groaned; his hand was becoming restless.

“But I want to make my own vows!”

“A little late for that…” Kame mumbled, plucking a flower from the bouquet.

Ryo shook his head and put down the book for a minute. “No, it’s okay. Go ahead.”

I grinned in victory and Kame only rolled his beautiful eyes. “Kame…Kame, Kame, Kame~” I sang loudly and Kame once again felt the need to shy away in embarrassment. I could even hear Ueda chuckling from his seat.

“Kame…our love…how can I explain it?” I fished around for appropriate words in the back of my head. They weren’t coming to me, now of all times. I needed to say something, anything to show this man that I wanted him. I wanted him more than anything. I took a deep breath.

“Kame I can’t describe our love, I’m sorry. It’s too…it’s too real to say anything about.” I bit my lip and looked up as if the answer was on the ceiling. Then it hit me. “I guess the best bet would be to say it’s like diarrhea.”

Kame’s eyes widened ominously at my words and I could tell that I was going to be in for a world of hurt. But I couldn’t help myself. It was what I felt.

“It just keeps on coming and coming…there’s no cure!”

Kame looked absolutely mortified as if his friends hadn’t been enough already. “AKANISHI JIN!” he yanked on the handcuffs so hard that I was sure my wrist was going to bruise come morning, but I didn’t mind.

“But Kame,” I said once I was steadied again, “I don’t want to live in a world without you. I love you. I really do. You don’t know how happy you make me.” I grinned, “Especially when we’re in be—”

“Kamenashi Kazuya-san, do you have any vows you would also like to share?” Ryo cut me off, turning to my future-husband. He was still rather cherry-colored but nonetheless he nodded.

There was silence for a few second while I continued to pout about being cut off, but Kame inhaled loudly and said, “I have no memories of us. None at all. And the few that we have made are of those in jail or over the phone. I don’t remember you at all.

“But my heart does and that’s more than enough for me. And right now, none of that matters because I promise you my deepest love and fullest devotion. Akanishi Jin, you’re the biggest idiot but I love you.”

The crowd was on their feet by this point, cooing, cheering; everything. I grinned like an idiot but I couldn’t help myself.

Ryo shuffled his feet clumsily at the handcuffed couple, looking down at the papers and then at the two. “By the powers…temporarily…vested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may now kiss the…” he looked awkwardly at Kame and then back at me.

Groom? Bride? What was he supposed to say? He growled and crunched the paper in front of him, throwing it into the encouraging crowd. “To hell with that – just kiss!” Scripted lines were overrated anyway.

With pleasure on that last statement, I pushed Kame closer and made a beeline for his lips. I wasn’t expecting, however, for his hands to stop my motion halfway. “W-What’re you doing?!” he yelled, “The female’s the one who gets kissed!”

I had never bothered to rethink that concept, but then I did for a second and merely shrugged. I tried kissing him again, but once more, Kame pushed me back.

I whined and asked what he had wanted, but in the end he straightened himself and placed me back to where I was standing beforehand. “Push over,” he said.

“What?!”

“I’m kissing you.”

I frowned. “Correction, dear Kame. I’m kissing you.”

As we continued to argue about who was going to kiss who, Ryo barged in between us. He didn’t succeed because of the handcuffs, but he growled instead. “Are you going to finish this wedding or should we have brought our sleeping bags?” he pointed to the restless crowd, “come on! The license expires in an hour!”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not my fault you were being cheap and didn’t get the full license!”

Ryo, infuriated by my indifference placed a hand on his hip. “Bakanishi, shut it and let him kiss you.”

I gaped in horror. “Ryo, who’s side are you on?!”

Ryo sighed. Divorce is clearly not in their future. The crowd was beginning to become curious so instead Ryo decided to blow off the traditional kiss and just get on with the rest of the ceremony. “Fine. No kiss. Just get on with it and throw the bouquet.”

Kame and I nodded in unison. A moment of awkward silence passed before Kame shoved the blue roses into my hands. I raised a brow. Did he think I was going to throw them? That was the bride’s job. “I’m not throwing it,” Kame huffed.

I nodded. “Well, neither am I.”

Ryo, at this point ready to rip out the strands of his delicate black hair stomped a very, very angry foot. “Lord have mercy, just throw the damn thing!”

I shook my head furiously. I was not giving up my masculinity that easily. “Ryo! He’s making me throw it!” I whined and I could still hear Ueda’s chuckles.

“I held it so you’re throwing it!”

“Here,” I took one side of the bouquet whilst Kame still held onto his side with our handcuffed hands. “We’ll both throw it.” I said.

Kame nodded. “Okay.”

“When I count to three.”

“One…” I thought back to everything we’ve been through. I thought back to the time where Kame was nothing more than the scrawny man to me. I thought back to our first together and even the first photographs we snapped together.

“…two…” I looked over at the man now who stared back at me. For a second our eyes met and I felt it again. Love. This was real, this was now and I was really, really with Kame. We were bounded together now. And not just because of the handcuffs.

“Three!”

I tried to cheat Kame – I didn’t let go. He had done the same. We broke out into an instantaneous amusement and just as I was about to open my mouth to tell him about this, about what I felt, about everything, I felt my foot losing balance.

If I fell, that naturally meant Kame would fall behind me. And that was exactly what had happened. I tripped off the miniature stage and the garland of flowers went soaring into the air. Eventually, I landed with a small thud and coming crashing from on top of me was Kame.

Our lips angrily meshed for a second. Normally people would have broken the hold, but I didn’t. Instead, I dragged the man and brought him underneath me, continuing to kiss him until our lips were raw.

Ryo coughed awkwardly to ease the guest’s discomfit at the scene. “At least they kissed.”

As the flowers went hurling into the air, Ayase stood up and stretched her hands in an attempt to catch the flying flowers. “I want them!” Shige tried to get her to sit back down without much avail.

Tegoshi frowned at the girl. “They’re just roses…”

Shige shook his head. “Not to Ayase.”

Many stood up for the flowers and to try and retrieve it from the air, but they had, in the end, landed safely in the lap of one shocked Ueda Tatsuya. The crowd hollered and from his place at the alter, Ryo could feel his ears going red again.

When I finally finished kissing Kame, I smiled and poked the man’s forehead. “We don’t need handcuffs anymore.” He nodded but made no attempt to push himself off of me. Even in the room full of others, he didn’t push me away. I smiled at that.

In many ways, our lives were just beginning.

The End

◦●○◦

Okay. It’s over. For real, real this time, lol. OK, list of apologies time. First, I probably won’t be on for a while now – long story short, let’s just say the school called my house and my parents aren’t happy, lol. Oh well. Math-cult here I come -_-;; but at least I finished this in time, somehow ^^ and sorry, no. I couldn’t give them a normal wedding xDD

Phosphorescent Lights: Epilogue: Kame's Life

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 05:58:27 GMT

Phosphorescent Lights: Epilogue
Kame’s Life
One Month Later

I felt a little nervous but nonetheless continued throwing in the necessities from work into the cardboard box in front of me. There was no one else save my co-workers in the room and for some reason I could feel myself holding my breath. Gosh.

I could feel Shige gazing at me intently from his seat, still hacking away at his laptop, Ayase’s frown as she walked out of the dark room with photos in hand and I could hear my manager tapping his foot against his desk heavily; cigarette dangling out of his mouth.

There was absolute silence as I continued to put in a few more things into the box. Talk about awkward.

Today was the day that I was finally going back to Tokyo. Jin had already started to look around for photography jobs for me and in the meanwhile I was stuck in the hospital taking check-ups, hearing the various things I could and couldn’t do.

“Don’t stray too close to A. Jewelry,” or “don’t talk to people who hurt your head” were words I’ve heard one too many times. The doctors treated me like some sort of freak charity case, but I wasn’t about to ignore their words. To an extent.

“Kame-kun~” Ayase called me in her usual sing-song voice and plopped herself right next to me, peeking into the box. I shuffled a little awkwardly but continued packing nonetheless.

“Kame-kun, are you really, really leaving?” she sounded a little hurt, but what could I say? That I wasn’t going to go? I cleared my throat to remind my friend of something called one’s ‘personal bubble’, but the manager had already cut my speech off with his choking coughs.

“So ya really gettin’ outta here, huh?” he coughed twice more and then began to rub his throat to calm down his vocal cords. I nodded timidly and he merely laughed, throwing his feet one on top of the other and began to rub his ragged beard wearily. “We’re gonna miss ya, kid.”

Gosh, I thought; had these people never had to say goodbye to a fellow employee? It wasn’t that I was mad at them – not at all – it was just that they were tugging at my poor heartstrings. If I could pack the three of them away with me, I honestly would. But I couldn’t.

When I first came to work here three years ago, I couldn’t remember a thing about these people. They didn’t seem to mind. It was a little discomfiting at first, but eventually we got over the initial quietness when we broke the ice with each other.

I still have to thank the solemn Shige for losing balance from his chair that day Ayase, the manager and I broke out laughing into simultaneous laughter. It felt like we were whole again.

This dysfunctional family of mine – I was really going to miss them.

But Jin was my new family. It was what I had subconsciously decided. From the moment we met to the moment we parted; it was what I had decided.

“Kame-kun?” Ayase asked again, desolately poking the box with a chipped nail. “Are you really, really getting married?” if she continued to look this helpless I was sure I was going to have a downhearted trip to Tokyo.

“Ayase, leave him alone. It’s what he’s decided,” Shige defended me without looking up. I smiled at him as a sort of quiet thanks but I was sure that Shige hadn’t seen.

Ayase continued to frown and even pressed her folded arms across her chest and sat down on my chair.

I couldn’t help but crack a smile at her childish behavior when I said, “you can come to the wedding. It’ll be in about a week.” Her eyes brightened at this aspect. “You have to be there, got it?”

She nodded her head furiously and to the point I was sure it was going to fall off her tiny body. “I’ll be there!” she turned around to our manager and then to Shige, “we’ll all be there, right?!”

“Wouldn’t wanna miss our little Kamenashi-chan getting married, would we?” the manager himself seemed delighted and he took his feet off the desk. He walked up to me as soon as I finished taping the box shut and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“But seriously Kamenashi, we’re all gonna miss ya,” he jerked his thumb to the work-absorbed Shige, “even that kid. This is just his way of saying goodbye.”

I looked over at Shige, who had tried to act indifferent but I could see his red ears. I laughed. I was really going to miss these people. I knew that they were out there somewhere in this world, but at last I had found them. My family.

Perhaps not biologically, but these people were as close as they got. It was going to be easy to miss each other in this vast, vast world, but I knew that my leaving wouldn’t be the end of everything.

I heaved the box with both hands and walked over to the door. I took a deep breath. “I…I’m really going to miss everyone here. And I mean it.”

“I can’t really remember what we’ve gone through before, but I’m pretty sure it was as argumentative as what we’ve been through the past three years.”

I felt myself beginning to blush and even Shige turned off his laptop to look at me. Ayase looked so heartbroken and even our manager put out his cigar and made sure a fit of harsh coughs followed; to keep himself from becoming teary-eyed, I figured.

My hand shook a little as I placed it on the doorknob. “You’d…” I muttered and tried to swallow the large lump in my throat to finish my sentence, “you’d better be at the wedding.”

Ayase was the first to run up to me and throw me into a tight embrace. Without hesitation, I hugged her back. “We’ll be there for sure,” she said. Shige nodded and said the same and god damn it, I felt the tears welding up in the corner of my eyes.

“Come on an’ get outta here!” The manager came between the three of us and playfully shoved me out of the office. “Yer fiancé’s waitin’!” he called as my box and I left the room. I turned and gave him a quick hug as well before running back home.

Seriously, I was going to miss these people.

But Jin was waiting for me, and we were going to get married. I smiled at the thought as I walked home. I had already begun to halfheartedly pack most of my belongings the night previous with Koki but hadn’t succeeded in finishing.

He was waiting for me at home to finish up the deed before I left Okinawa for good. The past month had been nothing but me bugging Koki for information about Jin, what he was like, what we did, and so forth.

Koki was beginning to get accustomed to the ordeal but he never once complained. He told me what he did know about Jin – which wasn’t much at all – but I still felt like there were some things he was straying away from mentioning. I didn’t pester him, either.

“Koki, I’m back.” I called once I got through the front door and closed it behind me. Koki was already in the living room, remote listlessly hanging from his hand as he crookedly lifted his head to greet me.

“Yo,” he straightened himself and turned off the television, “ready to pack?” I nodded and set the box down on the nearest table. A part of me still refused to believe that this was actually happening while the other, more impractical side knew that it was.

“Kame, the second you get lonely up there you call me, got it?” Koki said evidently and handed me the last of my items to stuff into my already over-packed suitcase.

I crouched down on the living room floor beside him and squished in the shirt. “I’m not going to get lonely.” I said blandly and Koki handed me other things, and quietly that was how the rest of the evening progressed.

I could tell that Koki was trying his best to say the right words, but nothing was forming. I tried my best to keep the laughter down but when Koki choked over his speech for the umpteenth time, I couldn’t help myself.

“W-What?!” Koki bristled, folding his arms across his chest in a defensive stance. “What’s so funny?”

I sighed melodramatically and got up to open up the cardboard box so that I could dump its contents into another suitcase. “You’re treating me like I’m dying. Koki, I’m just moving.”

“And getting married,” he added instantly. I rolled my eyes.

It was all anyone’s been talking about for the past month, and even on the news. Apparently Jin was a big shot in the business industry; the president of a company I’ve never heard of. And marrying another man was sure to catch the hawk-like eyes of the media.

There had been countless live press-releases featuring Jin – I’ve watched them all on television – asking him about the wedding plans and why he had chose to turn down the offer of the Horikita Company. For some reason the name gave me an unpleasant feeling, but I let it slide.

“I know that there are probably a lot of people who don’t agree with this and even call it poor judgment on my part,” was what Jin said when the press had asked him about the marriage.

“I don’t know how this will affect the business deals A. Jewelry has with other companies but I can assure you that I would rather resign as president than not go through with this. What I have with Kamenashi Kazuya-san is probably what people spend a lifetime searching for. If you can’t give us your blessings, than I’m not going to force you. That’s all I have to say.”

Then the camera angle on the television changed as the reporter blocked the watcher’s view of Jin and stated that the press conference was over in her bubbly yet upbeat voice. “Well, you’ve heard what President Akanishi has to say! And that concludes this session!”

That had been about two days ago once the actual wedding date had been decided. Jin, being the big doofus that he is, had actually called afterwards and apologized for having to address me formally.

He called a lot, actually. Once or twice a day. I had even begun to grow accustomed to having him call. Usually it couldn’t be for too long because of business, but I didn’t mind. Hearing his voice was enough. Enough to realize that this was actually happening.

I zipped up my suitcase and pressed it against the couch to keep it from leaning down and falling over. “What time does the plane land?” I asked over my shoulders as I stood to my feet.

“You should be there by one, if not one-thirty.” Koki called back. “Akanishi’ll be waiting for you there. Just make sure you stay away from the media, seriously Kame, there are a lot of people against this, you know.”

How many times did I have to hear about how this marriage could ruin Jin? “I never asked Jin to be one of the most powerful people in all of Japan, Koki!” I hissed through my gritted teeth.

I didn’t meant to take it out on Koki, he was just being realistic, but for the moment I’d much rather live in my world of make-belief where our relationship was fine. “It just happened. And I know a lot of people are against it.”

I licked my lips eagerly as I headed off to my room to retire for the night. “But I don’t care.” Because I didn’t. Tomorrow, I could finally be with Jin again.

Koki sighed and began to gather his shoes at the door. I frowned and turned back. “Where do you think you’re going?” he raised an eyebrow at the question as if that had been the dumbest question he had heard thus far. “You’re staying here tonight, right?” I said in my you’re-staying-here-or-else tone.

Koki sighed again and nodded, putting away his shoes again. “Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

The next morning was a blur of rushed feelings, anxiety and excitement. I brushed my teeth, showered, changed and forced Koki out of the guest room and into the shower. He muttered angry phrases at my untimely waking but nonetheless, I got him out of bed.

“Kanishi’s ain’t gorrn anywhere!” He blurted with his toothbrush dangling from his mouth as he stuck his head out of the bathroom.

I walked by with my suitcase trailing behind me in a flat manner. Smiling, I shrugged, motioning to the door and then at my watch. Geez, could I get any more over-excited? Probably not. This was real; and I still had a hard time convincing myself of that.

We took Koki’s car to the airport and halfway through his lecture of “becoming lonely” and “coming back to Okinawa”, I stopped listening and let my min wander off to the things ahead. Jin and I were going to be together.

I didn’t care and neither did Jin, but other people did care. But this was no time to second-guess my decision of being with Jin. “Kame, I’m serious, go to the doctor’s daily and—”

The car stopped and I got out with Koki in tow. I put my hands on my hips as I took out my bag and Koki worked the trunk to retrieve my suitcase. “Koki. I’m twenty-six, not six. I can take perfect care of myself.”

“I know, I know. It’s just…” he embarrassedly rubbed the back of his neck with his red hand as he handed me the case. “It’s going to be pretty lonely without you.”

I frowned at the thought of a lonely Koki. “You’re coming to the wedding right?” I settled on saying and Koki only nodded. We walked to the departure gates together to verify the ticket.

“So I’ll be seeing you in a week. And I’ll make sure to call the week after that. You’re not killing-off our friendship that easily!” he laughed and even I cracked a large smile.

The clock was nearing time and I couldn’t contain myself. I threw myself at my friend and hugged him for a good minute. “If you get lonely, I’ll make sure to come back here to slap you for making me worry,” I muttered as we parted.

Koki shook his head. “Be a good wife, okay?”

I gaped in horror. “Koki!” Just whose side was this man on? He shook his head again and continued laughing as he shooed me off in the general direction of my plane. “Koki,” I said again and he looked up, “bye-bye.”

He raised his hand in a sort of awkward wave. He didn’t want to end this friendship and neither did I, but so long as we kept each other in mind, we wouldn’t. I didn’t cry but instead smiled as I waved back. This was no time for tears. I closed my eyes as I boarded the plane.

Bye-bye Okinawa.

The scenery in Tokyo looked new and foreign but I figured that was because this was the first time I had taken time to actually look around. With a bag slung carefully around my chest and suitcase behind me, I began to search for the way out. Where Jin was waiting for me.

I didn’t get too far before I was stopped by a security guard. I gave him a quizzed looked and they let me pass by without much hassle. I nodded but kept my head down as I hurried by. I felt the cell phone in my pocket reverberating and I took it out as soon as I could.

I flipped it open with a grin when I saw Jin’s number but just as I was about to press talk, bumped into another figure. I figured it to be another security guard, but it wasn’t.

It was a female this time, hair short, and posture perfect. I stood in awe at her poise for a minute before regarding my own slumped posture and straightening myself. My head oh-so-slightly began to ache but I disregarded the notion of knowing her.

“K-Kazu…Kamenashi-san?” she piped up, rather shocked at the deduction. I nodded and just as I was about to ask how she had known me and what our relation was, a bustling camera crew in the background spotted us and began to rapidly make their way over.

I shuddered abruptly and began to turn hot on my heels. It was then that I realized I hadn’t a clue as to where I should hide from the paparazzi and that I should have figured that they’d be expecting President Akanishi’s fiancé.

The girl however seemed to know what to do as he grabbed onto my hand and began to drag both my suitcase and I away from the busy reporters. Panting and wheezing, we stood together behind a wall as the media ran by.

I took this moment to catch my breath before turning back to her. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” I feared coming off as a little rude, but she didn’t seem to mind but instead expected the question. She shook her head ‘no’.

“Be careful,” she pointed to the exit on the opposite side of the airport and I nodded. “They’re savages. You should hurry up and get going.”

I struggled as she pushed me away and towards the exit. “But how did you know my name?” I called out hoarsely, trying to turn around and catch a better glimpse of the gentle face.

“You’re Kamenashi Kazuya – Akanishi-san’s fiancé,” she laughed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “who in Japan doesn’t know you now?”

“Ah,” I called out but she was already pushing her own way past me and waved a little. “Wait—” but she didn’t. I frowned at her retreating back but decided to let it go. We weren’t going to see each other again, anyway.

After that little incident, I realized to be more prompt with my movements around the place. I quietly walked out of the airport and into the streets before I was greeted by a familiar sight.

I felt my heart beating tremendously at the ribcage and my head about to explode with feelings, words, anything.

He didn’t say anything however, and neither did I. I ran up to him, dropping my suitcase and bag and latched onto him without a care for cameras or the people around us.

Jin laughed and hugged me back and even though he was tired from a late night, he lifted me up in his arms and kissed me. I missed him so much. So, so much. I grinned to myself and dropped my gaze as he put me back down but hugged him again anyway.

“Jin,” I heard myself say with a hoarse and raspy voice. ‘I love you’ or ‘I missed you’ was what I should have said, but I couldn’t help myself. I was overjoyed to the point where I couldn’t help but feel angry at him for making us wait a month.

“Stupid, inconsiderate slob! I hate you!” I wailed helplessly now, latching onto his suit as if my very existence depended on it. Holy hell, was I crying?

I couldn’t help it, I continued on with my tears and Jin did nothing but hug me back reassuringly. He always did this to me: make me feel so much emotion that I was just about ready to burst.

“Kame,” Jin whispered huskily as he dropped his head to level with mine. God, why was this man so irresistible? I flushed and looked away. “Kame, look at me.” No point, I thought. Jin forced my head back.

“I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to hold on so hard,” he chuckled at the hold I had been constricting on him and embarrassedly, I moved my hands away and to my sides. “Not that I mind~”

I narrowed my eyes at his suggestive manner. “Pervert.”

He boomed with laughter as we made our way down the street. “Funny, I don’t remember ever once denying that.”

We were silent for a few minutes, simply walking and basking in the presence of one another. I smiled quietly at the man beside me. Were we supposed to hold hands now? I could feel myself shrinking away in shyness at the thought.

I watched Jin’s hand casually swinging by his side as he looked around where we were; his words were coming through one ear and out the other. Something about visiting someone, but I couldn’t catch the rest of his sentence.

I continued to eye Jin’s pale hand as it swung by his side. I bit my lip anxious, unsure of how to initiate the notion. I felt my hand crawling with the yearning for Jin’s, but took a deep breath soon after. I flexed my hand a few times, preparing to swoop in and take Jin’s into my own.

Jin, completely oblivious to my inward battle, continued talking away and laughing and smiling and all the other things that made my heart pick up speed immensely. I continued flexing the hand. Jin noticed this and scrunched his brows together in confusion. “Is your hand alright?” he asked.

I nodded vigorously. “Just fine,” I mumbled.

He grinned knowingly, and took his larger hand and enveloped it in mine. Feeling like a middle-school kid once more, I turned away in a flustered mortification. I couldn’t even hold his hand first.

We neared our destination soon and I had dearly wished that I had been paying more attention to where we were going because all of a sudden, we were at a graveyard. I felt my knees trembling a little uncertainly, I didn’t like the thought of death, but Jin’s warm hand was enough to get me walking again.

“I told you I was visiting a friend.” I nodded; he had, after all. I just never assumed the friend to have already passed on.

I looked about wearily but Jin continued holding on to me as we neared the tombstone that the man must have visited quite often to know of the location so perfectly. The ground refused to cover itself with snow, and it was an awkwardly warm winter but for some reason I felt cold.

Jin didn’t let go as he crouched down on his legs and quickly, I did the same. There was a large bouquet of flowers already in place, and I had figured someone must have already come by.

Jin wiped some of the dirt from the tombstone and smiled. “It’s been a while, Pi.” I listened to Jin talk to the man for a little while longer before I, too, stared at the desolate rock.

Yamashita Tomohisa, it read. He must have been an important friend to Jin. I felt bad for asking, but I did. Jin on the other hand didn’t seem to take offence to my curiosity at all. “He was a really close friend,” he told me. I nodded and slowly absorbed the information.

“Did you bring them?” Jin asked me all of a sudden and I jerked back. Jin seemed curious but I nodded and took of my bag.

Carefully, I took out what Jin had asked me to bring along with me no matter what. I didn’t understand it, actually, but I gave him the two black rings anyway. I didn’t know where they had come from, much less what they were doing in my old apartment.

Jin took them gently and placed them near the grave. He closed his eyes in a sort of prayer, and feeling somehow out of place, I did the same. Maybe I didn’t know the man, but it was the least I could do.

“Pi, I’m getting married.” Jin said suddenly and at the voice, I opened my eyes to see that Jin’s were still closed with his hands clasped together. I turned back to the white flowers on the ground.

“I hope you don’t mind. I’m sure you must be happy for me and Kame, right?” Jin voice hitched an octave but he kept composed.

“I wish you could be here right now. I wish you could see me getting married. I’ll bring you pictures of our wedding after, okay?” finishing his prayer, Jin smiled and opened his eyes to turn to me.

I, not knowing what to say, just continued to fiddle with the white roses. “Pi liked white,” Jin said as-a-matter-of-factly. I didn’t know if he was talking to me or to the roses, but I nodded. Jin stood now and I did the same.

“Ryo must have come by already,” he commented offhandedly as we began to head off.

The man who had greeted me at the airport that day; I tried to place his image inside my head. I nodded once it had come. “Oh,” I said, in lack of many other words. What was I supposed to say?

A part of me wondered what had happened to Yamashita, but another part of me told me not to ask. I gave into my human curiosity and quietly voice the question, hoping upon hoping that Jin didn’t hear.

But he did. And he seemed to carefully think over the question as if sparing my feelings. He licked his bottom lip questioningly and I raised an eyebrow at his unusual behavior. Out of character, Jin fell silent.

“S-Sorry…that must have been rude—”

“Illness.”

I blinked as I turned to the man beside me. “Illness?” I repeated.

Jin nodded. “A genetic illness.” I slowly bobbed my head up and down at the newly received information. Something about it sounded awkward and out-of-place but I said nothing. I only trailed behind Jin as we headed to Jin’s house.

To my home.

Steadily, the days with Jin passed by. I never went to where he worked, mainly because of the media exposure and more than that, because something in the back of my mind had told me to stay away.

And before I knew it, a week had passed and it was the date our wedding was scheduled for. By the time I woke up, rather sore thanks to a certain someone’s wayward personality, Jin was already gone.

I frowned heavily at the missing presence but said nothing nonetheless. I didn’t think Jin would be old-fashioned enough to believe in the entire groom-and-bride not seeing each other thing.

I shrugged off to the bathroom where I readied myself and almost an hour later, threw on my tux before heading out. Something told me that with Akanishi Jin – it was not going to be a normal wedding.

I nervously approached the church Jin had completely booked; I got lost several times before asking a cab driver where it was. As luck would have it, it was the same taxi driver I had gotten rather accustomed to. He gave me a dirty glare before giving me the directions and then one after once I left. I laughed.

I took a deep breath as I pushed past the front doors. It was now or never. I was going to promise Jin my future, my life, my everything else after this point. I took another deep breath and walked in.

Everyone. Everyone was there and I could feel my heart beginning to pick up its speed again. I could see my manager in an awkward brown suit that somehow seemed to fit him, Ayase looking as lovely as she always had, Shige trying to ignore the two wholeheartedly, and even Koki who was chatting away with people I wasn’t familiar with.

Thankfully not many people noticed me at first until I awkwardly tried to push past a few of the guests to greet Koki and my old co-workers. A hand stopped me and honestly I thought it to be Jin’s, but when I turned around, my eyes widened.

“Hello again,” she said simply, smiling at me in her sky-blue dress but this time her hair was done in a different manner. She looked good, really good, so in turn I gave her a clumsy bow and a small greeting. “It’s your big day, huh?”

I nodded politely, trying to keep my mind off of scanning the crowd for my missing fiancé. She didn’t look disappointed at my lack of attention to her but instead expectant. She laughed a little. “Do you mind if I call you Kazuya?”

I widened my eyes at her blunt nature. She flushed and quickly shook her hand and began to fan her hands in the front of her face. “I-I didn’t mean it like that, it just feels more natural like this.” thinking about it; it really did feel more wholesome if she did. Still unable to form words, I smiled at her and told her that it was fine.

“That day…that day you were right. There’s nothing much you can do, but you have much more sincerity than anyone else ever can. I hope that you can forgive me one day.” I didn’t understand her, but my head began to ache just a tad. I wondered silently if I knew her at one point in my life.

“Did I know—”

“You have a marriage to get over with! Go!” She shoved me in the alters’ direction and I tried my best not to laugh again. She seemed to always shoo me off before hurrying away herself.

People began to seat themselves and I could hear the deafening music playing the background. A couple of the guest’s laughed and I flushed at Jin’s stupid, stupid choice of music.

People began to sit down and it was evident that I was about the only person standing now. They stared and felt myself become even more nervous than I had been a second ago.

And far more importantly – where was Jin?!

I didn’t know what to do, so I simply stood where I was. I looked lost and possibly a little helpless but I couldn’t help myself. In a crowd of strangers, here I was and Jin was nowhere to be found.

“Kame – what’re ya doing?!” In the crowd of strangers, I heard Koki’s reassuring voice and took a deep breath. I spotted him again only this time he was sitting down beside Ayase and someone else I hadn’t really known.

Clumsily, I began to make my way to the alter, trying to ignore the embarrassing music. I made a mental note to kill Jin after the party. I took several more deep breaths in an attempt to calm my nerves and finally, finally, found myself in front of the crowd and where I was supposed to be.

Someone I had recognized as Nakamaru Yuichi from A. Jewelry – or at least Jin had told me about – handed me a bouquet of flowers. I looked back at him questioningly. He apologized through his gestures and whispered that it was what Jin had instructed him to do. I groaned. Loud.

Did Jin think I was going to give up dominance that willingly?

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 16 [2]

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 07:05:24 GMT

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 16 [2]

Shackles gone, the two made their way down to one of the police rooms the next morning, fully-clothed once again, Jin rubbed his soar backside. His searing, sore, furiously red backside.

Jin looked behind himself and at Kame who only embarrassedly turned away; face flooding with a pleasured guilt.

The word gentle had never been a big part of Kame’s vocabulary.

They sat down at the table facing the officers and retrieved their items. Jin watched as Kame’s face lit up like that of a child during Christmas as he reunited with his camera.

“Akanishi?” Kame asked quietly as he turned his head to the man beside him who had been picking up his various credits cards.

Kame didn’t ask why the man needed so many or what he did for a living, but instead asked “Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to write ‘I hope you fill your life with new memories’ or something?”

Jin gave Kame a helpless look, “huh?” He placed the credit cards back into his newly-returned wallet and then placed the entire thing in his pocket.

“This engraving,” Kame pointed out, “why did you write this? Did I ask you to take me to Tokyo?”

Jin laughed heartedly and zipped up his jacket pocket. He felt a little down that Kame couldn’t even remember something as important as his need to come to Tokyo beforehand, but he settled with what he had. “It’s not going to be fun if I tell you.” He teased and Kame whined.

Even Jin needed a little revenge from last night’s events. He could hardly believe that he had screamed to the pitch wherein the police had to run in. Red from the remembrance, a part of Jin wished he could forget the officer’s faces and the awkward silence that followed.

“Akanishi!” Kame groaned, willing Jin for an answer.

“Stop calling me that – call me Jin!”

“Not until you tell me!” Kame rebutted heatedly.

Jin shook his head and folded his hands neatly across the table. “No!”

“Yes!”

“If the married couple is done…”

Both Jin and Kame bristled at the remark and turned their ears to the two police officers. They were uniformed and fairly aged as they threw down a file flooding with various papers. “There are the offences against Akanishi-san.” Jin’s eyes widened at the unhealthy amount of paper.

“You have failed to stay at the sight of a car crash, damaged public property, nearly killed several innocent civilians—”

Jin lost the man halfway through his speech, unable to continue listening to the several charges; what he had to pay for, what he didn’t have to pay for and so forth.

Kame on the other hand, listened to the charges against him fixedly and nodded every now and then, negotiating through the lecture. Jin continued to fiddle with his jacket; money was never and so long as he was president of Japan’s number one business, would never pose a problem for him.

“And how much does this sum up to…?” Kame trailed off uncertainly.

The officers looked back at each other before they turned back to the two men. “For Akanishi-san, it will be a total of ¥200,000 including his own car repairs.”

“For Kamenashi-san, the total damage on the taxi was a total of ¥500, 000…” the man with the bad hair-cut continued flipping through the pages, “…and including the bathroom repairs, that’ll be a total of ¥560, 000.”

Kame felt himself becoming a little lightheaded and ready to about pass out. It was as if his life was going back to go forward.

“¥560, 000?!” Kame yelled, exasperated. “Where the hell do you think I’m going to get that?!” Kame slumped back in his chair. It wasn’t only what Koki was going to think now, but also what was going to happen to him had he not made up the money.

Kame’s sadness had always been Jin’s saddens, so Jin looked at the weary Kame and placed an unhealthy number of bills on the table. He turned to Kame with a wink, “I’ll pay for you.”

“W-What?” Kame choked at the sheer amount of money Jin was throwing away. “Why?”

“You owe me.”

Kame growled at Jin’s words. Of course there would be a catch. The cops didn’t seem to care what the reason was as they accepted A. Jewelry’s president’s money and nodded at the two that they were free to go, although probably not from the media.

Kame ran out after Jin, grabbing on tightly to the man’s shirt sleeve. “A-Akanishi! Wait! I didn’t say I was going to let you—”

“You’re marrying me. It has to be by next month though; otherwise I’ll have to marry someone else. It was part of the contract with the Horikita’s Company so I’ll pay you off if you—”

“W…What?!” Kame gasped out loud. Really loud. Jin didn’t turn around but instead continued on his way out of the police station with the disheartened Kame in tow. “You never asked!” Kame yelled, “I never even agreed!”

“Never asked the first time, why should I ask the second time?” Jin said calmly as the two stopped in front of the door that would lead them outside and to the waiting paparazzi.

Kame didn’t know why, but he was sure that Jin couldn’t have been just anybody to have as much money as he did. If the man had to choose between Jin being an undercover mob leader and a businessman, he wasn’t certain which he would pick. Kame frowned irritably, latching himself onto Jin’s sleeve. “Asshole.”

Jin smiled and pulled Kame closer, aiming for a kiss to the mouth but Kame angrily turned to only give the man access to his cheek. Jin laughed. “So I’m taking that as another yes?”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too.”

They hadn’t ventured off too far from the police station when Kame heard his cell phone ring. The photographer threw Jin an apologetic look and Jin only nodded at the man to pick up. Reluctantly, Kame did so. “Hello?” he asked timidly. He shut his eyes awaiting the long lecture that was to follow.

“Kame?! Dear god Kame where the hell are you?!” Koki yelled, incensed. Kame could practically hear him breathing in frustration. “I called the Medical Department! Kame, you have to come back! Tokyo is not for you. It’ll only further hurt your mentality.”

Kame shook his head and even though he had figured the latter couldn’t see the action, he felt the need to do so anyway. “Koki. I’m staying. I found him. I found Akanishi Jin.” His voice was leveled and serious.

“Kame!” Koki sighed in his wearily warning tone. “I’ve booked a flight for tomorrow. I’ve also booked our return flight for later in the same day. Kame, you have to come back. You have another check-up tomorrow.”

Kame’s eyes widened. “NO!” He didn’t take notice to Jin’s concerned face as he covered the receiver and hunched away from the older man.

He couldn’t help it, he was whispering into the receiver now. “I’ll do anything. I’ll even go to my daily check ups. Honestly. Please, Koki. Please just let me stay.”

Kame could almost see Koki saddened face. “Kame, Tokyo is filled with painful things for you. As is Akanishi.”

“I’m sure that if the old me loved Akanishi, then I already know love is pain. But without hesitation, I chose him. Even for a second time. I’m marrying him, Koki.” Kame stated the words boldly; without hesitation, without doubt.

“Kame…” There was light scratching on the other side of the call and Kame was certain it was the man hacking away at the bride of his nose in anxiety. “Kame we’ll talk about this tomorrow, okay? Do you have a place to sleep?”

Kame looked back at Jin who was intently gazing up at the blue sky. “Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll be there by tomorrow. I’ll meet you at the airport. The flight back’s scheduled for five.”

Kame couldn’t believe to the extent his friend was going to bring him back. “Koki! Please! I’ve never been as serious of something as I have been of this!” Kame cried out desperately. He wanted more than anything to stay by this man’s side.

“Kame, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“Koki…”

“Kame, tomorrow. Bye.”

“Bye.” Kame muttered dully as he angrily hacked his phone back into his pocket.

Jin looked at him in surprise and his face mirrored some sort of disoriented hurt. But to rid Jin of his worries, Kame threw on a large grin and shook his head. “That was nothing. Just a friend checking up on me.”

Jin simply nodded, but Kame had figured that he didn’t believe him. They walked around aimlessly for a bit, Jin’s black suit dangling underneath his opened jacket as they continued on their way. Jin asked if Kame minded Jin bringing him to work, but Kame said that he didn’t and together, they headed off to A. Jewelry.

“Shit. This place’s big.” Kame gaped up at the tall building he and Jin stood in front of. Jin chuckled and nodded as he walked up to the front doors and held them open until Kame walked through.

“President, good morning!”

“Good morning, sir.”

A couple bustling workers walked by and greeted the man and Kame looked sideways in awe. He made a thin line with his lips, “the people here are friendly. Talking to everyone so freely.”

Kame didn’t understand how far off the mark he had been, but Jin didn’t disregard the option, instead only shrugged. “First time someone’s said that.” Because it had been. But Jin liked Kame’s naïve point of view. It was refreshing for a place like A. Jewelry.

They didn’t make it far past the front doors as Kame saw another man, slightly shorter than he with darker hair running up to Jin. His mind stung for a bit, blankly trying to name the figure without much success. “Jin!” they shouted irritably at the man beside him.

“You made the front pages, Jin. Congratulations.” Ryo thrust the morning paper at Jin and Jin only picked it up and tried his best to remain stone-faced at the picture taken of him and Kame, hand-in-hand fleeing the scene. “Do you know what the company—”

“I don’t care for the company, Ryo. Not anymore. I have Kame now.” Jin said delicately, making note of the man beside him. “Kame’s all I need. He’s always been.”

“Jin.” Ryo turned towards Kame, who gave the man a clumsy bow. Ryo bit his lips a little and bowed a little as well. “Jin…” after all the years – how was it that the two managed to come together once more?

Ryo had figured that one day Jin would come in with Kame. One day out of the blue perhaps and tell him what he was telling him now. But then again, he assumed that maybe that the thought was just the more active part of his imagination.

Seeing it now, seeing the two hand in hand, Ryo couldn’t help but to think that perhaps there was a force stronger than luck behind the two. Countless blue skies would always be here for them. Always.

“Jin, there are other things to think about, too. You’re president and that’s what comes first right now. Not to mention that if you’re not married by the end of next month…and Tegoshi quit.” Ryo sighed and dug a letter from his file folder.

“Here, Tatsuya gave it to me.” Ryo held out his hand for Jin and Jin took the neatly folded letter in his hands.

Kame remained quiet, sort of feeling out of place as he and Jin attracted more stares than an abandoned child would have. “Resignation letter,” he heard Ryo say.

President Akanishi,

Has A. Jewelry always been this dark? Has it always made this many people cower in fear? In a life without happiness, I can’t live. In a place like A. Jewelry, I can’t work. I can’t fire those employees, sir. They have families. I’m sure that you, more than anyone else, can understand the meaning of family. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve decided to retire as your personal secretary. I’m sorry. A place as dark and evil as this is not where humans should be. I hope that you too, can understand this one day, sir.

— Tegoshi Yuya

“Don’t let it get you down.” Kame said gently as the two walked towards Jin’s house. After taking the rest of the day off, Jin couldn’t bring himself to enjoy his time with Kame even if it was what he should have been enjoying more than all else.

Jin opened the front door leaving Kame to awe at the palace of a house. “How can’t I?! I’ve been a monster! I’m no better than my father.” Jin stopped at the fact that the word sounded so awkward in his mouth. He corrected himself, “step-father.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Kame said as-a-matter-of-factly as he took out his camera and snapped a picture of Jin. “You’re really ugly when you’re sad. So smile or else I won’t marry you.”

Jin couldn’t help it. Despite his inner turmoil, he cracked a smile. If he were to draw his love for Kame on a paper airplane and throw it into the endless sky, for sure, for sure, the harsh wind would pick it up and blow it off course.

Not being able to see where it had landed, he could only assume that it was in a far away river, floating away on the surface. Nothing will happen, Jin thought, unless I do something. He was going to do something about A. Jewelry.

“Kame…” Jin sighed once they were inside the house and wandering about. Jin caught the smaller man off guard and grabbed his waist from behind. The businessman swooped down and took his lips with his own but Kame didn’t mind. They kissed until they could no longer breathe but finally, Kame had to pull back.

“No, Jin, wait.” He muttered between kisses, but Jin’s hunger refused to become satisfied that easily. He kissed Kame again until they both fell onto his couch and their hands began to roam all over each other. “Tomorrow I have to go to the airport.”

Jin pulled away from Kame in shock. “W-What?! Why?”

“We’re being rash,” Kame’s rationally was returning and he straightened himself and his clothes. “I can’t just come and stay here.”

“Why not?!” Jin argued, “no one else lives here!”

Kame wondered if he and Jin had ever gone to the beach. If they had ever built sandcastles with one another. Had Kame ever angrily kicked away the water to keep what they had safe? Did the waves wash them away anyway?

“Jin. I’m not leaving you.” Kame finally settled on. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, dummy.” He gave Jin a weary grin as he fell back onto the plush couch.

Jin frowned for a second. “I have to get married before the end of next month. We’re getting married next month, okay?”

“It was a marriage that’s been prolonged for too long now anyway.” Kame said, joshing his earring and then running his fingers across Jin’s.

“Koki’s coming to get you?” Jin asked, tackling the man onto his back and undoing the front buttons on his shirt.

“Yeah.” No matter what else, all Kame could see was Jin. His heart was beginning to grow hot with love and his courage began to skyrocket. Even in the times where he was lost and stumbled on his way to where he was meant to be, as long as he realized that where he was supposed to be was in Jin’s arms, he could continue walking.

“How did you—”

Jin shook his head.

The next morning dragged on slowly, Jin didn’t go to work and neither did Ryo. In fact, the man came by with someone else that Kame hadn’t recognized. Ueda Tatsuya was his name and apparently was the boyfriend of Ryo. They seemed no better than he and Jin when it came to quarrelling but the two never failed to make the excited Kame laugh.

It was a subject no one liked to bring up, but each of the four men knew that they were inwardly counting away the hours until it was time to head off to the airport. Their efforts weren’t in vain and Kame decided that even if they were, he and Jin would never give up.

Something like what they had only came around once in a lifetime. So long as he believed that they would live happily ever after, they would. Even when Jin was alone and anxious, he was sure his presence would be enveloping him.

That was why when it was time to go, Kame felt himself sighing deeply. He would return of course, there were so many things left unsaid, unread and unwritten between them. This wouldn’t be their end because the two would never end.

No matter how far apart they were or how close they were, they would always be waiting for each other. Even if there weren’t any memories left to sparkle in the sun; they loved each other. Kame anxiously fidgeted in Ryo’s car.

For the past three years he had cried so much because of Jin and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to hate him. Even after all their arguments – he could never hate Jin. Because he loved Jin. Even if there had been forgotten promises between the two, they were still there somewhere, only waiting to be remembered.

Surely enough Koki too had been at the airport and surely, waiting for Kame. They had agreed that for one month Kame would return to Okinawa to clear his old life, his job, everything that was left of his life and then return to Jin; so long as it was okay by his doctors.

Still, Kame didn’t like it. He wanted to be with Jin now.

“Kame, look at me; it’s just one month.” Jin said in the most assuring tone he could assemble with his vocal cord range. Kame, however, didn’t seem convinced and only shook his head angrily at Jin’s decision.

Things like why was Jin giving up after so long and why was he simply allowing Kame to go back to Okinawa ran though his hot mind, but he couldn’t voice either opinion.

Koki chuckled at the sight as he waited for his friend behind the departure gates with their luggage. Jin, too, smiled at Kame’s unusually childish behavior.

The way the man pursed his lower lip in hysteria or the way he averted his gaze from Jin’s made Jin hold down his chortle in fear of offending the younger man’s antics.

Some things may have stayed the same between them, but Jin was sure that there were going to be a few inevitable changes as well.

Kame’s personality had changed; not a lot and not enough for it to be noticeable to most, but Jin had caught the little alters in the man. He didn’t mind it, though. Kame was still Kame.

Jin couldn’t help himself and threw himself towards the man and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a tight, tight hug. Any tighter and Kame was sure that his breathing would be cut off altogether. But he didn’t say anything about it. He liked it.

“We’ll be together for the rest of our lives afterwards.” That was true, Kame thought. And that was what probably caught him off guard as he let a few tears silently slip through his eye slits.

He tried to wipe them away without Jin seeing, but it was too late for that. Jin brought a finger to Kame’s eyes and wiped away the tears. “Shhh, don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying! Why would I cry for you?!” Kame continued to wipe away the stray tears, angry with himself for looking weak in front of the one person he didn’t want to look defenseless in front of. “Damn it,” he muttered, burying his face into Jin’s chest, “I want to be with you now.”

“Patience. We have the rest of our lives to look forward to.” If it had been three years earlier, Jin wasn’t sure who would be saying what he just had. With his impatience and demanding nature, a gut feeling told him that it would most likely not be him. But, oh, how time changed a person.

Kame closed his eyes and inhaled Jin’s familiar scent, tightening his grasp in an almost snappy manner. “I don’t want to let go of you again.” and Kame meant it.

Perhaps they couldn’t go back to that time they had spent alone; that time Jin could still picture, but they could at least be together. Impulsive actions and smiles and all the little things they did together, even if Kame couldn’t remember them, they could do them again. And again and again until Kame grew tired.

“You’re not going to let go of me.” Jin said as he dropped his head on top of Kame’s and began to rub his back reassuringly.

Kame jumped up a little at the sudden motion, eliciting laughter from the other three men. He would have turned back to give Koki a sharp shut-it-now-or-you’ll-regret-it look had he not wanted to simply stare at Jin and keep his face buried where it was.

“It’s just one month until I settle this with the company and the Horikita family.” Jin closed his eyes and allowed his imagination to transport him and Kame to another place altogether. A place away from reality where they could be together even now.

“Plus, not to mention I’d have to make room for you to move into. And you’re going to need a new photography job in Tokyo.” Kame could feel himself become more disheartened at the lengthy list. Instead, he settled for listening to Jin’s current words instead of contemplating on the ones that have already been passed.

“There are a lot of things we have to do before we finish what we’ve begun three years ago, Kame.” Jin laughed at the ludicrousness. “And I used to be the idealistic one. What happened?” he joked, lifting his head from Kame’s and straightening himself.

Kame knew what was coming. Jin was going to detach himself from Kame and then send him off to Okinawa with Koki.

Against the idea, Kame shook his head furiously and grabbed back onto the retreating body. This was the warmth he had been missing in the morning; he wasn’t about to let go. “I can’t think rationally around you. Jerk.”

Koki smiled from his spot, and as much as he hated to be the one to ask Kame to leave, he was without a choice. “Kame, come on the plane leaves at five.”

Jin ruffled Kame’s hair, “call me once you land, okay?”

“I don’t want to go.”

Jin narrowed his eyes mockingly. “Kame.”

“Fine, fine!” Kame huffed and turned back from Jin and towards the departure gates.

“Kamenashi-san.” Ryo called before Kame could leave.

“Ah, yes Nishikido-san?”

Ryo couldn’t help but to frown a little in regret. The man he had wanted to kill had turned out to be the same man that he owed Yamashita’s life to. And even though Kame could remember none of that now, Ryo held out his hand for the younger man. Without hesitation, Kame took it.

“When you get back, take care of that idiot, okay?” Ryo, Ueda and even Kame laughed at his choice of wording but Jin only pouted in the background.

Kame jerked his thumb up towards Ryo in a positive manner. “Will do,” he chuckled.

“Stop treating me like you’re giving away a little girl to get married!” Jin whined and Ueda only scoffed the man to act his age, which caused even Koki to join in on the taunting jokes.

“Not too far from the truth…” Ryo sighed melodramatically.

“Chibi!” Jin shot back.

“Bakanishi!”

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Kamenashi-san.” Ueda turned from his immature boyfriend and Jin’s rants and to Kame. Kame nodded, telling Ueda it was a pleasure to meet him as well. “We’ll both be attending the wedding.” Ueda informed with a large grin at Kame’s blush.

“T-Thank you.”

“Kame, we have four minutes!” Koki informed, looking down at his watch. Kame nodded and then tore his gaze from Ueda and back to Jin.

Under the orange-stained sky they once took pictures of, Kame was sure that there was a time his hand may have gently brushed against Jin and without saying anything in return, all they did was hold hands. Did they get a little closer to each other afterwards?

On his way home during sunset, all Kame could think about was Jin. He figured turning back to actually wave at the man goodbye would be much more painful so Kame just left. On his way home, he thought about Jin.

Being up in the clouds felt surreal and even the old scenery looked new. His heart felt fulfilled if not a little lonely, but at least Jin was under the same sky, waiting for him. A sudden flashed occurred in Kame’s mind, but still the picture was too fast to capture properly.

A month from now, he hoped that he could look at Jin and smile with all his heart even if his love was already so bright. The feeling was intangible and the feelings were something he couldn’t erase. He wanted, more than anything, to tell Jin one more time that he loved him.

There was no reason to feel sad, Kame reasoned with himself. Because they were together all the time and they had finally said goodbye didn’t mean that they weren’t going to see each other again. Once Kame had landed, he and Koki stepped foot back into Okinawa and out of the airport, Kame couldn’t help but to notice how beautiful the sky was.

He took out his phone and smiled as he dialed the long-distance number. He said nothing as he and Koki continued walking and only waited for the voice on the other line to answer. “Kame?”

“I landed. I’m outside the airport in Okinawa now with Koki.”

“Kame, it’s only a month.” Jin said instead as if sensing Kame’s inner worry. Why was it that the man felt so far away if they were merely an hour and a half away by plane?

“Stop treating me like a baby.” Kame bleated and heard Koki laugh at his antics.

Jin paused for a moment, and he had known that more than anything what Kame wanted to do right now was cry. “I’m not treating you like a baby,” he said to lift the tension; “I’m treating you like the stubborn wife that you are.”

“Excuse me?!” Kame’s jaw dropped in agony. “Wife?! When did I ever agree to become the wife in this relationship?!”

“You told me three years ago!” Jin cleared his throat and his voice became very high-pitched for a second in a sort of mocking tone. “‘Jin-Jin, let me be your pwetty wife, pwease!’”

Kame gasped. “I would never!” After the initial laughter had passed, Kame fell silent once again.

Jin licked his lower lips thoughtfully. “Kame, I’ll come to you the minute you get lonely.”

Kame felt the tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. “Then get your ass over here,” he said in all seriousness.

“Don’t sound so down. As soon as you get back you’ll see so much of me that you’ll regret ever sounding like that!”

“I won’t.”

“Kame,” Jin paused for a second, thinking over his words. “I love you,” he said at last.

Kame smiled genuinely at the words. Although he had known it all along, he liked it better like this. “Now that I think about it I feel like I’ve been watching you forever,” he confessed. “My heart aches as it overflows with a feeling that knows no bounds…I think I love you too.”

“Think?”

“Know.” Kame corrected himself. “Jin…I’ll see you soon, right?”

“Our crazy lives together began in handcuffs… it was only rightful that our story was going to end in handcuffs. Meeting you was definitely not a coincidence.”

“Kame, you make my heart tremble that sometimes I can’t even say I love you even though I love you so much. Back then I tried my best to love you, but in my own clumsy way. They’re just three words but in front of you I can’t find them.”

“Our love…it’s a love that came too fast. The way I fell in love with you, it was the extreme speed of love. I…gosh, what am I trying to say?”

Jin felt flushed and embarrassed but he continued nonetheless. The people around him might have thought he had been going crazy right now, but Jin didn’t care.

“Kame, I love you and the next time we see each other, we’ll have a right to argue as the married couple people have always been telling us that we are.”

Kame laughed as he held his camera to his eyes. The night sky was beautiful, truly beautiful for the first time in a long time.

It was true after all; the sky was always clearer once the storm had passed. How long has it been since he had first decided he would wait for Akanishi Jin? He couldn’t remember. But what he could remember was that ever since that day, his life was filled with nothing but tears.

But looking up at the sky now, not even a single tear fell, even if he wasn’t with Jin. Because Jin wasn’t about to let go of his hand.

The love that had handcuffed together wouldn’t allow it. And Kame decided that he wasn’t going to feel alone. Because, after all, he could still be in all of the same memories.

Kame laughed a little at Jin’s words as he took the picture. “I’ll hold you to that.”

It was a beautiful sky indeed.

The End

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 16 [1]

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 06:57:53 GMT

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 16 [1]

“Oh my god.”

Kame ran an agitated finger through his murky hair in distress. His clothes had been confiscated in hopes that the policemen were going to find some sort of weapon on the man. Jin had been no better, sitting restlessly in nothing but his boxers, frowning outside of the cellars.

Kame refused to believe that this was happening. “Oh my god… Oh my god…” His incoherent ramblings must have soon caught on because even Jin himself seemed to become a little restless at Kame’s words. “Oh my—”

“Kame. Breathe.” Jin said casually, his hand still barraged onto the latter’s.

It was a rather awkward position: the older man was sitting on the floor of the cell with his legs crossed and one arm folded across his chest.

Kame figured that Jin had wanted to put the other hand over the first to compete his I’m-keeping-my-sanity-unlike-you look he had been giving Kame since they’ve been thrown in their cellar. But the fact that the other handcuff was festooned onto the younger man’s wrist stopped that.

Jin rolled his eyes at Kame’s misery. “We’re not going to jail—”

“Don’t say it!” the photographer snapped angrily.

This was the other part of the awkwardness. Kame was standing up anxiously, but due to the fact that Jin was stuck onto his hand, Kame was leaning down a bit. He was trying to pace to relieve his immeasurable worry, but Jin’s presence as well as the handcuffs were not permitting it.

When Jin’s mouth had opened for a second time, Kame abruptly held out a hand to stop his words. He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear about their situation – the fact that they had both been accused of causing the crash, the fact that they were probably going to be staying in the cellar for a while.

Jin opened his mouth and was just about to make a sound before Kame cut him off. “Don’t even dare to say it! Where do you think we are?!”

“We’re in jail, damn it!” Kame didn’t wait for his pathetic reply; he just gave it to him. He slumped down on the ground now, the handcuffs irritably tinkling against his skin as he did so. Kame buried his face in his hands. This was not happening.

He thought back to Koki who was surely enraged by now, back to his manager who was sure to have his throat for this little outburst, and then finally to Akanishi Jin who Kame was certain he’d never find under these circumstances.

“They’re going to call the Medical Department and then bring me back to Okinawa! And I bet you anything that my friend is already on his way! Oh my god…oh my god…” Kame further relined himself into a withdrawn ball and groaned – long and disgruntled sound.

Jin, completely oblivious to everything, shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He said simply. Jin looked at Kame who wasn’t sitting that far from him. Well, Kame had no choice. Wherever Jin went, Kame went.

Jin watched the smaller man lick his lips again and automatically, he licked his own as well. Great, Jin thought, I’ve officially become a pervert. Maybe Kame had never been too far off his mark to begin with.

The photographer didn’t notice Jin’s action, thankfully, and instead continued to mindlessly twiddle with his earring. So he kept it, Jin smiled. Even if Kame hadn’t the faintest clue as to what its purpose was, he had kept it.

Jin found himself fumbling around with his words, and he couldn’t help it. He was curious. “Um…” Nothing else was coming out; probably from the shock of knowing that this was Kame, this was now and this was real.

Kame, however, didn’t seem as enthusiastic as Jin did. Jin didn’t blame him. He was sure Kame hadn’t a clue as to who he was, but he was there and Jin was guessing that was all that really mattered.

Kame sat crossed legged now, head lifted and glaring at the businessman from the side of his face. “What?!” he snapped, self-conscious and irritated at the man’s awkward stare.

Jin turned his head away. “How…how have you been?” His voice was hoarse and it was wavering, but he didn’t mind. Jin bit his lower lip anxiously and played around with the manacles on his hand.

Kame squirmed a little under Jin’s watchful eye. The older of the two was sure that Kame had been wondering the same thing he was. When were the police going to come for them? When were they going to be lifted of suspicion? Had they been forgotten?

Jin shuddered a little at that last thought. His stomach was going to growl soon from the lack of food he had eaten today and if that meant he had to eat Kame as compensation, then so be it. No. Jin shook his head clear again. No. No. No.

Kame looked at the latter in a meaningful manner before shrugging his slumped shoulders. “I don’t know.” He said carefully. For a minute his shoulders brushed against Jin’s and Jin felt that same tingling sensation run down the front of his pants. Not a good sign.

Leaving him alone with Kame in an isolated room with their half-naked bodies practically bound together was sort of like being thrust into Jin’s own personal heaven…before being thrown down back to hell. He had to strictly keep in mind that this Kame didn’t know him. At least, not really.

Jin looked around for something, anything, to keep his mind off of other things. “Oh.” So much for his attempt at conversation. And what followed was nothing but a blindly awkward silence.

Kame felt himself fidgeting. His head was hurting greatly but he tried to not let it get the better of him. He groaned again in anguish before burning a hardened hand to his forehead, pressing down on the flesh to try and restrain the flaming pain.

The photographer felt his breathing picking up speed and for the sake of his searing head, had to keep eye contact with the latter to a minimal. “Who are you?” he barked. To make his head hurt to that extent; did it mean that he knew the other man once upon a time?

Jin frowned at Kame’s question. “Huh?”

Kame groaned again and let the hand fall into his lap. “Why are you even here?” he tried to ask in the most level-headed voice he could muster. Quietly, Kame watched as Jin pursed his lips into a thin line, considering the question.

“Kame…” he began wearily.

Kame. Kame? Kame?! What right does he have to call me by my nickname? Kame hollered inwardly. Furthermore, how had he even known his name? Kame felt frustrated at the fact that this man probably did know him at some point. “Don’t call me by that name like you do it all the time!”

Jin narrowed his eyes at Kame’s deliverance. “But I do do it all the time!”

“I didn’t give you permission to call me Kame,” Kame spat back; “it’s Kamenashi to you.”

Jin flopped to his back and unwillingly, Kame felt his hand follow as did the rest of his body. Kame crashed next to Jin’s body and groaned in the slight pain of hitting his head against the cement floor.

“I like Kame better,” Jin said that in this tone that overflowed with this strange form of confidence. Kame resented him further for that.

He didn’t understand why but it felt as if he had heard the words once before and that his life was repetitively coming around in a circle. “S-Stupid…”

Why had it felt that he’s had a conversation like this before?

“But you called me Akanishi!” Jin complained outright, turning to his side and towards Kame. Kame flushed at the close contact and turned away. What right did he have to tell Kame that he had called him such a thing?

“A-A-Akanishi?! As in the photographer of Phosphorescent Lights?!” Kame yelped and tried to undo the handcuffs now, embarrassed. “Don’t get a thick head! I did not call you that!”

Jin seemed pleased by the outburst and only further fueled the flames of hatred. Or love. He wasn’t sure. “Yes, yes you did!” He grinned as he swung the handcuffed hands away from Kame’s reach. “I heard it with my own ears!”

“Clean them, then!” Kame snorted, “I would never call you Akanishi!”

Appalled, Jin completely forgot about the fact that this was not the Kame of the past and sat up straight, ready for the inevitable argument that was bound to come. Some things, no matter how old a person, never changed. “Why not?! It’s my name!”

Kame sat up to, facing the man and feeling the need to raise his voice. He wasn’t mad, not at all, but instead horribly embarrassed at his slip up and at the fact that the man was causing him to redden. “No it’s not!”

Jin made a face before he spat, “yes it is!”

“No it’s not!”

The older of the two groaned in frustration and at Kame’s sheer stubbornness. “I know my own name!” he whined regally.

Their heated argument came to an abrupt halt as a police officer came to their cell, a baton and cell keys in hand. “Sorry to interrupt the married couple,” Jin turned away in embarrassment and at the factuality of the comment while Kame only bristled, “we’d like to keep you overnight—”

“What?!” Kame got to his feet and dragged the lazy ass on his hand with him as he clutched onto the bars. He couldn’t believe it. Kame couldn’t afford staying overnight. Not with this man.

The hysterical Kame couldn’t remember what else he blurted out at the guard but he continued and even began to try and shake the bars out of my aggravation.

“Calm down please, Kamenashi-san.” The policeman with the bad hair-cut said in an even tone. “It’s only until the damages to the road, taxi, car, not to mention public bathroom, are negotiated.”

Jin couldn’t help but bite his lips. They knew about the bathroom too.

Kame seemed distraught and ashamed by the new information and only sunk to the floor in defeat. Jin, now leaning to one side because of the man, stared back at the officer as he said, “you are, however, allowed one phone call each.”

“So, who’d like to go first?”

The two looked down at their shackles. There would be no privacy during the phone call; that was for sure. Uncertainly, the officer looked at Kame. “Kamenashi-san?”

Kame further wallowed into the mental hole he had made for himself at the back of his mind. “I don’t want to call anyone,” he growled. Who was there to call? Koki who had probably already known? His manager who would refuse to believe Kame was capable of such things?

“I need to call work,” Jin said, suddenly chancing his tone to one of seriousness.

The officer must have recognized him as the president of A. Jewelry because he immediately nodded and opened the cellar door. Kame walked out after Jin, trying his best not to stare at the man’s long legs as he did so. It was damn hard not to.

On their way out a few of the other officers gave the two men odd looks; two men tied together in nothing but boxers was a sight to stare at, to say at the least. “God,” Kame muttered under his breath as he heard a few chuckles in the background, “just kill me now.”

Jin walked over to the phone and hastily began to dial Ryo’s number. The man had probably already heard about the accident from the televisions at work, but Jin couldn’t be for certain.

Ryo picked up after the first ring and Jin shuddered at the man’s expectancy of the call. That was probably not a good sign. Kame stood behind Jin, impatiently waiting for the man to finish. When Jin could move again, it meant that Kame could move again. His head began to hurt yet again.

Kame heard another voice from the phone, it sounded rather worried or mad or most likely a combination of the two – he couldn’t be too sure. But what Kame was sure of was that it was rather loud. Very loud.

“Hello?” Jin fumbled awkwardly with the phone cord. The officer looked at Jin and told him that he had only five minutes to explain his current predicament. Jin did so. “Don’t freak Ryo, but…”

“I’m going to need hearing-aid.”

Jin muttered the phrase darkly once the two were returned to their dungeon of a stay.

It was only overnight until the case had been cleared, but nonetheless it was hell for Kame. Kame was still clogging and unclogging his ears in hopes of his sound frequency returning to its natural state.

“I’m the one needing hearing-aid! And I was just beside you,” he snarled, nostrils flaring with rage, “god damn it, he sounded pissed.”

The two sat on the hard bed in the corner now, eyes dropping and in a dire need for sleep, but Jin’s mind refused to shut off. He didn’t want Kame disappearing the second he went to bed.

If this meant he had to keep his eyes open the entire night just to make sure of it, then he would. After holding the hand attached to him so tightly before, he wasn’t going to let it go a second time.

“He has every right to be. I’m stuck here overnight – the media’s going to be all over this and I’m going to get hell for it at work.” Jin scoffed himself softly, thinking of A. Jewelry’s reputation for the first time since he had been thrown in the vault.

Three years worth of time had rewarded Jin with benevolence towards what people saw A. Jewelry as on the outside.

To save stocks, he had even gone out with his fiancé’s ex-girlfriend even though deep inside he had known that Maki too knew that there were no feelings attached to the relationship.

Kame lay pressed up against Jin who in turn was pressed up against the hard wall. Kame wiggled away so that he was giving Jin minimal body contact and at this, Jin frowned. Kame’s “why?” to Jin’s previous statement went disregarded and instead, Jin asked if Kame was cold.

Kame stiffened and could feel his feet giving him away by beginning to shake. Despite that, he still said a soft but self-assured “no.”

“You’re cold.” Kame said nothing. How did he know? I closed my eyes and refused to think about it – to think about him. I even further shut my eyes together.

“Jesus,” Kame cursed under his breath, there was no stopping Jin’s image from crawling into his mind now. He began to wonder why he always ended up just thinking about the man with him now.

Is it my imagination? Or is this serious? Kame asked himself, further pushing himself away from Jin’s warmth. Kame ignored all of his senses and turned onto his side. So what if he was cold? What did Jin care?

“Here,” Jin muttered, pressing his lean figure to Kame’s rigid back and wrapping his arms around the tiny waist. Geez, Kame thought he felt like he was melting into the older man. That could not have been a good thing. Definitely not.

“I’ll keep you warm.” Jin said the words as if he did things like this all the time. He truly is a pervert, Kame thought sadly. Jin positioned himself snuggly behind him and wrapped his arms around the man in a protective manner.

“H-Hey…” Kame squirmed, a little embarrassedly as Jin’s bold movements. He didn’t like how perfectly their bodies had fit together; almost as if they had done this far more times that just now.

“Shhh,” Jin muttered into Kame’s sensitive ears, “sleep.”

“Mrrmp…” the noise just came out without Kame’s permission, but he gave most of the blame to Jin and his sudden actions. His face darkened shades, but Kame thanked the darkness of the night for covering his newly-shaded features.

Jin, however, wasn’t so easily going to let the slipup go. “Kame?”

“W-What?!” He didn’t mean to shout, Jin just surprised him.

“You moaned.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did!”

“Why would I moan—”

Jin couldn’t help but to smile to himself. Kame whimpered at his touch. That meant that, at the very least, his body had remembered Jin.

Perhaps memories were not what Kame’s mind had held at the moment, but at least Jin knew that there were vague traces of him somewhere in the man’s mind.

“Kame~” Jin halfheartedly sang, running his fingers up and down Kame’s bare stomach, stopping at his nipples before playfully squeezing the stubs.

Kame groaned and tried to push the man from himself.

But there was never a point in trying to get rid of the man, he realized once he tried to push Jin off the steel bed but only succeeded in falling off as well. If there was anything in the world Kame hated more than handcuffs at the moment, he was yet to find it.

Kame grunted, trying to stand up on his knees. But Jin, with his larger body, tackled him to the ground and held him there. Kame could feel something waking between his legs but he refused to acknowledge his pained and growing erection.

There was something about this that exerted a familiar sort of need from the latter. “What?!” Kame whined, trying to sound annoyed. He wasn’t about to admit that he was sort of, in his own sickly disturbing way, enjoying what the latter was doing to his body.

Jin didn’t stop; instead he slipped a hand down the back of the man’s boxers, electing an angered hiss from Kame. “Do you…do you remember me?” he asked huskily, dragging his face closer to Kame’s until the bridges of their noses were touching.

Kame turned his head to the side to further avoid contact. “No.”

“You’re not even trying!” Jin accused forcibly, pulling his hand from Kame and to his side. Kame grunted at the lack of contact but said nothing nonetheless.

The man was persistent to force answers out of Kame and Kame was just as stubborn to keep them to himself. He had seen the long, restless night coming from a mile away. “I don’t want to remember you.” He said.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re a nuisance!”

Jin pursed his lips together. “Didn’t think I was a nuisance when you agreed to marry me…” he mumbled under his breath, and luckily for him, Kame hadn’t caught on to it.

“What?” he asked.

Jin pressed a finger to his lips, which only further annoyed Kame. “Nothing.”

“Hey…” Kame crawled over to Jin and began experimenting with his earring once more as if it had been the most fascinating species on the face of the earth.

On those lonely nights alone where the wind would lash at Kame’s window, it someone had hit his heart too. It was then that he realized that he wasn’t lonely. He was missing someone. He continued to play with the blue earring. Could it be? “You’re earring. It glows.”

Jin nodded. “Do you believe me now? That I’m Akanishi Jin?”

Kame growled and turned away. How could it be that the person he had been looking for had been right there? “Leave me alone,” he growled and clutched his head again. Sometimes this was all too much.

“Such a grump…”

“Akanishi Jin?”

Kame clamed his eyes together in pain. Memories. Memories began to play in the back of his mind, but still he couldn’t retrieve the vivid pictures that were simply moving too fast. He couldn’t remember anything, but he could see bits and pieces of insignificant things.

A couch, a camera – but they were gone as quickly as they had come. Patiently, Kame waited for a stream of light that would enable him to look back to the past, to look back to the time he and Jin made a prediction together.

Take away the moment, he thought, and make here and now a new memory. Did his world really have this man’s face once upon a time? He wished more than anything that he still had his shirt to take out the small copy of his own photograph to compare the man’s silhouette to the man now.

If this was really Akanishi Jin, photographer of the picture that was meant to bring about absolute happiness, then what were the chances that they had met once again? Of all the countless people in the world, what were the chances that they had met once again?

Kame laughed. He didn’t know why, but he felt the need to. “It’s like running around in circles, isn’t it?” he asked softly, turning to Jin. Jin looked confused and doubtful for a second and at that Kame only laughed harder.

“What is?” Jin asked, incoherent at the latter’s meaning. Had Kame finally lost it? Or had he finally accepted him as Akanishi Jin? Jin felt the need to know. It was no longer the want, but instead the need.

Kame flumped his shoulders upwards and then down. “I don’t know,” he said, “something just told me to say that.”

“How can’t you know?”

“I don’t know. You…you keep me on my feet. I was thinking about it yesterday, I mean I was thinking about tomorrow. Our tomorrow.”

How long had Kame been trying to figure it all out? How long had he been searching for the missing warmth? Too long, he decided. And it had always been driving him crazy. For some reason he assumed that he would be used to it; but he wasn’t. Not at the slightest.

“Can you remember me?” Jin asked again, merely out of curiosity. He sat up but not on the bed, instead against the wall.

Kame sat up beside Jin; he wasn’t sure it was because he was forced to or because he had wanted to. Settling upon that it was a probable mixture of both, he shook his head. “I told you. No.”

“You know, that day, if I had my way, I’d never get over you.” Jin said softly, rustling his finger through Kame’s hair and grabbing onto the ends, dragging the man closer.

As if expecting Jin to hungrily ask for entry to his mouth by gnawing at his lower lip, Kame opened his mouth willingly.

They parted after a few minutes, both breathless but wanting – needing – more. “I thought big businessmen always had their way,” Kame passed off lightly as he impatiently knocked Jin onto the ground, shackles coarsely swinging against the thin air.

“Well, sometimes.” Jin replied with a halfhearted shrug as Kame positioned himself on top of him. He felt his heart picking up its pace rapidly but shut his eyes to dispel any unwanted thoughts. Kame was not a bad guy; he tried to reason with his mind but that didn’t help his body.

The same way Kame’s body remembered Jin’s, Jin’s also remembered that day so long ago. It was something that he had figured he would be living with for the rest of his life.

Kame somehow sensed something the matter. Something simply didn’t feel right. Jin didn’t say anything at all; he didn’t complain that he was both older and bigger and that he should be the dominant one. He didn’t push Kame away. He simply lay where he was, blankly staring at the murky ceiling.

No matter how normal the motion seemed, Kame still felt something out of place – as if his mind was telling him that this wasn’t what the latter wanted.

“Akanishi Jin?” he asked softly, trying to detangle their intangible arms and legs.

Jin shook his head, knowing full well what Kame wanted to do. “No. It’s okay. I-I don’t mind it this way.”

“You’re shaking,” Kame countered, kneading the man’s trembling feet with his hands to serve as proof. “You’re shaking.”

“I…I…” Jin turned away, embarrassed. He wasn’t about to tell Kame what had happened to him before. He never had before, even though the man had probably figured it out on his own accord. Jin took a deep breath. If it was Kame; it was fine.

“I’ll keep my eyes and heart on you,” he said as if that had solved everything.

At Kame’s bemused stare, Jin smiled. “I’m saying that it’s alright as long as it’s Kame who’s doing it,” he clarified every syllable slowly. Kame only nodded; red, anxious and erect.

Kame noticed that love was near him with this man. And that simply meant one thing and one thing only.

No one could stop their feelings this time.

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 15 [3]

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:32:30 GMT

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 15 [3]

The crazily excited feelings, the feeling extracted when the two were beside each other…really, could Jin have wished for more? He thought it over for a flash of a second. Definitely not. Being together – it was what he lived for.

But as usual, the timing of the both of them was horrible. Seriously, Jin thought, what did he expect? Meeting someone like Kame the way he did, did neither of the two any justice.

Although, right there and then, staring at the younger man like he hadn’t done for so in years, he felt at a loss for words. There were so many things, so many things that Jin could have said. But looking at the younger man in his angry hold now, he couldn’t even bring himself up to utter a single word.

Any and everything died halfway through his throat.

He wasn’t going to let go. Not again. Not a second time. Jin was so sick of letting the fact that he was an Akanishi ruin his love life. After holding this hand so tightly once before – he wasn’t going to let go.

So, forcefully Jin grabbed onto Kame’s smaller hand and shoved the man into himself. Kame seemed surprised and revolted at first but Jin could hardly care less.

The taxi driver soon came out of from his damaged car and began heading towards the two who had looked oblivious to the world around them.

Kame looked stricken as if he had done something to warrant the anger of the driver and looked at Jin for a second in an unusually helpless manner.

Jin was holding onto him rather tightly and the man was closing in on them. Kame began to struggle in Jin’s hold crossly, throwing a fit as well as his fists at the businessman. “What the fuck do you want?!” he hollered in all anger, “can’t you see that I’m trying to get the hell out of here?!”

He continued to struggle but Jin wasn’t planning on loosening his hold any time soon. With Kame by his side, even someone like Jin could find a way to work towards his unfulfilled dreams.

If someone were to ask Jin who he wanted to be, what he wanted to do at this moment, he would have an answer for them. He was sure that he had always run away from things that could hurt him. He’s always closed off his heart, but with Kame and Kame alone – Jin could live his life to the fullest.

The man was dangerously close now and even Jin had figured it would be best to get the hell out of the way. He hadn’t a clue as to what Kame had done to the taxi driver, but ge sure was not going to stick around with him to find out. It was rather absurdly humorous, actually.

Of all the things Jin could have been doing, of all the words he could have told this man, he settled with a “just shut up, okay?” as if reassuring the man that he was in safe hands. “I’m not going to hurt you,” Jin told him calmly, “trust me, just be quiet…”

Jin voluntarily intertwined Kame’s tiny fingers with his own and began to run. They ran, and ran and ran until Jin could no longer feel his lungs. The taxi driver was shouting after the two and even began to give chase for a bit before tiring out. And Jin laughed.

He laughed, and laughed until he could feel himself beginning to cry. In the season when the cherry blossoms fell and during the fireworks of that time without Kame, he was always thinking about him. There wasn’t a single day that had passed where Kame’s face wouldn’t stray into Jin’s mind.

Ryo and Ueda said this was because he was truly in love. But Jin had already figured that much.

Crying now, tears streaming down Jin’s face for reasons that even he couldn’t quite understand, Jin looked behind him and at Kame. He wanted to study his face; how much it had changed, how much it remained the same.

There were many stars in the sky tonight, and once again he could feel himself falling in love when looking at those familiar brown eyes. Even if a love like this was nothing but pain, Kame and Jin were still the most probable pair out there. And never again would Jin leave him.

“This random day,” Jin called back, panting, wheezing and chocking on the air due to his lack of breath. “This random day will be our anniversary, okay?!” It was, after all, three years since they had last seen each other.

And judging by his distraught face, Jin had figured Kame to say something to him in return – a rude reply, crude smirk or even use foul language. But there was nothing.

They were far off from the crash site now that was more than bound to be on the news come morning, and Jin slowed his running pace down.

Kame slowed down too, forcefully, seeing as Jin’s hand was still latched onto his. They were near an ocean and a cliffy sand region but neither of them said dared to say a word.

Jin looked at Kame now, and he meant, really looked at him. He was the same as ever; lean and slim with a hint of sharpness in the edges of his face now, the coming of age he figured – but nonetheless, he was still the same Kame.

He looked a little confused at everything that was happening but instead of saying anything at all, he simply licked his lower lip with his wet tongue considerably.

Jin felt himself having to slightly turn at the sight – how long had it been since he had last felt those lips against his own? Jin wanted, more than anything, to take the man right here and now, but for sure – for sure, for sure – that would scare him off. He was a mere stranger to Kame now.

What did the future hold for a ruthless businessman and a sarcastic photographer? Jin wasn’t so sure. What he was sure of, however, was that whatever it was – it excited him.

He wanted Kame, too, to throw away all his insecurities and to give Jin the rest of his life again, but perhaps that was just hopeful optimism on Jin’s part. The older of the two laughed again.

Of all the times, of all the places and of all the situations to see the man in again, this wasn’t exactly the one Jin had in mind.

Somehow, it seemed as if one of them were always on the run. Or perhaps the both of them. But then again, their relationship had always been purely impulsive.

Unknowing of what else to do, Jin let his grip on Kame fall as he threw himself against the grassy sand of the abandoned beach. “Three years ago two people were abandoned by love at the same time…do you remember?”

He asked the question carefully; watching Kame’s unchanging facial expression as he quietly seated himself next to him.

Kame didn’t even seem to notice the automotive reaction and honestly seemed surprised from the fact that his body had so willingly fell into step with Jin’s. Jin turned away to hide his slightly hopeful grin. Maybe, just maybe, all hope wasn’t lost.

Kame launched his knees into his chest as he sighed regretfully, “I’m sorry, I don’t remember much of anything.” He mumbled mechanically. He threw the stranger a quick apologetic look but Jin only shook his head.

It wasn’t his fault. If anything, he thought, it was probably mine.

“Oh.” Jin said in return, “what’d I expect?” He had asked himself out loud and Kame only seemed to further frown. Had Jin expected Kame to completely remember his existence? Somehow, he had. Even if it was just a faint tinge in his memory – Jin wanted to be there.

But all things were forgotten in time. And a great deal had passed since Jin had last seen him. Was their love really strong enough to overcome that? Jin looked at the oblivious Kame who continued to mindlessly stare off into the sea. Probably not.

Jin sat as stiffly as a rock would with the given situation, but he could hardly begin to blame himself. Years, it had been entire years without this man and all of a sudden he thought he could simply walk back into Jin’s life? Or rather, crash into it with a taxi?

Too lost in the thoughts of disbelief Jin held for this moment, he could hardly register Kame digging into his bag and retrieving a camera. He inspected it carefully from his seat on the grass. At least one thing remained constant in Kame’s life – photography.

“The sea’s really pretty in Tokyo,” he muttered as he held the lens to his eye before taking a picture. “It’s dark too…don’t get this much exposure in Okinawa. Nice.” He smiled genuinely at the fact but as quickly as the grin plastered his face, it disappeared.

Kame frowning only naturally meant that Jin should frown as well. So he did. And then asked, “What’s the matter?”

“Did you ever see that picture hung in the art gallery of Okinawa?” Kame asked him as if Jin had been to Okinawa before. He had, of course, but Kame hadn’t known that much. In the end, all Jin could do was heave a small nod.

He smiled that familiar lopsided grin of his and began to lovingly stroke his camera. “Phosphorescent Lights,” he said, “it’s really pretty.” Contemplating the idea, he added, “I...I want to take a picture like that. I want to find who the photographer was.”

Ah, that photograph Jin had taken so long ago. The one he had never had the chance to show him. Jin was planning on it, but as fate would have it, it was that same day he had lost everything that ever meant anything to him.

“The picture represents absolute happiness, right?” Jin remembered that photograph well; it was the first time he had done something so out of bounds, so out of his right of mind. At his knowledge Kame seemed surprised if not happy and nodded.

If Jin’s step-father had known that he had taken such a picture and even developed some sort of unconditionally love for it, he would have had his throat. He wasn’t here. And he didn’t know. But Kame did.

“Why would you want to meet the photographer?” Jin asked in the most casual voice he could possibly muster. “They’re not professional. They’re just some amateur. It was a lucky shot. There are tones of better photographs out there.”

Kame regarded Jin slowly, taking in everything about him for a minute before smiling. He handed Jin his camera and gracefully, he took it into his hands.

There were two reasons Jin was surprised. One was because he didn’t think Kame to be one to trust others so easily. But then Jin remembered that maybe he wasn’t just an ‘other’ to him, even as he was now.

The second reason was because of the sheer number of times his small fingers must have traced and retraced the callous etching on the thing, the engraving that Jin had put on himself three years ago. It somehow symbolized the unfulfilled promise he had made to Kame.

“I want to fall in love with them again.” Kame said simply.

Jin could feel his heart beat against his chest at the words. Kame…Kame knew? “Well I still love them, even if I don’t know who they are. I’m just kind of scared…”

“That they won’t like you after so long?” Jin finished for him, lying down on his back but constantly shifting to the side to get a better view of Kame. He wasn’t going to let the moving picture of him leave. Not again.

Kame nodded a little shyly as if scared of actually admitting the fact. “Yeah.” He didn’t need to feel shy around Jin; he usually did but would always hide it behind his crude words. How could it be that this man was so different yet so similar?

Jin sighed ruefully, continuing to stare at Kame. Kame started to feel his gaze and awkwardly began to shift away. If Jin told him he was doing this to engrave his picture in his mind’s eye – would he remember? Or would that only cause his head to hurt?

When Jin looked at him, he didn’t seem to have any sort of head pain, which was weird because he thought it was familiarity that scared Kame. Jin let the fact go and continued to stare, “if they don’t, they’re an ass and you deserve better.”

“Whenever I see a pair of handcuffs or even a bottle of beer, for some reason his name floats into my mind. I don’t know how he looks, honestly. But…” Kame stopped mid-sentence, flustered with his wording. “I’m sorry; this must all sound really weird.”

Handcuffs and beer? What was I? A deranged lunatic? Instead of saying any of that, Jin shook his head, scooting closer to Kame.

He couldn’t help himself. Jin wanted him. Bad. And if Kame continued with his act of trying to remember him, Jin wasn’t sure how long he could hold himself back.

“He’s not perfect, I know that much.” As Kame continued, Jin sustained the urge to roll his eyes. Of all the things Kame could remember about him, it had been how much of an oaf he was. Jesus.

“It doesn’t matter though; no matter how imperfect he was…I love him too much to care.” He smiled and took back his camera.

Jin willingly gave it over but as soon as Kame’s hands came into contact with his, Jin grabbed a fist full of the smaller man’s hair and pushed him into himself. Jin wrapped his hands around Kame’s fragile frame and held him there.

“Pretty bold for someone who can’t even remember what they look like…” Jin muttered between his lips and hugged Kame even tighter. “I wonder if you could even consider that love…”

Kame looked at Jin for a second, hurt, and immediately Jin regretted his choice of words and immediate actions.

If only this Kame could remember that Jin never really thought about the consequences of his actions and words – this moment might not have been as awkward as it should have been comforting.

Oddly enough, Kame didn’t push the businessman away. He didn’t hug Jin back, exactly, but he didn’t push him away. That was a good sign, Jin thought. Kame looked good and he smelled good too – really good.

God damn it, Jin thought angrily, how am I supposed to contain myself like this? His breathing hitched and he was sure Kame could practically feel his hardened crotch between his legs, but even if he did he made no comment.

Jin was being vulgar. Damn it, he thought again; Kame’s too close. Jin could have sworn he heard Kame asking him if he was alright – something the old Kame would die before asking in the thoughtful tone that he did.

Jin couldn’t help himself; he dropped his head into the crook of Kame’s neck and simply left it there. His neck was stiff, very stiff, but that was expected. Here was a random stranger getting off of him: hell, even Jin’d run.

Kame opened his mouth to say something, anything, but was cut off by the sounds of sirens in the distance. Jin’s heart picked up a little; it was a crime to simply leave after an accident and he had no idea what Kame could have even done to crash his car into his – Jin didn’t want to know.

Kame pushed the man away from him and hurried to his feet. There were flashes of red and blue in the distance and he could tell that the police were coming. The taxi driver must have called the cops. Great.

Jin growled but he too got to his feet, reluctantly letting the feeling of Kame slip away. Kame turned to the stranger for a second and strapped his camera across his neck. “Since they promised to take me here…I figured that they’d probably live here.”

He said the text slowly, looking behind him to see if Jin was still here. He was regarding Jin as some sort of mirage that would surely disappear if neglected for too long, but who was Jin to complain?

The sirens became louder and Jin found himself shuddering at the thought of going to the police station; he didn’t want to part from Kame.

Jin didn’t budge and neither did Kame, but eventually Kame said, “I ran away, actually. There are probably doctors out after me and even my friend, if not the police as well for high-jacking that taxi.”

Jin tried his best not to laugh at the awkwardness of everything. Here was Kame, after so long, and unlike when they had first met, it was Kame instead who was running.

Kame bit his lower lip anxiously as the sirens neared the two. “I don’t think you’d wanna’ get involved with me—”

Jin laughed at the absurdity; of course he wanted to get involved with Kame. Kame frowned at what he probably assumed to be Jin’s rude reply but he only said, “I fell in love once at Okinawa. And that was more than enough for me to realize I wanted them.”

The sirens closed in on them and Jin could have sworn he had seen a police cruiser in the distance. He swore lightly, and following his gawk, Kame too saw what he had been looking at. They needed to hide. Jin turned back and held out his hand for the surprised Kame.

He stared at it for a good while but Jin laughed at the fact that he seemed to take it unconditionally without even considering the option that Jin could have been some sort of crazed criminal. Perhaps some things couldn’t have truly been forgotten.

“This is the police! Stop where you are!”

Things happened so quickly that Jin didn’t even have enough time to blink. Lights flashed from every possible direction and he could feel his feet shaking with excitement. Crazy feelings like these only came around once in a lifetime and he sure as hell was not going to let them go.

The sky was darkening, stars peeking out from the clouds now and among the mess of police officers and flashes of red and blue only Jin and Kame stood and Jin hadn’t another care in the world asides from this man.

Jin needed to get back to the company to stop Tegoshi from quitting, he needed to close the place for the night – he needed to do so many things but absolutely everything seemed useless. Jin just wanted to be with Kame. And in order to do that, they needed to hide.

But before any of that, he needed to know if Kame trusted him. “Come with me,” Jin whispered hoarsely against Kame’s earlobe.

Kame closed his eyes and shrunk away from Jin but the faint moan gave the older man all the answer he needed. Perhaps his mind hadn’t remembered Jin, but his body sure had.

Kame squirmed a little and tried to disarm Jin. “Perverted thief!”

Jin widened his eyes at the familiar name but Kame clasped his hands over his mouth. “I-I’m sorry, that just came out!”

“Stop where you are!”

There was no time to think about anything or to pester the familiar insult. “The cops are coming – let’s run together. Somewhere no one can find us.” Jin didn’t bother to wait for Kame’s reply but instead fiercely grabbed onto his hand and dragged him along.

“Meeting you again was no coincidence, I’m sure!” Jin called back to the man who was dangling behind him as they took off again. Kame said zilch but yelped at the fact that there were now police cars parked on the side of the road near the beach.

“Why are you associating with me?!” Kame yelled and caught up to Jin’s speed so that they were now running side-by-side. “I’m a fucking criminal! I nearly killed you!”

“Because…” Jin didn’t know how to explain it. How could he? But looking at Kame, the Kame now who remembered not even the faintest tinge of them, he felt compelled to explain. Perhaps Jin couldn’t explain the countless things they had been through together, but he could explain one thing.

“Because the person I love is far more important to me than anyone else.” Because I don’t want to let them go, he mentally added.

Kame didn’t understand and Jin didn’t expect him to. Jin spotted one of those small, portable bathrooms they kept at beaches and figured that to be their best bet out of their little dilemma. Jin wasted no time picking up his pace, panting and wheezing heavily until he undid the knob at the door.

He pushed it open and shoved Kame inside, then himself and finally closed the door behind them. “They shouldn’t be able to find us in here…”

“Why aren’t you with them? Why are you here running away with me?” Ignoring Kame’s words, Jin thought it to be a rather squishy fit but who was Jin to complain? He could feel himself becoming more erect by the minute. “Why do you care if I go to jail or not?!”

Kame squirmed against Jin and Jin felt the need to either tell him to completely stop moving or allow him to let Jin have his way with him.

Kame hadn’t even the faintest clue as to what he was doing to the businessman. Such innocence, Jin smiled ruefully. His Kame had always been so innocent. “Because I care.” Jin stated painfully and simply.

“Why?”

“You ask a lot of questions.” Not much difference from the old you.

Jin heard footsteps nearing where they were but as quickly as they came, they disappeared. Kame continued to wriggle this way and that and for most of the time Jin had to bite his tongue from thinking certain thoughts.

Here he was, red, panting and sweating, stuck onto Kame who was in no better shape than he was. It was a miracle Jin was able to stand upright and halfheartedly poised.

It was dark in the small stall – very dark. And then, it hit him. Jin could see the phosphorescence of Kame’s blue earring glowing royally in the dark. God damn it, he thought hurriedly. God damn it if Kame sees my earring this could really hurt him.

It seemed that, for as long as Jin had been searching for Kame physically; Kame had been searching for him mentally – trying to picture Jin’s face, Jin’s everything.

Jin took a deep breath. He didn’t know how he could be so mellow; standing with Kame pressed up against him and not breaking down into tears. Joy, regret, he wasn’t even sure.

Two people abandoned by love. Was it coincidence or was it predestined? Either way, Jin’s heart was always Kame’s. Jin wanted to hold him close. Jin wanted Kame to be with him.

Back then, even the feelings of a possessive greed made him laugh. The way he had been so possessive of Kame, the way Kame had been so possessive of him. Jin wanted those feelings back. He wanted Kame to love him – to be his once again.

This love of theirs never made sense. “Blinking, losing breath, silence, those feelings were ours.” Jin mumbled to Kame but the words caught no reaction.

“Wanting more of each other, it was always ours.” Kame’s chest was against Jin’s and Jin slipped his hands behind Kame’s back, pulling him closer. “That love which handcuffed us so quickly, it will always remain ours.”

“That last time I saw you I wanted to tell you that no matter what – I’d still need you.”

Kame was so surprised by the words that he began to cry without purpose. It was like he had known and he knew he had known that this was the man he had been searching for.

Kame couldn’t be certain of course, but something about being pressed up against him in a bathroom stall seriously angered him to the point where he was sure it felt right. Kame couldn’t explain it, he couldn’t even say anything.

Kame couldn’t be sure, but his heart lurched and his head began to ache. “What…” he croaked, “What did we promise each other?”

Kame must have sounded psychotic, no, he was sure he had sounded psychotic because the man looked back at him in bewilderment. He didn’t answer Kame; instead he swooped down and pressed his lips against his.

Gentle, unhurried and pleasant, Kame couldn’t help but to shrink away in shock. Just what was the stranger thinking? “W-What…get…get the hell off of me!”

Kame pushed but to no avail. He couldn’t be certain, certain that this man was Akanishi Jin – photographer of Phosphorescent Lights, the one love he remembered in his vague memory.

“What did we promise each other? We promised each other everything.” the man said at last. “Our futures, our lives together: everything.”

Kame’s heart began to beat so fast that he felt it thrashing against his ribcage. Kame couldn’t help himself; it was as if his body no longer belonged to him. He wrapped his arms around the man’s neck despite his ailing head.

And in return, all he did was hold Kame. But it was as if he knew just where to hold, how tightly and how much pressure to apply so that Kame felt he was truly in heaven. He couldn’t help it – he moaned. And then blushed at his stupidity. Kame really didn’t even know the man. Probably.

“Just…just who are you?!” Kame gasped as he felt his hand crawling down his back.

The man shook his head. “It won’t be meaningful unless you realize it yourself, Kame.” He gave Kame a crooked smile, “we were young and foolish and probably only rushing things.” He kissed Kame again but this time the photographer didn’t pull back.

“We’re older now, Kame. We can make this work.”

Kame shut his eyes as he allowed the older man to violate him in ways he never thought possible. His breathing became so tense that he couldn’t even see straight anymore. All Kame saw was a blue light emitting from the man’s ear.

His heart stopped. It was the same earring as the one in the picture. This meant…didn’t this mean…

Kame clumped his head between his hands and let out a strangled yell. His head hurt again. A lot. A lot more than usual. Nothing was coming back to him, nothing at all but it still hurt.

Jin seemed worried and grabbed the sides of Kame’s hands and forced Kame to look him in the eye. Jesus, Kame thought, was the word gentle not in his vocabulary?

Kame thought he would feel bad for thinking of the man so crudely, but somehow it seemed right – as if he always did.

Jin heard voices and he was more than sure that they were from the cops who were closing in on the two. He looked back at the wounded Kame in his hands but he had no time to process the fact that he might have been sick of running. But they had no choice. They were always running.

“Let’s…let’s get the hell outta’ here.” Jin didn’t think Kame had enough strength left in him by the way he was clutching onto his forehead, so Jin did what the old Kame would have ruthlessly beaten him up for.

Bridal-style, Jin lifted the man from his feet and into his arms. “What the hell are you doing, idiot?!” Kame whined and wailed but Jin paid him no attention as he kicked down the door.

“Holy shit! If I’m not in trouble enough from the car accident you want me to pay damages for damaging public property?!”

“Shit’s not holy, Kame. Now come on, let’s go.” Jin laughed at his evident anger and made his out of the cramped space with the man in his arms.

Despite their situation, despite knowing that his favorite car was going to be pounded, that Ryo and everyone was going to have his ass come morning, Jin felt the happiest that he have been in ages.

Kame had quit his constant struggling a long time ago, much more mindful of the pain in his head than all else. Jin saw uniformed cops in the distance but that didn’t faze him. “Let’s take a journey to our future.” He said – plain and simple.

Kame, not paying attention to Jin’s words, only began to dig his hands away at his face as if searching for something. Jin figured he was looking for the earring, but he didn’t ask.

Just when he was about to tell Kame that he was blocking his vision Kame blurted, “You’re walking towards the ocean!”

Jin took his words into consideration, but he couldn’t see a thing with Kame’s fingers shielding his eyes. “Turn right!” Kame yelled unceremoniously. Jin treaded his feet towards the right, or at least his right. “I said right, you Neanderthal!” Kame yelled at Jin again.

“If you weren’t covering my hands maybe I would be able to see!” Jin snapped back.

“God damn it, turn left! There are police that way! Are you asking to get arrested?!”

“You said right!” Kame was still Kame by a long shot, Jin decided.

“Well turn left now!” He didn’t even drop his hands from Jin’s face as he continued to spout his obnoxious demands. “Or do you need me to draw out a map for you, Akanishi?!”

“Stop being so—” Akanishi?

“Akanishi?” Jin stopped abruptly. Akanishi?

“Tokyo Police!” Five uniformed cops surrounded the two, blocking any chance of escape. “The two of you are under arrest!” Kame pushed himself from Jin and growled back at the man in annoyance. If he hadn’t stopped so suddenly, they could have got away. “Come with me.”

The police did a number of his hands as they turned Kame around and cuffed a wrist. Kame looked down at his abused wrist in anger. Koki was going to give him more than hell for this. “Shit.”

Jin couldn’t help himself. He laughed again and grabbed a hold of the other side of the handcuffs that dangled from Kame’s hand. “‘Shit’ would be correct right about now.” He said plainly, cuffing his own wrist with Kame’s.

“Don’t worry,” he turned to the confused cops. “I’ll do it myself. I want to be attached to him.”

Disbelief clouded Kame’s mind at the man’s willingness to get arrested and yelled, “if only you turned left! Baboon!” The cops began to push the two men into their car. Kame continued to struggle. He couldn’t afford to get arrested. “No! Even a baboon can follow simple instructions!” he took all his frustration out on the man.

Jin ducked his head as he entered the police cruiser. This was not good for the company’s reputation, but he could care less. “H-Hey! You’re the one who’s at fault!”

“Why did you handcuff yourself to me?!” Kame pouted furiously, attempting to fold his arms across his chest to no avail. “You could have made a run for it!”

“Stupid Kame. I’m not letting go of you.” Jin said, “If I knew you needed a leash, I would have bought you one long ago.”

“Leash?! If any one of us needs a leash, it’s definitely you, perverted thief!”

“I’m not a thief, scrawny!” The cops frowned as they stepped on the gas pedal.

Kame didn’t understand why, but as he turned angrily out the window he said, “if…if you let go this time, I’ll kill you.”

Jin smiled widely. “Looks like I can’t let go, then.”

“Damn straight.”

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 15 [2]

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:28:47 GMT

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 15 [2]

I don’t want to leave just yet.

“Sir, its closing time.”

I don’t want to leave.

Kame ignored the curator’s voice and continued off in his bland world of make-belief. He didn’t want to leave. He never did, but in the end he would have to anyway.

He stood motionless among the various photographs hung up for display in the art gallery, his eyes straining towards one in particular. Why couldn’t he remember?

His memories had long faded off into the distance. Even at times where he would try to remember the person he had locked in his heart, it seemed a task impossible.

They had left no trace of who they had been. But Kame was positive – certain – that they were real. Somewhere under the vast, vast sky, he was here too. Kame wasn’t sure whether or not they had been waiting for him the way he had been searching for them, but he kept his thoughts positive.

They were out there, somewhere. Kame just didn’t know where. Or how they looked. The one thing he did know, however, was their name.

Three years ago he had woken up and sort of remembered something. He wasn’t sure what it was he was holding onto exactly, but there was something or someone there. It made no sense, the doctors said, that he had remembered anything at all.

Sometimes, Kame selfishly decided that he didn’t want to remember the man if it means that he could forever engrave him into his heart. Realistically put, it had been years and Kame was sure that by now, wherever he was, they were leading a life of their own.

So if it meant that Kame could keep the man for himself, then he didn’t want to remember them.

Like the fading starlight a thousand miles away, they could only look at each other. Most days Kame wondered if the man had still kept love on his mind…if he had still kept Kame in his mind. He doubted it most of the time. Who could have been stubborn enough to wait for so long?

Kame kind of remembered him. In his own way. It could hardly be considered as ‘remembering’ if he couldn’t put a face onto exactly who he was remembering in the first place, but he did know their name.

He hadn’t a clue as to what they did together, what they talked about or anything of that sort but he was certain upon certain that they had existed. He only wondered if they would come back for him – if they were searching for him.

But days passed and he was still gone. Why had it come to this? Feelings engulfed Kame with the morning sun; but his mornings weren’t always as quiet as they were now. When he woke up, there was something missing.

Sound was missing, noise, yelling, morning arguments. He didn’t know why but Kame felt compelled to feel lonely in the silent mornings.

For the past three years he had befriended Tanaka Koki. Kame couldn’t remember the man but he had said that he was a friend of Kame’s long, long ago. It felt awkward at first, their friendship, but with time Kame had begun to grow close to Koki – very close.

They had slept with each other on one occasion two years ago, but that had been merely out of a drunken casualness. Kame figured things to get really awkward really fast, and they had at first, but they ended up passing through that hurdle. Now they remained close friends.

Kame took up photography again, oddly enough he hadn’t known that he had liked photography in his past life, but once again felt drawn into it. The doctors said that his life would be like that. If he was willing enough to remember the past, he would with time.

And even if he wasn’t, he would eventually be drawn into the same things once again if life had given him the chance. They said this was because of something called his ‘collective unconscious’.

“Sir,” the curator came up to Kame now and placed a hand on his shoulder, “its closing time.” Kame merely nodded, still drawn into the same photograph he had come to visit all the time.

This was how he had known Akanishi Jin’s name.

And everyday he would return, without fail, to come and take another look at the man’s photograph. Doing this for three years now, Kame had memorized every part of every detail on the picture.

Kame’s face was there. Jin’s was too, although it was bleeding out of the photo. It was rather dark and only their mucky silhouettes remained in the photo. It was closed up on their ears, lightly touching and their earring very slightly ajar.

The tiny specks of blue glowed in the darkness of the room as if they were the lone flowers budding in the dusk. It was such a simple photograph, yet it spoke in volumes upon volumes of words to Kame.

The curator seemed at a loss and only sighed before heading off to inform the other museum goers of what the time on the clock read.

It was time to go again. Before he left, Kame took a look at his own photo that had been hung up. He honestly couldn’t remember a thing about that moment, about taking the picture, but it had come out rather well.

They were two silhouettes again, although the figures in the picture seemed much more composed and mechanically put in their positions than the first. It wasn’t too dark out, but the two sat facing each other on their knees in the grass.

Kame, or at least who Kame had figured to be himself, sat with his hands at his sides with the other man holding them in place, kissing the top of his head. Shirts ruffled in a rather suggestive manner, and yet the photograph was called Innocent Love.

He read the inscription beneath the photo for the umpteenth time, even though he had long memorized the words.

Title: Innocent Love
Photographer: Kamenashi Kazuya
Placement: Fourth

He had a copy of the photograph at home, enlarged and framed – all the winners had a copy of their artwork. But Kame didn’t want a copy of his photograph. He wanted a copy of Akanishi Jin’s.

Because Akanishi Jin’s photograph showed proof that the man was somewhere out there and not only in Kame’s heart – because it proved to Kame that the man had his other half. His other earring.

On most days, Kame wondered if they were engaged. He didn’t know why. He knew nothing of the earring’s significance, yet something in his heart told him that it was very meaningful to the past him.

He smiled dimly at the absurdity. He and Akanishi Jin engaged? He could hardly believe that the past Kame could have been so rebellious as to walk out of the societal norm by marrying another man. But somehow, he didn’t doubt it.

The people around him were leaving now and Kame too felt the need to leave. But before he left he returned to the first photograph and smiled wistfully.

“Far, far away, like every other night this feeling of wanting to meet you, yet being unable to lingers somewhere in my mind,” he said, holding out his hand out for the picture yet being unable to actually touch it because of the glass that held it in place.

“Am I thinking amiss?” Kame sighed ruefully, stroking the pane that kept him back from the photograph. “You’re somewhere on the other side of this bright orange sky and I wonder: do you still feel the same way?”

He could kind of remember their summer together…or was it autumn? Winter, perhaps? They snuck out and somehow took pictures – did Akanishi Jin remember it too? Kame frowned; he missed the person who was fading away in his memories

Title: Phosphorescent Lights
Photographer: Akanishi Jin
Placement: First
“For the first time, I’ve found absolute happiness”

Kame walked out of the art gallery and began his long tread home. Most days he would get up early to go where he thought he and Akanishi Jin once went. In his photo Innocent Love, they were at some sort of grassy field. But to this day, Kame had no such luck finding the place.

Somehow at the fact, his heart was a little pained.

He took out his keys once he had reached his apartment and opened the front door. He had moved from his older apartment years ago and, with the help of Koki, found a bigger place to live. Not necessarily better, but at least it was a lot roomier. And his head didn’t hurt constantly.

Once inside he saw Koki already in the kitchen, slaving away at his third attempt to make dinner. It was brief, very brief, but for a second Kame could almost – almost – picture Akanishi Jin in the same position. He silently wondered if the man were a bad cook or if his mind was simply making things up.

“Kame,” Koki came out of the kitchen and proceeded to the living room where Kame was now sitting around, “please eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.” Kame pouted, anxiously thinking of something else other than food.

“Kame.”

Even in his apartment with his good friend, Kame wasn’t hungry. His stomach was eating away at him but he still couldn’t bring himself to consume anything.

He was missing something. His life was like an unfinished puzzle; he needed to bring back the missing pieces before he could live in peace.

“What is it that I’m missing, Koki?” Kame questioned rhetorically, flopping back on his couch, resting his head against the skull of the sofa.

He and Koki weren’t exactly living with each other, but it was as close as one got to that position without actually staying with each other all the times.

The two usually had dinner together, mostly at the request of Koki because he saw it fit that Kame shouldn’t be left alone in his state of mind.

If the man had forced himself to remember too much at a time, it was not a good sign of his mental health returning to its proper shape.

Koki seated himself on the floor with a tray of miso soup in front of him. He had been trying to get Kame to eat for the past week ever since the man claimed to have found another piece of his old life – the engraving at the back of his camera.

Koki himself couldn’t make head or tails of the writing and could only offer a shrug and a comforting shoulder for Kame to cry on. Finally processing his friend’s metaphorical question, Koki asked, “hmm?”

“I feel so empty.” Kame admitted, going through yet another photo album. And there it was again. The same regretful face Kame would make when he came across one of the pictures he figured he had been in before. Before someone had tore them limb from limb.

His brows could scrunch together and he’d bite his lower lips hazardously as if trying to place a face to the person who had been ripped out.

“Is it because of the earring?” Koki asked, pointing to the diamond that glistened brightly under the lights. That had been something else that had been readily frustrating Kame.

“Probably,” he confessed, tracing his hand over the small stub. “Its disappearance must have meant that I’ve given it to him, right?” Kame thought back to Phosphorescent Lights. He was sure that Akanishi Jin had the other part.

Koki shrugged unsurely. “Probably.”

“I want to find out just who Akanishi Jin was.”

Koki shook his head. He had remembered his talk with the man right before he had left. He was going back to Tokyo to succeed his company. He had left Kame. He was probably the president now.

And Kame had belonged to A. Jewelry – the sole reason Koki and his doctors had banned him from going to Tokyo. Remembering such a traumatic event as that surely could not have been good for his nerves.

“I’m sure that they’d rather you not live your life in regret,” Koki assured him.

“Did you know who they were?” Kame’s eyes shone with a childlike innocence.

Koki sighed. “Kame, we’ve been through this.” The soup’s getting cold, he added silently. He pushed the tray aside and stood up to carry it back to the kitchen.

“I didn’t know them, not really anyway. All I did know is that you were pretty chummy with this other fella. ’Dunno if you gave him the earring or not – I can’t remember, honestly. You seemed to argue a lot, though.”

“Argue a lot…” Kame watched as Koki exited the room and headed to the kitchen. He contemplated on what was said. “Did I really love them?”

“I don’t know.” Koki called back – because he didn’t. on occasions he was sure that the two hated each other.

Kame watched Koki’s back disappear. The doctors had told him that this had been the third time that his memories had been suppressed. Why was he cursed to live such a desolate life, Kame wondered. Falling in love only to lose it in the end…he didn’t like it.

“Why do I always forget things?” The question was voiced to no one in particular.

“The doctors are still working to find out.” Koki called back as he re-entered the living room. “It seems that you’re not good with handling upsetting experiences. You’re memory loss is triggered when you want to forget.”

Kame shook his desperately at the lack of logic. “Why would I want to forget something so important?!”

“I don’t know.”

Kame sighed and stood up, “Koki, if you don’t mind…I’d like to be alone for a bit.”

“Kame…just eat and I’ll leave you alone.” Koki stated, coming back from the kitchen with empty hands.

“I’ll eat, I’ll eat, I promise.” The man raised his hands in defeat.

“Okay. Don’t make me regret my decision!” Koki warned and watched as Kame made a beeline for the bathroom.

“I won’t!” Kame called back. Even though you’ll hate me for this.

He locked the bathroom door behind him and looked down at the copy of Innocent Love in his hands. There was no doubt in his mind that he had been the one who had snapped the photograph.

If there was one thing that he had regained through the years, it had been his love for photography. But still, something felt empty in his photographs now.

Even his manager had complained that they hadn’t held the same feelings as they did before. He glared down at the other man in the image.

The two were smiling as if they were the happiest beings on earth; Kame was sure even though the shadows had cut off any features on their faces. And, he assumed, at the time they were.

If absolute happiness is what he had given to Akanishi Jin, then at that time, they were probably the happiest beings on earth.

They weren’t holding hands, but their proximity was close; Kame loved the photograph, not as much as Akanishi Jin’s, but he liked it a lot. It was one of the only other visual representations he had of the man.

Kame looked at himself, and then at the other man he simply could not memorize. “…just who were you?”

He couldn’t say that this had been a rash decision on his part. He had been planning it ever since he had seen the engraving on the back of his camera. He, without permission from Koki, had bought his plane ticket a long, long time ago.

I’ll take you to Tokyo someday, until then let’s fill our lives with new memories

Kame retraced the faded words. Akanishi Jin had promised to take him Tokyo. And so, Kame waited. He waited endlessly for their return; for them to take him to where he was. But what little hope he had had worn out over the years.

Finally, after three years, Kame decided that he was sick of waiting. If Akanishi Jin was not going to come and find him, Kame was going to go and find Akanishi Jin.

It wasn’t hard to squeeze through the window in the bathroom. In fact, it was rather easy for someone who had been practicing how to do so without a noise for the past week.

Kame stood on the toilet and grabbed on tightly to the edge of the window and then lifted his entire body upwards.

He could hear Koki’s desolate footsteps fading away and when he was certain that they were gone, Kame heaved up the rest of his body with a low grunt and then pushed open the window with his body altogether.

Sometimes he was glad that he had chose to live on the first floor of the apartment building.

Kame felt a rush of the autumn air in his hair and lungs as he continued to push and push until; finally, he was out of the window. Kame couldn’t help it, but he had landed with an overly loud thud and that was more than enough for Koki to come back to the bathroom to check on the man.

“Kame?!” Koki banged heavily against the bathroom door. “Kame are you okay?!” He yelled again, fretting for his friend’s safety. “Kame! Answer me!”

“Sorry, Koki.” Kame frowned as he picked himself up from off the floor of his backyard and stood to his aching feet. It wasn’t a rash decision at all; at least Kame didn’t think so, not if he had been planning on finding Akanishi Jin for three years.

Koki, panicking, threw on his shoes and began to head outside. He didn’t know why, but his gut feeling had been telling him that Kame was planning on doing what he thought he was doing.

“Kame! Kame!” he yelled again once outside. And for a second he spotted the man’s figure in the back courtyard of the building and his eyes widened in fear. “Kame! What’re you doing?!”

Kame panted and wheezed as he began to run. “Koki, forgive me, but I have to do this!” he called back loudly, turning on his heels and pushing past a few bushes on his way. No one was going to stop him.

“KAME!”

Kame hailed a taxi as he made his way to the airport. He continued to pant as he gave the directions of the airport to the driver. Once he heard his cell phone ringing he was more than sure that it was Koki, but Kame didn’t pick up.

His plane left at seven but Kame was at the airport by six fifty. He brought with him no luggage or anything at all except for his camera and a copy of his photograph.

With a mere silhouette he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to identify Akanishi Jin exactly, but perhaps, as luck would have it, someone else would.

Kame could have sworn he had seen Koki at the airport as he made his way to the plane, but once he had blinked the man was gone. Perhaps it was just his imagination playing tricks on him; Kame was too tired and excited to care.

The plane took off and somehow Kame was a little fidgety. He was sure that someone was bound to go wrong and that leaving couldn’t have been this easy.

Call him paranoid, but Kame continued to turn back in his seat every now and then in fear that somehow Koki or a doctor Koki may have called was also on the plane.

Exactly one hour and twenty-eight minutes later, the plane landed. Continuing on in hi edgy manner, Kame got off the plane. He looked around hopelessly, once he was out of the airport, at a complete loss.

His cell phone rang for the second time, but Kame continued to ignore it. As soon as he returned home, Koki would give him hell for this little stunt.

Outside on the hectic streets, Kame felt out of place. In a city bustling with work and busy people who were in a rush to get to where they were going, he stood in the middle of the crowd without a trace of indifference.

He sighed and began his search, even though he knew the probability of finding Akanishi Jin was slim to nothing. Neither Koki nor his doctors had told him a thing about him. Not where he worked, what he did, who he was.

Kame began to walk, but before he could finish his step, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He frowned but then turned. A man, he didn’t recognize him, but it was a middle aged man dressed in a white doctor’s jacket. His heart dropped.

“Kamenashi Kazuya, right? The Okinawa Medical Department has just called in. Please come with me. It’s dangerous for your health to be here.”

He made the mistake of letting the man out of his grasp for a second, and already, Kame was bolting down the road. He wasn’t going to get caught. Not without talking to Akanishi Jin first. Not without knowing that Akanishi Jin wanted to end their…whatever they had.

“Kamenashi-san!” the doctor yelled again, but hardly began to chase after him. Instead, he took out a phone and gruffly began to dial a number. He had never thought a patient could be so determined and stubborn.

Out of breath, Kame finally hailed a taxi. The driver stopped for Kame and steadily, Kame hopped in on the back. “Where to?” the driver asked.

Kame hadn’t a clue as to what to say. “Just drive!” he shot back, slamming the door and nervously looking behind him and at the doctor who seemed to be eyeing the vehicle.

Minutes passed and his cell phone had resounded. Kame ignored it and then finally, shut it off completely. Kame looked behind him and out the window. Was the Medical Department still after him? Had Koki called them? He shook his head. This wasn’t the time.

Kame nervously fidgeted in his seat. “Hey, can you speed up?” He poked his face out from behind the back seat and at the driver. At the pace they were going, he was sure that the doctors would reach him before he had found his purpose.

“We’re driving at the street limit.” The reply was plainly put and obvious.

An unusual sense of impatience flushed itself through Kame as he unbuckled his seatbelt and positioned himself to the passenger’s seat at the front. “Can I drive?” He asked in all innocence.

The man shook his irately crossed head. “Sir, this is a taxi. Not your own person vehicle.”

Sirens hastened and Kame’s grip on his pants tightened. “I can’t let them catch me!” He wailed helplessly, reaching over for the steering wheel.

Shocked, the taxi-driver began to fight off Kame’s persistent advances to no avail. “Sir!” Their hands met for a split second against the vulgar steering wheel before Kame’s began to dominate and take over.

“Mmmrh!” He struggled helplessly against the driver’s pushes and pulls, but sheer determination allowed the normally hesitant Kame to continue. “Just let go and let me drive!” He growled in frustration as the man’s unrelenting hands returned, covering his own.

“Sir! I’ll call the cops!” The driver warned crossly. “Let go!”

“Go ahead!” Kame cried out bitterly as he took the wheel once more. “What more do I have to lose?!” He didn’t have Akanishi Jin, Koki was sure to hate him for this; the police were nothing in comparison.

“Watch out!” The driver called out again, disorientated at Kame’s destructiveness.

Kame growled lowly, shoving the man’s hands out of the way and taking charge of the vehicle’s direction. “Shut it!”

“I’m calling the cops!”

“Go a damn head!”

The driver gaped in horror as he turned out the window. Objects were passing by at a crazy speed and he felt his throat lurking up his esophagus but finally, he managed a very loud and deranged, “SIR!”

Kame further frowned, stretching from his seat in an unevenly balanced manner, continuing to steer without permission. “I said you can go ahead and call the police! I don’t give a damn!” He yelled in an abrupt confirmation, taking his eyes off the road for a second – a mere second.

The driver completely let go of the wheel and ducked. “WHAT OUT!”

Kame’s eyes widened and he hardly had a moment to prepare himself for the oncoming impact. “AHH!” he screamed but refused to close his eyes out of fear, trying to steer the car away at the last possible minute.

There was another car, a red one who was greatly surpassing the speed limit on their own accord. They were going too fast, Kame deducted, and as was he. Two men, under the same sky, impulsively speeding for their own reasons.

Kame didn’t even have enough time to register the fact that the light had changed color for the worse before he had stepped on the gas pedal. The red car did the same and…

…they crashed.

Kame wondered where he had first met Akanishi Jin. He couldn’t picture where it was exactly, what they had done, or what they had been through together, but they had met someplace. He was sure of that much.

And even though Kame couldn’t see him now, he could try to remember the time they watched the fireworks that lit up the sky. If they had even done such a thing. Things were too vague and fast-moving for the man to recall.

He wanted to run; to run to Akanishi Jin’s place right now. He was scared, sure, but thinking of him – it’d be fine.

Kame, coming back to his sense, felt like he had passed out for a minute while having another out-of-body experience altogether. He blinked once and then twice more to make sure that he was still alive.

The taxi was totaled and parts of the door were coming undone, the front was smashed and the trunk was beat. The green and white car itself was parked angrily across a sidewalk where the innocent pedestrians were now lurking and screaming.

Thankfully, no one else had been hurt.

Kame looked out for the other car. The red one. It too had been totaled; completely destroyed with the trunk itself almost ripping apart. Koki must have long informed the Tokyo Medical Department because all of a sudden, the man could see a doctor.

Or maybe it was just an ordinary man in white, Kame couldn’t be sure.

He was sure, however, that he would rather die than taking his chances. He was close now. He could almost feel it. He was in Tokyo and Akanishi Jin was there somewhere.

No matter what, Kame was not going home until he had finally talked to the man, until the man had finally told him that he had moved on without Kame. Until then, Kame wasn’t ready to move on.

It was by loving Akanishi Jin that he learned love could be bitter. Kame was sure that being with Akanishi Jin must have been the first time I’d cried for someone else.

He stomped out of his car ready to make a break for it, but the man in the red car had long come out and was hastily making his way over to Kame. Kame avoided eye contact and began his mad-dash across the flat plain of ground.

He tried to run past the man who had recklessly crashed into him – Kame didn’t want to think of it as him crashing into the man, after all the latter played a role in it as well. Before Kame could make it past their guard he grabbed a hold of his arm and held him in place.

“W-What the hell do you want?! Can’t you see you’ve already ruined my ride?!” He blurted out in his frustration. He wiggled against the hold. “Let go of me! Have your insurance company pay the bills—”

The man harshly yanked Kame across the arm, Kame wasn’t sure if he was meaning to inflict pain, but he had. And even though his hands had come nowhere near it, it was his head that hurt the most.

Nervous chatter, excited feelings, extreme heartbeats – those were the feelings that belonged only to them. These were the feelings that would always, without fail, belong only to them.

The man who was driving the red car cupped a hand over his mouth in complete and utter shock. His hear beat began to pick up speed dangerously, his head was swiveling with possibility, and for some reason, he could feel his entire dinner crawling up his throat in shock.

He said nothing for the longest time and steadily sirens began to fill the background. Kame continued to struggle in his hold, angrily spitting rude remarks and in a dire need to escape. He didn’t know why, but finally all the man managed was a strangled,

“K-Kame?!”

No matter how thick the crowd, Jin could always find Kame. And here he was – the one with a simple smile, yet hesitant hand and besieged body.

Those exciting feelings; they were still here.

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 15 [1]

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:26:49 GMT

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 15 [1]
Three Years Later

“The president’s making his way over here!”

A random voice filled with nothing but raw fear voiced loudly, and at the mention of those words a few of the employee’s faces fell. The cheerful chatter, the hearty atmosphere that had been there a second ago, left.

“President, good morning.”

“Good morning, sir.”

“President! Good morning.”

Jin ignored the uncooked tones and hurried to push his way through the eager employees. He didn’t want to put up with this useless twaddle in the early morning. He made no action to return the greetings as he and his secretary made their way past the staff and headed to his office.

Irritably, he shut the door behind him as his secretary, too, made his way inside. “Jesus,” he let out an exasperated breath, “I want those three fired, do you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.” Tegoshi nodded and made his way out of the office to begin processing the information. Once he had shut the door behind him and was certain there was no one else around, he sighed numbly.

It had been three years since A. Jewelry had been given over to Jin, and somehow, Tegoshi saw this change the man. He hadn’t known him well before, but from the random chatters around the company, he had enough information to develop this fact.

The tyrannous Kitagawa Johnny’s life had been lost to both a mixture of age and lifelong illness and ever since then, it was his step-son, Akanishi Jin, who had retuned to inevitably succeed A. Jewelry.

There were rumors floating around about the ex-CEO’s life at Okinawa but nothing was confirmed for certain. No one, of course, dared to ask the president himself – not even Tegoshi. Although, he had already had his own theories.

Without permission, Akanishi Jin fell in love with a mere commoner but in the end was forced back to Tokyo due to his inevitable connections with A. Jewelry. But Tegoshi didn’t think that Jin was forced back, instead it was something he had chosen on his own accord.

When he had first come back, workers all over the company had rejoiced. Akanishi Jin, the easygoing, playful, and determined Akanishi Jin would be able not only to solve their financial crisis but also becoming the thoughtful president A. Jewelry needed.

The villainous A. Jewelry would be no more after Kitagawa’s reign. They were wrong.

But Jin never married Horikita Maki, even though the two had gone out for half a year after Jin’s return. Still, the two companies had merged nonetheless. It was something everyone thought was for certain – that the two would be married and become the couple of envy across the world.

But they never married.

In fact, they had broken up after nearly seven months of dating. When Jin terminated the relationship, Tegoshi was shocked. Ryo and Ueda, however, were not.

“He never loved her,” Ryo told him one day. “He only went out with her for the sake of the company.” He had thrown Tegoshi the files upon files of proof as well as the agreement that was reached between the two enterprises.

After exactly seven months, the deal would be finalized. After seven months, Jin was free to do as he pleased. Tegoshi never thought that Jin could have been so cunningly cruel, but he was. The utopia the workers had assumed would come with the new president was non-existent.

The first rule the man had put back into place when he had returned was the law that had outlawed radioactive products, namely phosphorescence. Ironically, even though the president himself wore a phosphorescent earring, no one dared to say a thing about the rule.

The ‘Jin’ that had existed three years ago was gone.

When Tegoshi had first come to work at A. Jewelry it had been as a mere low-ranked staff member, but within time his ranks had increased dramatically. Some said it was because he had been dubbed the president’s unconditional ‘favorite’.

Some days – it hadn’t happened for a long time – but some days when Tegoshi passed by the president’s locked office, he could hear muffled sobs that somehow pierced his heart.

He knew what the president wore around the building had been nothing more than a frontage, he had always known this, but to actually hear the totalitarian leader cry was in another world altogether.

They were endless and came in fat gallons and when Jin’s tears had finished, he’d cry another couple of times. Tegoshi didn’t know why. No one in the company did. No one aside Nishikido Ryo and Ueda Tatsuya. But no one dared to ask.

Sometimes, Tegoshi was convinced that the president had been waiting for something; blankly staring out an opened window with his mouth slightly ajar during business meetings.

Ryo had once told Tegoshi that Jin was just stubborn enough to use up a lifetime of longing just waiting for ‘them’ to appear.

Tegoshi couldn’t make head or tails of this aspect. The president he knew was the impatient autocrat, Akanishi Jin. Not the sloppy, easy-going Akanishi Jin who would wait a lifetime for something that wasn’t coming.

“The tear-swept feelings have been buried years ago,” Tegoshi recalled what he thought at the time to be Ryo’s harsh words, “there’s no reason for him to think he can stay on the sidelines of reincarnation.”

The words themselves made very little sense to Tegoshi, but he figured that perhaps the president took them to heart. He couldn’t be sure.

In the president’s office, he recalled now, there had been a photograph hung up. Some sort of prize-winning picture taken in Okinawa – he wasn’t keen on all the details. Once again, they were only from the gossip that drifted around the company.

Some rumors said that the president himself had been the one to take it; other’s said it was by his mysterious lover in Okinawa – if there had even been one.

Nothing was for certain, but Tegoshi believed that it was president himself who had taken it. He had asked the CEO, Nishikido Ryo, but his answer remained vague. He had even been curious enough to try and ask general manager Ueda, but once again the answer wasn’t clear.

It was something that he’d have to ask Jin, they said.

Scruffily, Tegoshi walked down the halls of A. Jewelry and towards his own office to begin filing the president’s request.

He hadn’t known if A. Jewelry had been this cheerless under Kitagawa’s reign; it was something he thought about from time to time.

How could a company with such a sad purpose be so infamous to the outside world, yet so notorious to those actually working in it?

Tegoshi opened the door to his own office and scrunched his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting of the place. Had this place always been so lightless?

Listlessly, he propped his flat body against his chair and began to take out the three employee’s files. He hadn’t known them personally, now scanning through the names and the identification pictures, but that hadn’t made his job any easier.

Tegoshi wondered if these people had families, if they were husbands or brothers, sons, fathers. In the end, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself up to fire three innocent people who had done nothing at all but warrant the president’s usually grumpy mood with their greetings.

He put the files back and took out his own piece of paper and the pen from his business suit. It had been coming for a while and no matter how much he had liked talking to both the CEO and the general manager, Tegoshi knew that he could no longer do any of it.

And so, he wrote. His fingers were aching by the time he had finished and he was unsure of how much time had passed, exactly. Albeit feeling relived, he felt a little nervous.

The abrupt knock on the door didn’t help ease Tegoshi’s nerves as he nearly jumped out of his chair, grabbing onto the edge of the desk to balance himself.

The knocker didn’t waste their time with formalities or introducing themselves as they pushed through the door with their threateningly black business suit being the only thing Tegoshi could use to identify them.

He hid the letter under his desk. “Y-Yes?”

“I’m heading out.” Jin’s tone was its usual calm, emotionless self.

Tegoshi’s fingers shook a little as he made quick work to open a drawer and silently shove the letter inside. “Is that so?”

Jin nodded brusquely from his position at the door. “Yes, so don’t try to look for me in my office. I’ll be back later.”

“Okay.”

Jin didn’t bother to close the door behind him as he left, leaving it lightly ajar and Tegoshi finally let out the shaky breath he had been holding, squeezing his fingers and forcing them motionless.

He didn’t want to fire the employees. He couldn’t tell Jin this. He also didn’t care if it would cost him his own job; Tegoshi shoved the letter back into its rightful place atop the desk and stood up.

It was coming and it was coming by a long shot. He was really going to miss the few people he had befriended in the company, too: Ryo, Ueda, Nakamaru and Taguchi.

On his way out of the dark office, Tegoshi stopped at the door and flickered on the lights. He was going to leave this place.

He smiled wistfully at the letter of resignation he had been hiding on the desk and turned to head out. A. Jewelry was too dark for him.

Jin made his way back to his large, overpriced office and let out the sigh he had been holding for too long. He heard some shuffling in his secretary’s office but he paid it no attention.

He grabbed the car keys he had instructed someone to leave on his desk and his jacket before making his way out of his office. At the door he paused for a moment to look back at the photograph hanging on the back wall.

He smiled ruefully. That happiness had been too long ago.

Jin miserably made his way out of the building and to his car, being respectfully greeted on his way out. As he had been doing for the past couple of years, he ignored the gestures. They were of no use to him if they were not from Kame.

Three years ago, he promised himself he’d wait. Despite Ryo’s apathy on the matter or Tanaka’s omnipotent presence, Jin promised himself he’d wait for Kame. He already knew the reason why Kame was being silent on the other side of the country. Because Jin had been erased from his life.

Sometimes Jin had wondered if it had accurately been three years since he had last laid eyes on the latter. It didn’t seem possible.

Jin couldn’t remember if that much time had truly passed. The happiness he held in the palm of his hand – had it really been that long ago?

Waking up next to Kame, arguing with Kame, learning more about Kame, being handcuffed to Kame, falling in love with Kame…why was it that that time seemed unreachable to Jin now?

“Jin!”

Jin stopped mid-step and reluctantly turned back. If it were another worker, he had had better things to do. But as soon as the voice registered into his head, he hauled a small sigh of relief. “Oh…Ryo…hey.” He muttered.

Jin slowed and stopped in the hall, allowing his best friend to catch up to him. “Jin, you realize you only have a month right?” blunt and as to the point as ever, Jin thought.

He frowned wearily and ran a hand through his hair. “Ryo, do you seriously have to bring this up every time we talk? God.” Issues as big as this, Ryo never seemed to let go. Jin figured he had a right to, as a friend, but then again there were days Jin simply did not want to hear about it.

Ryo sighed. “I’m only thinking about it because you aren’t. I don’t want you to throw your life away.”

Jin waved away the offer and began to walk past Ryo. “Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all. I’ll do something about it, so don’t worry.”

Ryo sighed hopelessly at his friend’s casualness on the subject. “If you say so,” he began off after Jin, “but don’t come crying to me in a month.”

“I haven’t cried in years, you know.” Jin stated plainly, opening the doors to the outside now.

Liar. Ryo sighed for the umpteenth time that day. “Oh really?”

Jin closed his eyes painfully as he stood at the front doors now. He ignored the couple of by-passing employees giving their greetings, but Ryo had returned them.

Jin pursed his lips in a thin line. “Ryo, I appreciate your concern but I don’t want to marry anyone any time soon.”

Ryo opened his mouth to interject, but Jin raised a hand. “No – before you say anything, I know, I know that the agreement was to either make Horikita my bride or get one of my own if I was to dump her, but seriously – I’ll do something about it.”

“The Horikita Company won’t go back on their word Jin; you have until the end of this month. There’s no point in waiting for Kamenashi.” There was no point in trying to hide the fact anymore.

Jin laughed a little, “anyways I’m going out for a ride. G’luck with Tatsuya!”

At the mention of his boyfriend, Ryo flushed a bright pink extracting a few giggles from the passing-by female staff. “H-H-Hey! Geez.” He mumbled, “Avoiding the subject as always…” he sighed again seeing no point in trying to reason with the man.

“Come back soon, Bakanishi!” Ryo called as Jin left.

“I will, Chibi!”

Ryo pouted a little as the females continued to chuckle and walk by. “S-Shut it…”

Outside now, Jin absentmindedly played with the diamond stub on his ear, aimlessly walking towards his car.

When he was at a loss, he would always go driving through the congested streets of Tokyo without much destination. He didn’t need anyone to comfort him. When he became lonely, he’d drive around by himself.

Oddly, he had thought he would develop some sort of fear driving the same red car he had repaired – but he didn’t. That day was a simple, bitter memory now. Just what Kame had been missing. Memories.

In his car now, Jin inattentively continued to fiddle with the earring he had refused to take off, caressing the etched patterns warily.

He knew the Kame now didn’t love him, so that day three years ago, Jin chose to leave without looking back. Before it became dark, he learned to be indifferent.

He promised himself many things. One was that he’d be brave in breaking up. He’d walk away alone. A. Jewelry was in dire need and no matter how much Jin had hated the revolting company, he still felt that sense of duty Ryo knew he would.

Family wasn’t something you just forgot – no matter how much you wanted to.

Sometimes he cursed his friend for being as knowledgeable as he was. Sometimes he was grateful for Ryo’s revived company. Sometimes his feelings for the man were neutral. Sometimes he wanted to simply confide everything in him.

But he didn’t want Ryo to worry about him after dark. After dark, he’d choose to be by himself.

He remembered telling Ryo about Kame’s ring about a year ago. It had been a casual thing that he had simply remembered out of the blue one day. Thinking back now, he had also left his ring with Kame.

He had thought that the information would be nothing more than a meaningless drawl, but Ryo had taken the words to heart.

“You mean Pi’s ring?!”He cried, unsure of how to take the new information.

Jin shrugged, “yeah.”

“Are you sure?! Are you serious?!”

Jin scrunched his face in confusion. What was Ryo being so upbeat about? “Yes. Positive. It was Pi’s. I know it was.”

“Fuck.”

“What?”

“Fucking hell!”

“What?!”

“Are you telling me Kamenashi saved Pi?!” He cried, desperately grabbing a hold of Jin’s collar. “You have got to be kidding me. Jin, tell me you’re kidding me.”

Jin made no attempt to undo the hold. It was comforting in its own twisted way. But he had to admit, he was rather confused. “Ryo what’re you talking about?”

To Jin, love was a tricky word. He wasn’t even sure how one syllable could hold as much meaning as it did. He believed that true love, like what he and Kame had, could not have been truly forgotten; only stored separately for a time.

So Jin had saved Kame who in turn saved Yamashita, who, finally, in turn saved Jin. Although Jin wasn’t sure he could count what he had done as truly ‘saving’ Kame, seeing as his hold on the younger boy had loosened at the last possible minute.

The hope Jin had been seeking…why was it that it always ended in disappointment?

He was sure that their meeting had not been mere coincidence. They were too different yet connected in so many ways for it to be a coincidence.

His life had been fulfilled with Kame. He had found the answers to questions he never thought he would. His life goal, which had been revenge for Yamashita’s sake, had turned out to be future. Kame was his future.

Jin continued driving and even though he should have been concerning himself with matters such as work and stock levels, all his mind could think of was Kame.

Right now, Jin could only gaze at the faraway starlight and wish that, somehow, Kame was still thinking of him.

But then again, even if a sky full of stars were to give Jin a thousand wishes, he would, without hesitation, exchange them all just to have Kame always be by his side.

Some days he tried to hate Kame for forgetting him. Some days he tried to disregard him completely. Most days he had found either option rendered useless by the thought of Kame’s smile.

The last thing he could have done for Kame was wish him an easy recovery. For that, Jin did the only thing he could do. After he had left the hospital, he had gone to Kame’s apartment for the last time, taken the man’s camera and deleted everything.

Every picture, every memory. And he deleted them all.

He figured it would be a lot easier that way. That way Kame would live his life the way he had wanted to and if he had wanted to, come looking for Jin.

In the mornings, he woke up alone wondering where Kame was at that time, who he was with, what he was doing. He wanted to ask Kame if he had remembered him; even the slightest memory of them was fine.

Jin parked his car for a moment and sighed. He was, once again, at a loss. Times like these were the ones wherein the man would sit down and wonder what sort of arguments he and Kame would be having right now.

“Probably complaining about my laziness.” Jin smiled remorsefully at the thought. A ‘thank you’ or a ‘sorry’, which one should it have been? Jin figured both would have been fine. But in the end Jin couldn’t say either. He couldn’t tell Kame either.

Even the miracle of being with Kame for two minutes lingers in his heart. What the photographer gave him then was more precious than anything else.

Tired, Jin sat down dejectedly. Why couldn’t Kame be here? Jin though that he’d definitely be yelling at him to quit being indolent and running away from everything.

They could even talk about something…anything. Even their lives’ agonizing fate?

Jin laughed hoarsely at the thought. Fate was really cruel to the both of them. That last time Jin saw Kame, Jin wanted to tell him that no matter what he’d still need him. But fate wouldn’t even allow him to do that much.

Drawn from his thought, Jin felt his cell phone vibrating against the pocket of his pants, but he paid it no attention.

They proved to be persistent however, and finally on the eleventh ring, Jin figured it to be an important call and reached into his pocket. His heart picked up speed as he saw Ueda’s number on the caller ID. Ueda wasn’t one to call without purpose.

“Hello?” Jin asked.

“Jin, it’s me.”

Jin scratched the side of his cheek as he fidgeted around in his seat, “Tatsuya?”

“Yeah. Where are you?” Ueda sounded edgy, tense: something that was very unlike him.

“Look I’m busy;” Jin lied, joshing the stub in his ear, “is this important…?”

“Tegoshi quit!”

Like a bucket of cold water washing over him, Jin straightened himself immediately. “He what—?!”

Ueda wasn’t surprised at Jin’s genuinely shocked exclamation. Tegoshi had been one of the most loyal workers at A. Jewelry. It had been a grave shock for Ueda too. “You heard me Jin. He quit.” He repeated slowly, waiting for the words to sink in.

“Damn it…”

After what felt like an eternity, Ueda sighed. “Yes, it’s ‘damn it’ Jin. You’re going to need a new secretary.”

“How did this happen?! I just saw him!” Jin clouded himself in doubt and dread at the news. Just when he thought he couldn’t possible lose anything more.

“Some workers saw him leaving the building before his shift was over – you know how timely he is – so it raised some suspicion. There was nothing left in his office. He left a letter of resignation…I think you should read it.”

Jin could hardly believe what he was hearing. Tegoshi of all people? “Damn it…”

“Should I read it out for you, or would you rather read it yourself?” Ueda crunched the letter in his hands to unfold it.

“Leave it,” Jin jammed his keys back into the ignition. “I’m heading back.”

Ueda found himself chuckling at Jin’s obvious nature. No matter how hard Jin had tried, he could never completely mask his feelings.

“Ahn, what’s this?” Ueda decided to nitpick, a habit he had picked up. “You certainly have a soft spot for Tegoshi-kun.”

Jin groaned as he stepped on the gas, backing out of the parking lot in an even manner. “You’re beginning to sound more and more like that idiot, you know?”

Jin could almost see his friend rolling his eyes from where he was. “We’re going out,” he announced in a friendly huff, “I can’t help it.”

Jin laughed and he muttered a small goodbye before he hung up his phone. He threw on the seatbelt in the same red sports car Yamashita had bought for him so long ago. Quickly stepping on the accelerator, he turned back to A. Jewelry.

He felt his heart picking up speed and easily, he continued to go faster. The light was red as his heart but he paid neither notion much attention. He needed to get back to work. He needed to get Tegoshi back.

Jin continued to step on the pedal.

Faster…faster…

Until finally…

Like a bright meteor finally crashing down, Jin had hardly any time to register the taxi speeding towards him.

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 14

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:57:10 GMT

Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 14

Yamashita frowned and set down his phone a good distance away from himself and into his pocket. He couldn’t help but to anxiously look over his shoulders in a slight fear before turning back.

It had been a week since he had confessed everything to Ryo, and in more ways than not, he felt a lot lighter. But confessing to Ryo hadn’t been the gist of his problem.

About a month ago where Yamashita had went over to Jin’s large estate home, Kitagawa had unceremoniously called him into his room when the latter had not been present.

Yamashita had warned Jin that it was not a good idea to go over and spend the night at Jin’s, much less when his step-father was home, but Jin refused to take ‘no’ for an answer.

At first, Kitagawa had told him that he would do away with him right there and then if he had continued to see his son. Yamashita had replied by informing the man that he’d sooner die than live in a world without his lover.

Angry at the turn of events, the president decided to turn the tables and use Yamashita’s weakness as his strength. When he had threatened him with Jin’s life – the distraught Yamashita remained at a loss.

He left with unbalanced ends before his boyfriend had even returned. He avoided Jin for a week but eventually even the latter had his suspicions. The only way to end the madness was to end his life. But he couldn’t do it at home. Instead, he flew to Okinawa.

But that hadn’t worked out. Instead he had found a reason to continue living. His meeting with the stranger had been, and Yamashita knew, the best thing that could have ever happened to him.

So on this cold winter afternoon, he sheepishly stood in front of the vast company his two friends took to working at. He cringed a little at the workers who gave him crude looks as they walked by, but all in all, ignored them.

Yamashita was going out with Akanishi Jin, heir to the Akanishi fortune – of course he was going to be stared at.

And more than that, everyone had known that the president himself had forbid the relationship. Yamashita knew that he was not welcome. But that didn’t stop him or Jin.

He casually leaned against one of the trees near the entrance as he waited for Jin. Most of the days Jin rushed out to greet Yamashita and in turn it would be Jin who was waiting.

Oddly enough, today it was the opposite. Yamashita smiled at the phone bulging from his pocket. He had just called Ryo out as well to celebrate. The three hadn’t seen each other in a while.

Yamashita didn’t know much about it asides from what he had heard from Jin and Ryo, but apparently there had been a big bug going on about how A. Jewelry was being sued for a defective product that had been in production for almost five years now. It seemed stupid, in Yamashita’s view.

But, he decided, that was probably in his own bias opinion.

Yamashita loved phosphorescent objects; the way they glowed was intriguing to the man. It was as if he was lost in a sea of beaming lights. Once, he had tried to tell Jin this – in all seriousness of course – but all the latter did was laugh.

Apparently the makers of the product had forgotten to mention that what they were making was a radioactive product, but that was what made it glow.

A pair of earrings.

Yamashita wanted one. He had even asked Jin for a pair. But Jin refused to buy anything from that place. Albeit reluctantly, Yamashita had agreed.

Turning away any stray thoughts, Yamashita saw Jin’s figure in the distance and instantly, he broke out into a large smile. He waved, his winter jacket nearly slipping back against his arm due to the unneeded high levitation.

“Jin-Jin!” He laughed and waved at the same time, resisting the urge to run up to the man and simply hug him. But they were in front of work; actions like that were strictly forbidden.

Jin noticed the figure and began to advance towards him with hurried steps. “Pi!” He called back and from behind, Yamashita noticed a few workers stopping to stare at the sight.

He flushed a little at the thought of being viewed as some sort of lab rat and turned away before Jin could come any closer. The presence of work was most felt not when inside the actual building itself, but around the parameters.

“What’s the matter?” Jin blurted incoherently, grabbing onto the latter’s shoulders to hold him in place. Ryo had told him that he needed to better care for the man and for himself and to stay alert at all times.

Jin assumed Ryo was saying this merely because he was Ryo. He liked to tease Ryo and accuse him of paranoia. But looking at Yamashita’s stricken face and lightly trembling hands, Jin decided to keep his guard up.

Yamashita shook his head and waved away the question with an uncertain hand. There was a man staring at them. “Nothing. It’s nothing Jin, let’s go. Ryo’s waiting.” Jin nodded in agreement as the two began to head off in the general direction of the parking lot.

Looking across his shoulders again, Yamashita felt the hard stare of the same man beating away at his back. They held eye-contact for a second before Yamashita broke it abruptly.

He felt the cold sweat forming in the shape of beads at the tip of his forehead, but still he told the obliviously happy Jin nothing. He merely squeezed Jin’s hand tighter as they headed off towards his car.

Yamashita looked back again. The man was gone.

A shiver was sent up his spine and hurriedly, he tugged at Jin’s sleeve. Jin turned back questioningly at his boyfriend. “What’s wrong?” he asked, stopping.

“I think someone’s following us.” Yamashita muttered under his breath, not wanting his words to be caught in the wind. He looked back helplessly at the Jin who only laughed at the absurd comment.

“People are always staring and following us, Pi.” Jin said, walking again only this time also dragging along the reluctant man. “They probably just want the dirt on that phosphorescent case. The earrings thing? Looks like a pair was actually sold.”

Jin ignored the vertical alarm in Yamashita’s voice altogether and only continued on about work, about the case and what was being done against it.

“Jin?” Yamashita spoke up again once they neared his black sports car. Jin was already heading towards the passenger’s seat, waiting impatiently for his boyfriend to open the door. “Can we take your car today?”

Curious, Jin asked why. The latter shrugged and began to walk towards the car on his left – Jin’s flame-red convertible he and Ryo had bought the man for his birthday.

He wanted to tell Jin about Kitagawa’s threat, but the words later died in his voice box as he saw the man again, getting into a car of his own. Jin and Yamashita always – as in always – drove in Yamashita’s car with the man driving and Jin in the passenger’s seat.

Conceivably, he was purely being paranoid, but Yamashita decided that it would have been much better for him and Jin to switch positions. He had taken Kitagawa’s words to heart for the past month and today was going to be no exception.

“My car?” Jin asked, stunned. It wasn’t that he didn’t like driving, but he had much rather preferred goofing around and pestering the usually solemn Yamashita from his seat. “O-Okay?”

The drive was unusually silent as Yamashita made sure to do up his seatbelt and pestered Jin about doing the same. Jin, unused to the nagging, crossed his arms firmly across the wheel as he drove – which Yamashita had also scolded.

“Jin! Be more careful. And god damn it wear your seatbelt!” he growled, turning his gaze to the front mirror and looking back at the cars behind them. He had long lost track of which had been the man’s, but it had easily slipped into the afternoon.

They recklessly drove around for a couple of hours, stopping by random stores to pick up meaningless articles of clothing or unneeded food, but Yamashita didn’t mind.

He was still a little edgy about the man, but glimpsing in the rearview mirror now, there was no trace of him. He lightened up and even almost laughed at his own paranoia. He was being too fearful.

“You should come over again next week; you haven’t been over in a while.” Jin said suddenly, keeping his eyes on the road. Yamashita remembered the last time going over to Jin’s. It was what had almost cost him his life and more importantly to him, Jin’s.

“Busy.” He stated plainly – an obvious lie.

Jin didn’t budge. “Why not?” He pestered.

Unable to answer that, Yamashita embarrassedly fidgeted with the seatbelt in his hands, twisting it this way and that before muttering, “Come over to my house tonight.”

Jin laughed and stepped on the gas as he neared the red stop light. “Pi’s being naughty~!” he giggled, turning to kiss his boyfriend.

“J-Jin! Eyes on the damn road.” Yamashita whined, pushing his boyfriend away. Jin pouted as his cell phone went off and he let it ring. By the eighth ring, however, he handed the phone over to the latter to answer.

“Ryo,” he mouthed and gave the man the electronic.

Yamashita nodded and picked up. “Hello?” He grinned a little at Ryo’s naturally authoritative voice. “No, I’m fine Ryo.” Yamashita answered again, tucking the small phone between his shoulder and neck, giggling away at his friend’s worry.

“Yes, I’m with Jin. Sorry to keep you waiting. Just hold on a little longer, Ryo, we’re almost there. Yes, yes, I’ll tell him. No, Kitagawa-san hasn’t tried—”

Yamashita’s eyes widened. There it was. That same car. It was carelessly passing by the red traffic light now, emitting honks from other cars. It was making its way towards the passenger’s seat of the car, Yamashita knew. Because that was where Jin always sat.

Jin didn’t notice this, however and instead began to slow down the car because of the color of the traffic symbol. Yamashita, shocked, couldn’t bring himself up to hear Ryo’s worried words on the other end of the phone call.

“CAREFUL!”

Jin looked at what Yamashita was staring at.

But it was too late – another car had bounteously rammed into their own. He felt it speeding out of control; things were passing by so fast that Jin couldn’t even begin to put names on the various objects they were hurdling against.

Jin desperately tried to turn the wheel but the impact had been too great. He felt the car flipping and his heart had launched in itself.

Jin screamed.

Surprisingly, Yamashita didn’t; he only dropped the phone from his hands and closed his eyes in a silenced shock.

He wanted to scream for Jin, for Jin to remain safe, but he felt the blood rushing to his head. The car spun out of direction and as did the other, and they had both hurdled over the boundaries of the road and offside towards a rockier region.

There was a large, deafening thump and then, finally, absolute silence.

Jin felt out of his right of mind, hanging upside down with only his seatbelt to hold him in place. He remained closed-eyed for a while; he wasn’t even sure how many minutes had passed, before taking in what had happened slowly. Very slowly.

He wanted to close his eyes and have them remained closed, but a sudden shout brought him out from his dream. “PI!” Jin was sure that he had finally lost it. He was hearing voices. “PI!” there it was again. “PI!!!”

Thinking amiss, Jin finally realized that the voice was Ryo’s and that it was coming from the fallen cell. He coughed out red and undid his belt, turning towards his boyfriend. “Pi?” he asked hoarsely, feeling the blood trickling down the side of his face. “Pi? Pi? Pi?!”

Jin gently touched the man’s paling face. He looked as he always did, peacefully calm without a trace of worry albeit hanging upside down along with Jin. “Pi?” Jin asked again, touching the side of the man’s face. He looked down at his hand. Red.

“Pi…Pi!” Yamashita was bleeding. But then again so was Jin. Although, by judging whose side of the car had been more affected it had been, by a long shot, Yamashita’s. Jin felt himself crying, mercilessly shaking the still figurine. “Hang on! Hang on, damn it Pi!”

“I’ll…I’ll find help. I’ll find…” Jin promised weakly as he opened the smashed door and coughed out more blood, searching desperately for someone – anyone. The car had been run down a ditch; he noted wearily, the lack of blood in his system finally taking effect.

Jin fainted halfway to the open road.

◦●○◦

“Help!” Jin cried out hoarsely as he shot his eyes open.

The dream had felt so realistic that Jin could almost feel himself bleeding again. He looked down at his shaking, pale hands and began to take in the awkwardly white scenery around him.

Looking to his side there were nothing more than foreign objects that Jin could not place. Slowly, his mind began to work away to fit the pieces of what had been lost.

The last thing he had remembered was being in an alleyway after meeting with Ryo. Kame had been there too; hell even Koki managed to somehow weasel his way into the situation. Jin continued in his attempt to replay the episode.

There was a gun; yes, Jin was certain of that. Was he the one holding it? He closed his eyes in a desperate remembrance. Yes, he confirmed, he was the one holding it. But what else had happened? There was a shot, Jin was certain.

He sat up in the bed that wasn’t his own and threw away the covers. His head ached terribly and softly, Jin placed a hand on his forehead in hopes of lessening the steam radiating from it. He grabbed his jacket on the nightstand beside him and began to walk out of the room.

Fragments and bits of that night swiveled into Jin’s head as he quietly began to piece together the missing parts.

In his haste, Ryo had slung a hand over his shoulder and pressed down on the trigger with Jin’s hand. Trying to remember the rest seemed a task impossible and Jin’s head only began to hurt all the more.

Kame, he thought restlessly, holding onto the wall for support, I need to see Kame.

He stumbled across the hallway when he had finally bumped into a young nurse. Hushed, he had asked for a patient of the name Kamenashi Kazuya and willingly, she directed him towards his room.

“So he is here.” Jin coughed, standing in front of the door. Had this meant that he and Ryo had shot Kame? Jin shook his head; he refused to believe such crude things.

His fingers trembled as Jin opened it a crack and peeked inside, half expecting it to be empty – that Kame had already left in his anger and was waiting at home to scold him.

When Jin walked into the hospital room, his mind stopped functioning in its own way. Something wouldn’t allow him to believe that the shrunken figure on the bed was Kame – his Kame.

He didn’t feel as if he had the right to be here, hobbling towards the bed and sitting flatly against the chair beside it.

Kame. How many times had he hurt Kame? Countless times, Jin decided. But at the same time, he had also made Kame happy. “‘Thank you’ or would ‘I’m sorry’ be more appropriate?”

Jin addressed no one in particular before laughing at himself for saying such an obscure thing. “Oh geez, what am I saying? I’m not leaving.”

Jin watched the time passing by on the clock engraved to the wall with a small frown. “Has time always been this slow? Or is it just because you’re not talking to me?” He asked Kame, who remained motionless in the bed.

Jin panicked at his fiancé’s unresponsiveness as he began to sullenly shake the figure. “Kame, stop ignoring me!” he pleaded.

“Kame…how long have we known each other?” Jin cried out, but still there was no response. That hadn’t stopped Jin from continuing to mercilessly shake the figure, but it had stopped his heart from beating for a minute. Was this because he shot Kame?

Still, Jin refused to believe he could be capable of such a thing. “Kame! In these five weeks I’ve felt much more than I could ever in my life.”

The shaking slowed down as Jin began to cry. “In some ways, I think Ryo was right. We might or might not work out; I’m not sure. But I am sure of this: I love you, Kame. Past, present, future, I want to share them all with you.”

Kame’s face was pale and stationary and instantly, Jin thought back to Yamashita. “Kame yesterday was just another one of my tantrums! You have to believe me! I’d never kill you!”

Still nothing. “Kame, damn it, wake up! Yell at me for being stupid! Anything!” He felt himself crying but Jin refused to acknowledge it. He stopped trying to get the man to respond and instead threw his head across Kame’s chest. “Anything! Kame!”

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing in here?!”

Normally, Jin’s head would instantly shoot up at the voice and turn to reply, but instead, he kept it in place on top of Kame’s steadily rising and falling chest. Koki waltzed into the room with a tray of food in hand but directly put it aside and walked up to Jin.

“You’re an asshole!” Koki shouted. “An asshole, damn it!”

He then fiercely grabbed onto Jin’s collar, shoving the man to the side before sending a flying fist in his direction. Jin didn’t have enough reaction time or thought before he felt his face bruising generously.

The blow collided with Jin’s weary face and clumsily, the man stumbled backwards. Still in his daze, Jin didn’t even notice Koki take a hold of him once more, sending another punch towards him.

“He’ll probably forget everything again thanks to you! I trusted you! I trusted you with him and you turned out to be nothing but a traitor! You’re a traitor! You work for A. Jewelry too, huh?!”

“I let you…I let you love him in my place because that was what Kame wanted. But look what you’ve done to him now!” Frustrated, Koki let go of Jin and ran an agitated hand through his short hair. “You don’t…you don’t have a right to see him!”

“Kame…” Jin muttered between his bruised lips, looking helplessly at the immobile man. “He won’t remember?”

“No.”

Jin didn’t know how to hide himself at times like these. He didn’t know what to think, what to do, or what he was supposed to feel. Regret? Anger? Frustration? Instead of picking one of the three, he chose them all.

Jin looked back at Koki in distress, hoping upon hoping that he was kidding. The colorful memories he painted with Kame…the pictures they took…were they all for naught?

His upper lip was cut and his lower lip was bleeding, but still Jin managed to find his way out of the room. He needed to clear his head. Suffocating thoughts were all that plagued the businessman. And in his haste, he bumped into two familiar silhouettes.

He didn’t know why, but probably because of the familiarity of the two men, because they made Jin feel at home, he let himself go.

“Jin…” the first man asked, worried at his damaged face.

“Ryo!” Jin blurted out through his tears and flung himself onto the shorter man. “Ryo!” He grabbed onto him even tighter, feeling himself sliding down Ryo’s lean body. “He won’t remember me! He won’t…he won’t…”

Jin cried again and slid down to the floor. “RYO!”

Jin clutched onto the sleeves of Ryo’s pants as if his life was dependent upon them. Ryo did nothing but stand where he was, trying his best not to look down at his friend on the floor who was mercilessly searching for the right answers in the wrong places.

Ryo didn’t know what to say and only looked over at Ueda, who too, seemed to be at a loss. Ueda felt heavy as he bent down to level himself with Jin. At times like these words were not the easiest thing to say, but Ueda forced himself to say something, anything.

He grabbed a fist full of the CEO’s hair and gently ran his fingers through it, hoping that it would calm the man down.

“Jin…Jin, it’s better this way,” Ueda said slowly, rubbing Jin’s weary back with his hands. “It’s better this way. This way you can come back to Tokyo without any regrets.” He said in the softest voice he could muster.

Jin shook his head fiercely, aghast at Ueda’s casualness. He wanted to spit out a rude comment or remark that had become a routine when with Kame, but the words seemed to die in his throat.

“Kame…” he whimpered helplessly, “it’s all my fault…and Kame…Kame…” How many faults and wrongdoings did one have to go through in life before they were allowed to lead a life without having to turn back? Jin couldn’t even begin to imagine.

He struggled against Ueda’s loose hold. “No! No!” He pried himself from Ryo and began to his unsteady feet in agony.

He tried to walk into Kame’s room, but his feet were too heavy, too unbalanced to allow him to do so. When Jin fell, Ryo and Ueda had automatically assumed the man would break his fall, but he didn’t. He didn’t care. He let his face hit the arctic-hard floor.

“I want to marry him!” Jin yelled, angry at himself. At Kame. At everyone.

He felt anger towards himself for being the one who triggered Kame’s memory loss. He felt anger towards Kame for being so psychologically unstable, he felt anger towards Ryo who prodded the knowledge into his head. And through his anger, Jin cried.

He cried and then cried some more, praying that somehow this be his last love. He didn’t want to love again. But he wanted to be with Kame.

With their earrings, the two promised each other their lives, their futures. Jin promised to take Kame to Tokyo. He wanted to show him from the tops of the skies to the bottoms of the seas and absolutely everything in between.

“Let me go!” Jin screamed, fitful about having his two friends holding him from barging back into the room. They probably had the right to do so seeing as Jin wasn’t in my right of mind but Jin didn’t care.

He wanted to take Kame, even as the man was now and simply run away with him. Somewhere under the same sky, yet far, far away. If they could run away together maybe they could be happy. “Let me go, damn you!” Jin tried again to push Ryo away.

“Jin! He doesn’t even know who the hell you are!” The man attempted to reason with Jin. Jin didn’t listen. He only continued on in this struggle.

Surely it was possible for one to change their future, Jin thought. Maybe he couldn’t give back all of his blood and rid himself of A. Jewelry, but surely he could change his future. Nothing was for certain in this fucked up life. Jin could change his life.

“I don’t care! I’m staying with Kame! I’m not leaving…I’m not.” Jin began to falter with his aggression and began to feel weak in the arms of his friend. “I’m…not.”

Ryo sighed in frustration as he allowed his grip on Jin to fall. “You’ll only hurt yourself! What the hell’s the point of talking to someone who doesn’t even want to see you?”

He tried to explain the situation to Jin, but the man didn’t seem to care. “If familiarity hurts his head, don’t you think he’d have another mental relapse just seeing you?!”

Jin stopped for a minute – he had never considered that.

He then thought back to that day he held Kame’s hand…he wanted to tell him that he loved him. Yet, all he ended up saying were spiteful words, despite what he truly felt. Jin wanted to tell him ‘thank you’ for loving him or maybe a small ‘sorry’ for being so useless. And then kiss him.

He needed Kame. He promised to take him to Tokyo.

Ueda stepped in by placing a hand on the surprised Ryo’s shoulder and shaking his head. Ryo somehow understood and nodded, allowing Ueda to try and reason with the disheartened man. “Jin.” He spoke softly, “listen to me.”

Jin stopped moving and sat motionlessly on his knees, refusing to look at either of the two. Ueda spoke. “Earlier today we received a phone call from the company. The president has passed away.” He waited for Jin’s facial reaction. There was none. Ueda sighed.

“We’re not going to force you to come back, Jin, but you have to see that there’s no point in staying here anymore. You heard Tanaka-san; he won’t remember anything. You have a responsibility.”

Ueda gently combed his fingers through Jin’s silky hair once more and then stood up, joining sides with Ryo.

He grabbed onto Ryo’s sleeve and began to drag him away. “Ryo and I will be waiting at the airport. Here’s your ticket,” he gave Ryo a look, and understanding what the man wanted; Ryo took out the ticket from his pocket and passed it over to Ueda.

“The plane leaves in about an hour.” Ueda gently placed the permit on the floor beside Jin. “Please be there.”

◦●○◦

He blinked twice. And then twice more to make sure that the empty abyss of whiteness was real. “Where am I?” He shivered a little at the voice that emerged from his throat. Did he always sound like this?

Another moment was taken to look around and take in his surroundings. White. He turned to his right. More white. Was his life always this insipid? “Why am I here?” Again he spoke in that musically soothing voice that he wasn’t used to.

He tried to remember what he was doing there or more importantly how he had gotten there but nothing came to mind. The only thing he had to rely on was the churning feeling in his stomach that told him that someone somewhere needed him.

“I’m not supposed to be here!” He shouted desolately, hauling his covers to the side and hurrying to his feet.

A surprised doctor entered the room with a clipboard and upon seeing the patient agitated and ready to strip himself of his covers, dropped the clipboard and hurried over to the side of the bed, gently pushing the man back down. “Please sir, calm down.”

“No!” The man retorted, fighting the doctor’s grip. “I have somewhere to go!” He knew he did. He simply didn’t know where it was or for what reason but he knew that there was somewhere other than here he had to be.

“Sir, please just lie back down.”

“No!” He refused, pushing his way past the doctor with no avail. “No! There’s someone who needs me! Let me go!”

His squirms met with valiance resistance from the doctor and soon enough a couple of nurses entered the room, surprised at the unpleased sight. “Let me go damn it!”

“I’m afraid we can’t do that sir. You’re in a critical state right now.”

“Let me go!”

The doctor turned back to the two nurses who in turn nodded and hurried to his side. “Hold him down!”

“No, no, no, no, no, no!” He shrieked, he fought, kicked and screamed but yet the ones holding him down had greatly outweighed his efforts. “Someone needs me!” He yelled again, hoping for the strangers to understand. “Someone needs me!”

The doctor shook his head solemnly. “Sir, you don’t even know who it is that needs you.”

“I-I do!” He retorted, racking his brain for the name of the person. Or the place. “It’s…it’s…” Why wasn’t anything coming to him?

Sudden realization dawned upon him. The corners of his eyes began to floor themselves with unneeded tears and in his frustration he threw away his blandly white hospital sheets.

“God damn it why can’t I remember?!” He gripped the fallen hospital sheets in anger as he stood up.

His feet were a little shaky, possibly from the long extended period of not walking upon them, but he couldn’t remember how long he had been out. There was some sort of commotion going on outside of his room and Kame could see a stick of auburn-colored hair from the corner.

He shut his eyes together. Something was oddly familiar about that. The stand of hair was beginning to disappear, and finally, Kame broke through with his struggle with the doctors to off after the hair.

“Kame?” Koki asked from his side across the room, stunned at the man’s determination.

“That’s my life – a never-ending cycle of lost memories, forgotten feelings. It’s like I’m being reborn, again and again…”

“Well whenever it does; yes I’ll be here for you to remind you of your old self.”

Kame felt anger. He didn’t know why but the thought of that hair color annoyed him to no end. He bolted out of the room but before he could make it out into the hallway, Koki as well a few nurses held him back.

“No!” he struggled against their grasps, “he’s supposed to take me somewhere! He needs me!” He yelled again, desperately trying to peek out into the hall. And he managed to. It was only for a brief flash of a second, but he managed to see.

At the same time, outside the hospital and on the side of the beach, the wind lovingly stroked the tide marks of the ocean.

Perhaps there was a place where the wind met with water, just not in this time. True love could never be forgotten, and if it was meant to be, it would only be stored and set aside for a time.

◦●○◦

If you had to pick a number between 2 and 3, which one would it be? D: